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"Do You Make Embarrassing Mistakes Like This in Your Writing?"
You Have to Laugh!This is the funniest photo* I've seen in a long time. Don't you just love it? The body language speaks volumes and the irony is a delight! I know we shouldn't laugh, but ... Of course, it's not quite so funny if you're the one making these mistakes. And it's definitely not a laughing matter if you make errors like this in your business, work, professional or personal writing because, as we all know, first impressions count. "At Last There's a Guaranteed Fast, Easy and Convenient Way to Improve the Writing Skills You Must Have to Succeed in Today's World" You know what it's like, don't you? You sit down at your desk to write something ... you've got a coffee or a cold drink close by to sustain you, you've straightened the papers in your in-tray (or in that pile that serves as your in-tray), you've put all your pens in the coffee cup you've been using as a pen holder since you broke your proper one, and you've pretty much procrastinated for as long as you can. But now the time has come, and it's time to start writing. You pick up your pen or put dainty digit to keyboard and ... Ummm ... Er ... Why is this so difficult? After all, you know exactly what you want to say, but somewhere, on the journey from the brain to the page, the message gets lost. Getting started ... Aargh! Writing is like everything else in life ... getting started is the hardest part. You can gnaw your way through half a dozen pencil tops and still have nothing to show for it except a nasty taste in your mouth. Or, you can use the trick that nearly all writers resort to at times (some more often than others) and that is, you pick up your pen and you write. What? Anything. The first thing that pops into your head, and you keep writing until you run out of steam. Then, you go back and edit what you've written. And voilà! You've made a start! But even after you have filled the page with words, you know, as soon as you read it, that it doesn't really express what you want it to express. It lacks "something." You're not sure what that "something" is, all you know is that it's not there! Wouldn't it be great to know that every time you had to write, you could produce something that said exactly what you wanted it to say? Something that created just the effect you intended? Something that got the results you wanted? There's a nifty little tip I'll tell you in a moment that will improve your writing instantly, (and you'll find lots more tips in the Write101 Writing Tutorials).
Because I said so ... No? Then would you believe that the information and techniques in these writing tutorials are the result of more than twenty years I spent in the classroom teaching High School English and History?
Yes, I thought that sounded a bit better.
As head of the History department, I was
responsible for devising and implementing teaching programs, assessing our
students' achievement, and
supervising staff and students in my department, so I know what works and
what doesn't! For the past six years, I've written and produced a weekly online newsletter that has over 10,000 subscribers from every continent (except Antarctica!) The newsletter receives a constant flow of testimonials from appreciative subscribers and I was recently awarded third place in the 2004 Preditors and Editors Readers' Poll for zine-editor. (Says she, blushing modestly as she draws a circle in the dust with the toe of her dainty boot ...) I’m confident you’ll improve your writing skills with these tutorials, so you can write well - whatever the occasion!
What do you need to know about language to write well? In order to give your writing that edge it needs, you must understand how it functions because its success depends on all its individual parts working together. It's a bit like making a motor car - you can't get four tyres, a steering wheel, a handful of nuts and bolts, a couple of pistons, a carburettor etc, toss them all into a barrel, give them a bit of a mix, tip them out on the garage floor and expect to see a Porsche smiling back at you ... It's just not going to happen! Likewise, you can't just scratch a few words onto a page and expect anyone else to know exactly what you meant. All words have a special function to perform in a sentence and you misuse them at your peril. Consider this sentence:
Or this:
The person who wrote these sentences knew what he/she meant, but the rest of us are likely to become confused - and all because of a simple fault in grammar. But isn't learning how to write boring? Not a bit! Let me show you how easy it is to improve your writing using the same techniques I used in the classroom with thousands of students. In the course of my teaching career, I taught people of all ages, ability levels and backgrounds, and I successfully prepared them for university entrance. Many of them still write to me and send photos of their families. And since we're all still friends, it shows that the methods I use are enjoyable as well as successful. I reveal lots of tips I used with my students that gave even the most writing-challenged among them an edge when it came to exam time! You'll not only improve your writing skills with this course of tutorials, you'll find yourself having fun as well! Why is writing so important? It’s a fact that writing has become more important over the past decade than it has been for many years. In the 60s, telephones started to dominate our personal and business communication. Instead of sitting down to pen a letter or even send a telegram, it was much easier to pick up the phone and call someone. And call people we did – to the tune of billions of dollars in phone calls every year! But writing has made a comeback – and the main reason writing skills are becoming so important today is the Internet. We're caught up in a powerful, technological revolution that has changed forever the way we communicate. With more and more of our activities being conducted via computers, it's more important than ever that we're able to use language correctly. When you’re speaking face-to-face, you have plenty of extra signals to help you make your meaning clear. You use gestures, facial expression, body language and all the tricks you can with your voice itself. You vary the pitch, pace and volume in response to the signals coming from the other person. But still meanings get scrambled and people misunderstand each other. When you’re communicating by voice alone, you don’t have many of the physical clues, although you can still get additional meaning from the sound of the voice. But when you’re relying on the written word alone, it’s very easy to be misunderstood. So it’s vital that what you mean to write is what you do, in fact, write. And to do that, you have to know how to use language correctly. F'r example: Did you know that Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while travelling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope? Hmmm ... Got that image fixed firmly in place? Do you think that's what the writer intended you to visualise? I think not ... Basically, if you start a sentence with an action, you must place the actor immediately after it AND you must place modifiers near the words they modify. So, much as I hate to destroy that delightful image you have of Lincoln wending his merry way to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope, I feel it my duty to restructure that sentence: Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope while he was travelling from Washington to Gettysburg. OR While he was travelling from Washington to Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope. How about this one? Flying across the island, the boy saw seagulls. Who is this kid? Clark Kent? Professor Jones has been writing a history of the light bulb since 1910. That's one long-winded professor! You can see why you must be able to write well, can't you? Can you imagine what a dill you'd feel if you wrote something like that? And just think about the number of times you have to write something in a typical week … Scary, isn’t it? All those times when you think you've made a brilliant point but could have actually sent your readers reaching for their hankies to stifle their guffaws. When they dive to the floor, maybe it's not to get a pencil to record your wisdom, but is so they can bite on the leg of the table to silence their laughter ... If you work, you'll have to write something in the course of your week. An email sent off with spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and fuzzy thinking reflects poorly not just on the writer, but also on the business. What will your boss think about that? How often do you send out emails? How often do you have to write letters to customers or to suppliers? How often do you have to send memos, notes or reports to other staff members? How often do you need to send written confirmation of orders, contracts or agreements? What happens if you can't express yourself clearly? Are you losing business and missing opportunities because of your writing skills? In your personal life, you’ll no doubt be sending emails to friends and family every week, if not every day. What happens if you’re not sure about how to use words, if you don’t know the difference between words that sound similar but have totally different meanings? A quick test If you have a moment to spare, have a quick look at these pairs of words and see if you know how to use each …
There are many words like these that are commonly confused (you’ll find the answers at the end of this letter). OK … now try these. Do you know what’s wrong with these sentences?
(Answers at the end of this letter.)
A nifty tip OK, I promised you a tip to help you instantly improve your writing, and I always deliver on my promises. So here's a simple way to make your writing more interesting. You know, one of the most common problems some writers have is that they can't engage their readers' attention. Every sentence starts with "The ..." or "I ..." and if you start every sentence with the same word, every sentence will have the same structure and you know what that leads to, don't you? Yep! Boring ... What's the solution? Start each sentence with a different part of speech, like this:
See the possibilities? When you have my tutorials, you'll have a detailed explanation of all the parts of speech, so you can choose the right word for the right occasion - every time. Are there any other benefits that come from being able to write well? But of course there are ... Once you have control of language, you have control of your life! When you've mastered the skill of writing well, you'll have renewed confidence in yourself. We all know how the ability to succeed in one area spills over into other aspects of our lives - the good musician is also the good student; the good sportsperson is also the good leader and so it goes. I know we sometimes rail against Fate and make incisive pronouncements such as, "It's not fair!" But fairness has nothing to do with it. People who succeed do so because they can't help themselves. Not once they've got the confidence that comes from succeeding in one area of their lives, that is. You'll be amazed at the opportunities that are available to you when you know how to write well. Students do better in exams; job-seekers stand a better chance of being employed; workers are more likely to be promoted - but there are countless other ways that improved writing can improve your opportunities.
What are some of the possibilities?
Why is writing so important in business? Because just about every aspect of any business involves the written word! Even labour-intensive businesses rely on ads to tell potential customers that they exist; they need invoices, orders, letters to suppliers, ways to respond to complaints, instruction booklets on the care and maintenance of their product and so on. A survey of 402 companies reported by the Associated Press noted that executives identified writing as the most valued skill but said 80% of their employees at all levels need to improve. The number of workers needing improvement in writing skills was up 20 percent from results of the same survey in 1991. Read that again ... 80% of their employees at all levels need to improve. Are you one of that 80% who needs to improve? Employers want workers who can communicate effectively with other workers, customers, suppliers and contractors. These days, 90% of business transactions involve written communication. The message is if you want to succeed, you have to be able to write well! "The most important skills for young people entering the workforce are:
(Corporate Council on Education - part of the Conference Board of Canada) "According to a NACE (National Association of Colleges and Employers) study of employers, individuals who possess good communication skills who can clearly and effectively communicate, verbally, non-verbally and in writing are valued candidates for employment." (Arizona State University) Good communication skills are important in every career! Which of these descriptions fits you?
What do you do next? OK ... you're convinced. You're ready to do something about improving your writing, but there aren't enough hours in the day as it is to do everything you have to do!
What you want - what you need - is a course that covers all the basics of language, so you can start to write well ... now. With this course of tutorials, you're in control of your learning, and it's up to you how often you work and when you work. Some people achieve their best results working in the early morning; others are night people and need time to unwind from the day's stress so they can enjoy working on their course without interruption. What's your optimum work time? You don't have to rush to be at your class by a certain time; you don't have to worry about baby-sitters letting you down and missing your lesson; you don't need to go out when you feel a cold coming on. You choose the time, the place and the pace. It's safe Sadly, enrolling in night courses is not an option for many people - there are too many risks involved in being out alone at night. Cars can break down, taxis can disappear when you need them and you can miss buses and trains. If you can't go out to study, what's the answer? Learn at home! It's easy What could be easier than studying in the comfort and safety of your own home? These tutorials are easy to follow and show you, step by step, how to use language correctly. You'll find:
It's quick You don't have to wait to sign up at college or night school. You don't have to wait for snail mail. You don't have to wait around for a tutor to come to your place.
What makes these tutorials different?
You WILL find that the whole course is set out to lead you carefully through each aspect of writing, so you have the skills to write well, whatever the occasion. The tutorials are based on methods developed in the classroom during a twenty-year teaching career. They've been used successfully with students of all ages, of all abilities and from all backgrounds. They work! Regardless of your present situation and needs, you'll soon be able to present a professional image with your writing. Additional specialist tutorials Specialist Tutorial One: The Student Writing Tutorial is for secondary and tertiary students and covers the essential skills of note-taking and research; writing about literature; formal essay-writing and documentation. As a student you know that 80% of your exams depend on your written work - regardless of the subject. If you're not required to write a full essay, you're asked to write paragraphs, short responses, label diagrams and so on. More than 95% of your exams require you to read and interpret the written word in the questions and instructions. The more competent you are at transferring your knowledge from your brain to the paper, the better your results will be. And, let's be honest here, don't you know people who have less knowledge than you have, who consistently get better results than you do simply because they know how to write their answers? Wouldn't you like to be rewarded with the marks that you deserve? You will be - once you have improved your writing. What's more, this is something that will help you for the rest of your life. Writing improves the more you do it.
PLUS - you'll receive these bonuses Bonus 1: 50 Study Tips to help every student succeed Bonus 2: A detailed Study Guide with tips on motivation, organisation, the work area that is most conducive to effective study and why you'll never be able to complain about having a "poor memory" again! Study these writing tutorials at home and improve your grades at school and college! Don't waste any more time! Click here. Specialist Tutorial Two: The Business Writing Tutorial is designed to assist those who need to write for business and covers writing different types of business letters, formal reports and simple business proposals. As with so many things in life, it's often the little things that let you down, like knowing what's wrong with these terms: alot, return back, neither rain or shine ... when to use "who" and when to use "whom," when to put the apostrophe in "it's" and when to use "its." In business on the Internet, your reputation can rise or fall on the way you write - would you trust your hard-earned money to someone who doesn't know (or doesn't care) how to write well? Obviously not.
Many businesses call upon their staff to submit reports - there's a simple way to set these out and it's all here for you in this course. Do you need to write a business proposal, but haven't got a clue as to how to go about it? Relax - it's easy when you know how. PLUS - you'll receive these four special bonuses: Bonus 1: A website check-list to help you design a site that will keep visitors coming back Bonus 2: The three most common writing mistakes and how to avoid them in your writing Bonus 3: The four recognised steps in the communication process, what can go wrong at each of them and a communications model to use so you can make any necessary changes before you invest your time or money
Bonus 4: How
to adopt the right tone in your writing so you can suit your message to
your audience As well as these specific business topics, the writing course covers all the basics you'll need to write well - whatever the occasion.
BONUS OFFERS You know how everyone says you should offer special bonuses to help people make up their minds to buy? Well, even though I know that the Write101 course is exactly what you need to help you improve your writing, I also have three terrific bonuses - one of which is sure to appeal to you. Bonus 1 Most of us dream of writing a book, a short story or an article and getting it published. This first bonus will help you make that dream a reality. It's called The Easy Way to Write Stories that Sell and here are some of the things you'll find in it: Mental Preparation Time Management Belief Inspiration Subject Matter Genre Scope Getting Ideas The 7-Step Story Generator Characters Interactions Story Setting The 5-Point Plot Structure Style and Tone The Easy Way to Write Stories that Sell Point of View Tense Plotting The Twist Building a Template The ‘1-2-3-Bang’ and Other Stories Rights & Payment Good Examples of Short Stories This is just some of the ground covered in your first bonus! Bonus 2 Win with Lynne - Expert Guide to Winning Competition Prizes OK ... If you've ever envied those people who seem to win trips, cars, watches etc but have never won anything in your life ... then do I have something for you! This book was written by Lynne Suzanne, who has won two cars, world-wide holidays and a wealth of prizes - so when she decides to reveal her secrets of success, we'd be silly not to listen. Lynne says, "Before
you tell me you're not lucky, like any other pastime there's a knack to
it. It's great fun and I'll show you exactly how you can scoop
fantastic prizes. Bonus 3 Autoresponder Magic - a collection of autoresponder messages and letters for every possible situation. This contains some of the most successful and persuasive autoresponder messages ever written. It's jam-packed with messages that have been proven to work by the top Internet professionals. Which of these proven autoresponder messages could you use to increase your sales?
By carefully studying these winners - you'll be on your way to creating your own. All these proven messages are yours to copy, model or mix-and-match in your Writing Course. Order now and receive these three valuable bonuses!
Kind regards, Jennifer Stewart P.S. Remember, you only get one chance to make a good first impression. Don't let your writing let you down. Take that first step now to improve your writing skills. Answers to quiz: 1. Lavinia blushed when she recalled the gaffe she’d made in curtseying to the waiter when she mistook him for the prince. (A gaffe is a social blunder; a gaff is a hook used to lift fish out of the water etc) 2. The guerilla forces halted the enemy's advances. (Guerilla refers to an irregular armed force that fights a stronger force by sabotage and harassment; a gorilla is a member of the ape family … the best known is the fictional King Kong!) 3. Vacation time had arrived at last. (Vacation is a holiday; vocation refers to a calling usually to religious service.) 4. She was afraid she was going to lose her purse. (Lose means to misplace something; loose means not tight fitting or not bound or fastened together.) 5. Buy your stationery supplies before the price goes up. (Stationery refers to paper, envelopes and also now pens, pencils and other writing and printing supplies; stationary means standing still.) Return whence you came! Sentence Corrections: 1. There's lots of animals at the zoo. Animals is a plural noun - there are two or more animals under discussion here, so the VERB in the sentence must (absolutely MUST) agree with the subject. There's is a contraction of two words - there and is. Is is the singular form of the verb, are is the plural; so the sentence should read: There are lots of animals at the zoo. Actually, it would be much better to choose another word for lots, since this is a pretty boring word (a bit like nice). Many would be a better choice. There are many animals at the zoo. That looks better. 2. He's been laying on the beach all day. Well, for a start, he's going to get sunburned and run the risk of skin cancer, but if he's so keen on getting a tan, who are we to interfere? Secondly, he's one weird puppy ... laying is what chooks (hens) do, they lay eggs; people can lie on the beach, but laying ... hmmm. So this sentence should read: He's been lying on the beach every day of his holiday. 3. She managed to buy the three last tickets for the concert. Lucky girl - she's done the impossible because there can only ever be ONE last anything; she may well have bought the last three tickets, but not the three last tickets. So this sentence should read: She managed to buy the last three tickets for the concert. 4. You’ll get bargains everyday at this store! You may well get bargains every day you go to the store, and they may be on everyday items, but you won’t get bargains everyday. Every refers to each and all members of a group without exception; everyday means ordinary or commonplace. Return whence you came! * The photo was sent to me a couple of years ago by someone who'd got it from a friend who'd got it from ... Well, you know how it goes. If you happen to know where it originally came from, please let me know so I can give credit where credit is due. |
