You Have to Laugh!
I know we shouldn't laugh, but ...
This is the funniest photo I've seen in a long time. Don't you just love it? The body language speaks volumes and the irony is a delight!
Of course, it's not quite so funny if you're the one making these mistakes.
And it's definitely not a laughing matter if you make errors like this in your business, work, professional or personal writing because, as we all know, first impressions count.
"At Last There's a Guaranteed Fast, Easy and Convenient Way to Improve the Writing Skills You Must Have to Succeed in Today's World"
A teacher with over twenty years' experience shows you how to write well in ANY situation!
Writing is one of those skills that everyone needs, and in my years at the chalk-face, I spent a great deal of time trying to impress this upon my students.
It’s a fact that writing has become more important over the past decades than it has been for many years.
Why Is Writing So Important in the 21st Century?
In the 1960s, telephones started to dominate our personal and business communication. Instead of sitting down to pen a letter or even send a telegram, it was much easier to pick up the phone and call someone. And call people we did – to the tune of billions of dollars in phone calls every year!
But writing has made a comeback – and the main reason writing skills are becoming so important today is the Internet. We're caught up in a powerful, technological revolution that has changed forever the way we communicate. With more and more of our activities being conducted via computers, it's more important than ever that we're able to use language correctly.
When you’re speaking face-to-face, you have plenty of extra signals to help you make your meaning clear. You use gestures, facial expression, body language and all the tricks you can with your voice itself. You vary the pitch, pace and volume in response to the signals coming from the other person. But still meanings get scrambled and people misunderstand each other.
When you’re communicating by voice alone, you don’t have many of the physical clues, although you can still get additional meaning from the sound of the voice.
But when you’re relying on the written word alone, it’s very easy to be misunderstood. So it’s vital that what you mean to write is what you do, in fact, write. And to do that, you have to know how to use language correctly.
Just think about the number of times you have to write something in a typical week …
Scary, isn’t it?
Do you want to brush up your writing skills so you can write confidently in any situation?
Of course you do! And that's why I spent several months writing this course of tutorials.
Why Do You Need to Write Well?
As with so many things in life, it's often the little things that let you down, like knowing what's wrong with these terms: alot, return back, neither rain or shine ...
Do you know when to use who and when to use whom? When to put the apostrophe in it's and when to use its?
With my 4-part Writing Course, you'll soon discover how to avoid simple errors like those above.
In order to give your writing that edge it needs, you must understand how it functions because its success depends on all its individual parts working together.
It's a bit like making a motor car - you can't get four tyres, a steering wheel, a handful of nuts and bolts, a couple of pistons, a carburettor etc, toss them all into a barrel, give them a bit of a mix, tip them out on the garage floor and expect to see a Porsche smiling back at you ... It's just not going to happen!
Likewise, you can't just scratch a few words onto a page and expect anyone else to know exactly what you meant. All words have a special function to perform in a sentence and you misuse them at your peril.
Consider this sentence:
The person who wrote these sentences knew what he/she meant, but the rest of us are likely to become confused - and all because of a simple fault in grammar.
When you’re relying on the written word alone, it’s very easy to be misunderstood. So it’s vital that what you mean to write is what you do, in fact, write. And to do that, you have to know how to use language correctly.
What's wrong with this sentence?
Did you know that Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while travelling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope?
Hmmm ... Got that image fixed firmly in place? Do you think that's what the writer intended you to visualise? I think not ...
Basically, if you start a sentence with an action, you must place the actor immediately after it AND you must place modifiers near the words they modify. So, much as I hate to destroy that delightful image you have of Lincoln wending his merry way to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope, I feel it my duty to restructure that sentence:
Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope while he was travelling from Washington to Gettysburg.
While he was travelling from Washington to Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope.
How about this one?
Flying across the island, the boy saw seagulls.
Who is this kid? Clark Kent?
Professor Jones has been writing a history of the light bulb since 1910.
That's one long-winded professor!
A Quick Test
If you have a moment to spare, have a quick look at these pairs of words and see if you know how to use each …
There are many words like these that are commonly confused (you’ll find the answers at the end of this letter).
OK ... now try these:
Do you know what’s wrong with these sentences?
(Answers at the end of this letter.)
It's Time to Improve Your Writing Skills
The writing course is offered as a digital home study course so you can learn at home, in your own time.
Whatever your needs, the tutorials will have you writing with confidence! Click the cover below to get started now.
What's in the Tutorials?
1 takes you through all the fundamentals of grammar. Learn how
to use the parts of speech: nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs,
prepositions, conjunctions and interjections. You'll soon understand when
to use the different types of pronouns (when to use 'who' and when to use
'whom'); how to avoid common errors of agreement and much more. There are
detailed explanations of the form and function of all parts of speech,
examples, exercises AND answers.
2 covers some
of the essentials of vocabulary (so you can sprinkle a few more of the
million words in our language into your conversation). Find out what NOT
to do as well as how to make the most effective use of your store of
words. You'll discover simple tips that will help you work out the meaning
of new words, so you'll never be embarrassed in company again.
3 shows you
how to put all the "bits" together, into sentences and
paragraphs, and then deals with everybody's favourite:
punctuation! Once you've worked through this Tutorial, you'll have all the
confidence you need to write perfectly punctuated sentences. The
apostrophe will hold no terror for you!
TUTORIAL 4 examines the best way to write for different audiences and purposes (and gives a few tips about spelling). You'll be surprised at the number of different styles of writing you may need in the course of one week. Learn how to master them all.
(You can see a detailed list of what's in the course here.)
ADDITIONAL SPECIALIST TUTORIALS
As well as the basic 4-part Course, there are two specialist tutorials to cater for you if you're studying OR writing for business.
Specialist Tutorial One for Students
The Student Writing Tutorial is for secondary and tertiary students and covers the essential skills of note-taking and research; writing about literature; formal essay-writing and documentation.
As a student you know that 80% of your exams depend on your written work - regardless of the subject. If you're not required to write a full essay, you're asked to write paragraphs, short responses, label diagrams and so on.
More than 95% of your exams require you to read and interpret the written word in the questions and instructions.
The more competent you are at transferring your knowledge from your brain to the paper, the better your results will be. And, let's be honest here, don't you know people who have less knowledge than you have, who consistently get better results than you do simply because they know how to write their answers?
Wouldn't you like to be rewarded with the marks that you deserve?
You will be - once you have improved your writing. What's more, this is something that will help you for the rest of your life. Writing improves the more you do it.
Specialist Tutorial Two for Business
The Business Writing Tutorial is designed to assist those who need to write for business and covers writing different types of business letters, formal reports and simple business proposals.
In business on the Internet, your reputation can rise or fall on the way you write - would you trust your hard-earned money to someone who doesn't know (or doesn't care) how to write well?
Many businesses call upon their staff to submit reports - there's a simple way to set these out and it's all here for you in this course.
Do you need to write a business proposal, but haven't got a clue as to how to go about it? Relax - it's easy when you know how.
With this course of tutorials, you're in control of your learning, and it's up to you how often you work and when you work. Some people achieve their best results working in the early morning; others are night people and need time to unwind from the day's stress so they can enjoy working on their course without interruption.
What's your optimum work time?
You don't have to rush to be at your class by a certain time; you don't have to worry about baby-sitters letting you down and missing your lesson; you don't need to go out when you feel a cold coming on.
You choose the time, the place and the pace.
Sadly, enrolling in night courses is not an option for many people - there are too many risks involved in being out alone at night.
Cars can break down, taxis can disappear when you need them and you can miss buses and trains.
If you can't go out to study, what's the answer?
Learn at home!
What could be easier than studying in the comfort and safety of your own home?
These tutorials are easy to follow and show you, step by step, how to use language correctly.
You don't have to wait to sign up at college or night school. You don't have to wait for snail mail. You don't have to wait around for a tutor to come to your place.
What Makes These Tutorials Different?
You WILL find that the whole course is set out to lead you carefully through each aspect of writing, so you have the skills to write well, whatever the occasion.
The tutorials are based on methods developed in the classroom during a twenty-year teaching career.
They've been used successfully with students of all ages, of all abilities and from all backgrounds.
Regardless of your present situation and needs, you'll soon be able to present a professional image with your writing.
N.B. Look for the Full Writing Course and save when you order all three tutorials ...
Why Should You Believe Me?
The information and techniques in these writing tutorials are the
result of more than twenty years I spent in the classroom teaching High
School English and History.
Since 1998, I've written and produced a weekly online newsletter that has over 15,000 subscribers from every continent (except Antarctica). The newsletter receives a constant flow of testimonials from appreciative subscribers, you can read some of them here.
I’m confident you’ll improve your writing skills with these tutorials, so you can write well - whatever the occasion!
If you have any questions about any aspect of the course, click the link below to email me now.
P.S. Remember, you only get one chance to make a good first impression. Don't let your writing let you down. Take that first step now to improve your writing skills and receive those three great bonuses to help you put your new writing skills to work!
P.P.S If you don't order your writing tutorials now, when will you learn how to avoid those embarrassing mistakes in your writing?
P.P.P.S. I'm confident you'll improve your writing as a result to these tutorials, but if for any reason you decide that they're not right for you, just let me know and I'll refund your full purchase price. And this guarantee lasts for twelve months after you purchase the course. So you have absolutely nothing to lose.
This is a no-risk opportunity for you to get the skills you must have to succeed in the highly competitive 21st century world!
Answers to Quiz
1. Lavinia blushed when she recalled the gaffe she’d made in curtseying to the waiter when she mistook him for the prince. (A gaffe is a social blunder; a gaff is a hook used to lift fish out of the water etc)
2. The guerilla forces halted the enemy's advances. (Guerilla refers to an irregular armed force that fights a stronger force by sabotage and harassment; a gorilla is a member of the ape family … the best known is the fictional King Kong!)
3. Vacation time had arrived at last. (Vacation is a holiday; vocation refers to a calling usually to religious service.)
4. She was afraid she was going to lose her purse. (Lose means to misplace something; loose means not tight fitting or not bound or fastened together.)
5. Buy your stationery supplies before the price goes up. (Stationery refers to paper, envelopes and also now pens, pencils and other writing and printing supplies; stationary means standing still.)
1. There's lots of animals at the zoo.
Animals is a plural noun - there are two or more animals under discussion here, so the VERB in the sentence must (absolutely MUST) agree with the subject.
There's is a contraction of two words - there and is.
Is is the singular form of the verb, are is the plural; so the sentence should read:
There are lots of animals at the zoo.
Actually, it would be much better to choose another word for lots, since this is a pretty boring word (a bit like nice). Many would be a better choice.
There are many animals at the zoo.
That looks better.
2. He's been laying on the beach all day.
Well, for a start, he's going to get sunburned and run the risk of skin cancer, but if he's so keen on getting a tan, who are we to interfere?
Secondly, he's one weird puppy ... laying is what chooks (hens) do, they lay eggs; people can lie on the beach, but laying ... hmmm. So this sentence should read:
He's been lying on the beach every day of his holiday.
3. She managed to buy the three last tickets for the concert.
Lucky girl - she's done the impossible because there can only ever be ONE last anything; she may well have bought the last three tickets, but not the three last tickets. So this sentence should read:
She managed to buy the last three tickets for the concert.
4. You’ll get bargains everyday at this store!
You may well get bargains every day you go to the store, and they may be on everyday items, but you won’t get bargains everyday.
Every refers to each and all members of a group without exception; everyday means ordinary or commonplace.