Historical Events with a Religious Flavour

(compiled by Anders Henriksson)

The following are from a collection of kids' responses to something or other:

Christianity was just another mystery cult until Jesus was born. The mother of Jesus was Mary, who was different from other women because of her immaculate contraption.

Eventually Christians started the new religion with sayings like, "the mice shall inherit the earth." Later Christians fortunately abandoned this idea.

The Reformation happened when German nobles resented the idea that tithes were going to Papal France or the Pope thus enriching Catholic coiffures.

The Catholic church sold indulgences as a form of remission control. Luther was into reorientation mutation.  An angry Martin Luther nailed ninety-five theocrats to a church door. The Pope's response was to declare Luther hereditary.

John Calvin Klein translated the Bible into American so the people of Geneva could read it.

Calvinists were the only ones who believed in pre-detonation. It is not surprising that their preaching consisted mainly of dogmatic explosions.

Most Prodesants objected to holy communication.

Calvin was born a generation after Luther and is seen as one of Luther's greatest predecessors.  He accepted all Luther's ideas except that of birth.

St. Teresa of Avila was a carmelized nun.

Philip II tried to force religious monotony in his empire.

Henry Bourbon married Edict of Nantes and became King of France with the promise to reconstipate the country to Catholicism.

Henry VIII survived an assault from the Papal bull.

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