The Write Way

Friday 25 March 2011

The Name Game

Greetings,

It must be an age thing, but the Love of My Life and I seem to spend a great deal of our time these days playing the Name Game. It goes something like this:

Me: Doesn't that fellow over there look like the actor in that film we saw last month?

LoML: Which one?

Me: The chap sitting reading the paper with his back to the view ...

LoML: No. Which film?

Me: Oh ... the one with that actor we always get mixed up with Wostsisname.

LoML: (silence)

Me: Oh ... you know who I mean. It's a short first name and longer last name ... There's a P in it somewhere.

LoML: Al Pacino ...

Me: That's it! Now I know why I married you (smooch).

LoML: (silence)

Me: Who's the one we always get him mixed up with? The first name has two syllables and it's an unusual last name .. (and then I start going through the alphabet) Alan, Brendon, Colin ... Peter, Quentin, Roger ... No, not Roger, but R sounds right ... Raymond, Richard ... Robert? Yes Robert! Robert de Niro! (Sighing with satisfaction.)

LoMl: Right ... Why did we want to remember Robert de Niro?

Me: Umm ...

It's a wonderful way to while away the hours -- especially on long trips. We spend much of our time, when driving long distances, in conversations that begin, "What was the name of that woman who used to live next door to us when we were first married?" Such an opener can keep us happily entertained for 100+ kilometres!

I can't tell you the amount of times we've had to resort to the Alphabet Trick ... but it always seems to work -- unlike that jarring use of "amount," when we all know it should have been "number."

It's very simple really, and I don't know why so many people -- who should know better -- get it wrong so many times ... Follow closely, Boys and Girls:

You use amount words to refer to quantities of things that are measured in bulk, and number words to refer to things that can be counted. 

You can have a LITTLE water left in the dam, with a FEW ducks floating on it.

LESS refers to QUANTITY (a mass of something): There is LESS water in the dam now.

FEWER refers to NUMBER (something that can be counted ... yes, I know it's obvious... now): There are FEWER ducks on the dam this year. (Because you can count them.)

MUCH refers to QUANTITY: There is MUCH to do after the recent disasters. (All we know is that there is a great amount of work to be done.)

MANY refers to NUMBER: MANY people have offered to help. (You can count the exact number.)

This week's Little Something Extra has another excellent resource for all of us who respect the language and want to look after it ... it has something to do with Greengrocers. No, that's all I'm saying at the moment. You'll just have to see for yourself.

And just in time for the weekend ... The US Navy Safety Center once issued these words of warning -- it wouldn't hurt to commit them to memory:

"... sometimes you have to do something a little out of the ordinary to get the job done. But every time you're tempted to do so, ask yourself this simple question: "What is the worst thing that could happen to me if I do this?"

"When your answer comes back with words in it like "maimed" or "destroyed" or "broken" or "drowned" or "wrecked" or "arrested" or "dead" or "burned" or "infected," do something else. And don't stop asking the question."

This week's quiz:

Match up the words and definitions: nexus, eulogy, fulsome, calumny, petrous, idyll, veritably, malleable, harangue, penury

Here's a touching little tale ...

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea...

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said, pointing to the bowl, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.

'Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter?'

Last week's quiz:

serotonin, acetylcholine, sulcus, cerebellum, hippocampus, amygdala, glia, soma, ventricles, hypothalmus

1. cells of your brain that are not neurons or blood vessel cells; help to hold the rest of your brain cells together - GLIA

2. neurotransmitter that is involved in mood (such as helping you to feel happy), sleep, mental health, blood pressure and heartbeat - SEROTONIN

3. located in the back of the brain, this is a busy switching station; receives messages from most of the muscles and joints in your body; communicates with the other parts of the brain, and then sends messages about movement and balance back to your body; also very active in learned skills, such as riding a bike - CEREBELLUM

4. neurotransmitter involved in regulating muscles, memory, mood, sleep, and organs (like the heart) - ACETYLCHOLINE

5. deep crease between the ridges of your cerebral cortex - SULCUS

6. neuron's main cellular space, containing the cytoplasm that surrounds the nucleus and extends into the dendrites and axons - SOMA

7. hollow spaces in your brain that are filled with cerebrospinal fluid - VENTRICLES

8. almond-shaped cluster of small structures near the limbic region; plays a key role in regulating emotions like anger, fear, love, and sadness - AMYGDALA

9. thumb-sized region deep in the middle of the brain that monitors the body's internal functions and helps regulate things like hunger, thirst, body temperature, and hormones - HYPOTHALMUS

10. structure in the limbic region that helps to store and process memories, and then helps to find them when you want to remember something; can also affect emotions - HIPPOCAMPUS

And a story about persistence:

A zookeeper wanted to get some extra animals for his zoo, so he decided to compose a letter. The only problem was that he didn't know the plural of 'Mongoose'.

He started the letter: "To whom it may concern, I need two Mongeese."

No, that won't work, he thought, and tried again: "To whom it may concern, I need two Mongooses." Is that right?

Finally, he got an idea: "To whom it may concern, I need a Mongoose, and while you're at it, send me another one."

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A Little Something Extra

How many is a few, several, lots? Find out here

And this is for all of us who want to Get it Right!

"The ‘Greengrocer’s apostrophe’ is a term used to describe the incorrect grammatical practice of adding an apostrophe and an ‘s’ to the end of a singular noun to make a plural – often seen on the handwritten signs in greengrocers' shops. It makes an interesting title, but this blog is about much more than incorrectly used apostrophes. Tautologies, non sequiturs, oxymorons, ugly neologisms, Americanisms, management-speak, bureaucratic drivel, political waffle, academic nonsense, grammatical absurdities or just plain old illiteracy – this blog takes a shot at them all, and explains why they’re wrong."

Click to visit here

Some safety tips from the US Navy Safety website here. Many of these could be the basis for an entire novel, some would make excellent short stories or articles.

Oxymoron of the week: Almost done

Word of the week: Guttler (n) one who eats greedily or voraciously

And I'm sure you'll come across one of these at some stage! The word comes from the same origin as "gut" ... the Old English guttas meaning 'to pour.'

This week's Latin phrase will keep you on your toes over the weekend:

Magnus frater spectat te!

[MAG-noos FRAH-ter SPEK-taht TAY!]

(Big Brother is watching you!)