19 February 2010

Faster than a Speeding Trolley; Able to Calculate Unit Prices in a Single Thought ... It's Super-Shopper!

Greetings,

The Love of My Life and I were doing our grocery shopping together last week, wandering through the deli aisle, when I was transported back to the 80s in one of those Twilight Zone Moments. I think it must have been looking at the packets of Philly cheese that caused it, because before I knew it, my little grey cells were conducting a frantic search through the Memory Banks for anything associated with cream cheese ...

Top of the search results was one of the recipes from the 80s that used to be a staple at our dinner parties. It's a savoury slice that's perfect as an entrée on hot summer evenings (apologies to those of you still freezing!) It consists of layers of cream cheese flavoured with orange juice, and spears of asparagus all sandwiched between slices of leg ham. I know, it sounds quite odd when it's written down like that, but it really is a delicious combination.

So there I was, hovering in the deli aisle, looking for the ingredients that had just popped into my head ... I knew we still had a couple of oranges on our tree at home, I had tins of asparagus in the pantry, (this is one dish where fresh asparagus doesn't work as well as the tinned variety), I'd found the Philly, but I still had to track down the ham ...

The LoML helpfully reached for a small pack of ready-sliced ham, just the right amount for our dish. It was on special, too (always a Good Thing in this tough economic climate), but before I added it to our trolley, I checked the unit price (see previous comment re t. e. c.). The ham was reduced to $2.98 a pack and contained 100 grams, so that made it $29.80 a kilo. Hmmm ... This was a situation that called for Super-Shopper!

Doing my best to ignore the melodramatic rolling of eyes, heart-felt sighs and shrugging shoulders of the LoML, I retraced my steps to the deli counter (as opposed to the deli aisle) which was, of course, on the opposite side of the supermarket. There, I searched the display cases for their ham, found what I was looking for and purchased a couple of slices of tasty-looking leg ham off the bone.

When I tossed it gaily into the trolley, the LoML turned his head sideways so he could read the price ... Then he bent over the trolley, picked up the parcel of ham, examined the label closely and gave one of those husbandly groans that we all know too well, don't we girls?

Raising my eyes quizzically, I smiled at him as he pointed to the total price ... "This cost $9.56," he said.

"Mmm?" I countered.

"The other packet was $2.98 ... and we've come back here and paid $9.56!"

"Ah," says I, "but the small packet worked out to be $29.80 a kilo, and this is only $25.00 a kilo."

"But, you just spent nearly four times as much as you were going to and ..." he began to expostulate.

Knowing he would never understand, I cut him off quickly and suggested he go ahead and order a couple of coffees at one of our regular haunts while I finished the shopping.

I know all the ladies can see the fine logic in my purchase decision, even though those of you with dangly bits may be wishing for coffee about now. What can I say? It's a girl-thing, isn't it?

Fortunately, the supermarket and coffee shop are in close proximity, so ...

You're absolutely right!

Proximity means "the state, quality, sense or fact of being near or next; closeness; nearness in place, time, order, occurrence or relation," so it's a bit redundant to be in "close" proximity to anything. The word comes from the Latin proximitās meaning 'nearness, vicinity.'

Another little problem solved!

And did you hear about the woman who was in labour with her first child?

Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! CAN'T!"

"Doctor, what's wrong with my wife!" said her husband.

"It's perfectly normal," the doctor explained, "she's just having contractions."

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This week's quiz:

How familiar are you with where we shop?

Match up the terms:

arcade, galleria, millinery, mall, kiosk, department store, haberdashery, charcuterie, mercery, patisserie

1. a large retail store carrying a wide variety of merchandise and organised into various departments for sales and administrative purposes

2. a glass-roofed mall or mall courtyard, derived from the European glass-vaulted Victorian-era shopping arcades, especially the design of the Vittorio Emanuele II (built 1867) in Milan, Italy 

3. a store where pork products, as hams, sausages, and pâtés are sold

4. a semi-permanent booth placed in pedestrian areas of a shopping centre and used to sell small items or to offer specific services, such as jewellery repair

5. a type of enclosed urban shopping centre popular in the 19th century, typically with an arched glass roof and two rows of shops either side of a pedestrian passageway, which often connected two parallel streets

6. a retail dealer in men's wear, as shirts, ties, gloves, socks, and hats; a dealer in small wares and notions

7. a shop where pastry, esp. French pastry, is made and sold

8. shopping centre located within a city, the largest of which may be on several levels with adjacent multi-level parking

9. place where women's hats and other articles are made or sold

10. where textile fabrics, especially silks, are sold ; dry-goods

A woman in a grocery store happens upon a grandfather and his poorly behaved 3-year-old grandson.

It's obvious to her that Gramps has his hands full with the child screaming for lollies in the lolly aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; same for fruit, cereal and ice-cream in their respective aisles.

Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, Dan, we won't be long ... easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears Gramps calmly say, "It's okay, Dan, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Gramps again in a controlled voice is says, "Dan, Dan, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, Danny Boy."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where Gramps is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. "You know, sir, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. Dan is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks, lady," said Gramps, "But I'm Dan ... the little brat's name is Timmy."

Last week's quiz:

1. located on south side of the choir in a church; pertaining to a dean or deanery - DECANAL

2. instrument for measuring moment when an object passes a meridian - DIPLEIDOSCOPE It consists of two mirrors and a plane glass disposed in the form of a prism, so that, by the reflections of the sun's rays from their surfaces, two images are presented to the eye, moving in opposite directions, and coinciding at the instant the sun's center is on the meridian.

3. listening to sounds within the body - AUSCULTATION

4. to blind by putting red-hot copper basin near the eyes - ABACINATE This one comes from Latin (where else?). ab off + bacinus a basin. OK ... you work that one out!

5. inability to understand data presented to the senses - ACATAMATHESIA. This one, like sop many medical terms, comes from the Greek katamathesis, a thorough knowledge or understanding

6. growing in dry places - XERARCH

7. calcium concretion in inside of vertebrate's ear to aid in equilibrium - OTOLITH

8. killing of tapeworms - TAENIACIDE

9. part of typeface letter that sticks out beyond its body - KERN. Interestingly, kern is also a word used to describe a loutish person or a medieval Scottish or Irish foot soldier, according to dictionary.com.

10. something that strongly attracts attention and admiration; something that provides guidance (as Polaris guides mariners) - CYNOSURE. This one comes from the Greek kunosaoura, dog's tail, Ursa Minor. 

A Little Something Extra

This is not the 80s, but the 70s are close enough ... some classic recipes from the decade fashion forgot here

And if you're thinking of setting a novel or story in the 80s but have forgotten what it was like back then ... fear no more! There's much more than you want to remember about the decade of Big Hair here.

Oxymoron of the week: fashionable 80s

Word of the week: Lentiginous (adj) covered in freckles (From the Latin  from lentigo meaning (what else) 'a freckle,' which the Romans got from their word lens  'a lentil' 

Before we get to the Latin phrase, here's a little tale for those of you who have vague recollections of spending some time sitting up the back of the class while the teacher rattled on in Latin ... Well, some of it must have stuck in your little grey cells, you get a chuckle from the Latin phrases every now and then, don't you?

A gentleman, having ordered a meal at a fine London restaurant, decides that he'd like some wine to accompany his meal, so he summons the sommelier and asks for a bottle of hock.

"Hock, sir?" asks the sommelier.

"Yes, hock, man. You know, hic, haec, hoc, hunc, hanc, hoc etc."

"Hmm ... very good, sir."

The food arrives, but without the wine, which perturbs the gentleman slightly as he's accustomed to a high quality of service. He begins to dine and at the next opportunity he beckons the sommelier again.

"Didn't I order a bottle of hock?"

"Yes sir, but then you declined it."

Groan. Ah yes, it's all coming back to you now, isn't it? Repeat after me, "Dominus, domine, dominum ... Amo, amas, amant ..."

To finish, this week's Latin phrase is for those of us who ... Well, let's say it in Latin. All together now:

Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert.

[RAY WAY-rah KAH-rah MAY-ah NEEL RAY-feyrt]

(Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.)

Did you know that you can have your very own Latin reminders? How about undies proclaiming, Bene est rex esse? (It's good to be king) Or a shopping bag that warns, Emptrix nata sum (Born to shop)? Click here for these and more: http://www.cafepress.com/write101 

Recommend this page to other writers by clicking the Recommend it! button below, then see what pages others are recommending here.

Kind regards,

Jennifer

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