Cyclone Neville?

We're in the midst of our cyclone season here in Australia and have just had two wandering back and forth across the coast; these were Cyclone Olga and ... wait for it ... Cyclone Neville. Now, is it just me, or does the name 'Neville' seem more at home on the lapel badge of a chap behind the counter in a bank or on the hat of a person attending a Trekky convention?

How can you expect people to take the storm warnings seriously when it's Neville we're sheltering from?

Have you ever wondered why it is that we give our cyclones and hurricanes names? (Of course you have!) Apparently we have an Aussie meteorologist to thank (or blame) for the custom.

I'm not surprised to learn that it was a Queenslander, called Clement Wragge, who first started this in a semi-official way. Wragge was by all accounts a bit of a character, and he had very strong political views. Like many of us, he railed against the current pollies in his day, but he hit upon a wonderful way to express his views about them in a not-so subtle way -- he started naming all the cyclones after politicians.

He'd earlier started giving cyclones the names of animals to try to help people in his department (and members of the public) keep track of old cyclones returning and new ones developing. Presumably he gave them names like "bull" and "shark" and "eagle," and not "butterfly," "bilby" or "earthworm." But he soon realised the potential for safe political comment and began the practice of attaching the politicians' names to systems of hot air that soon flopped, blustering storms that caused damage and weather cells that promised action but failed to deliver.

The custom of giving destructive weather systems women's names originated in WW2, when US military meteorologists called tropical cyclones after their girlfriends and wives ... Not sure how well that would have gone down when they got back home, but there you are ...

By 1979, we'd got so politically correct that men's names were also included, which brings us to Cyclone Neville and his ilk.

However, despite the inaptness of some of the names we've given (or are going to give) our cyclones in the Australian region (I'm looking at a list that contains the following: Cathy, Hamish, Stan and Trevor ... I mean ... Trevor!) they're a whole lot easier to remember (which is the entire point of the exercise, wouldn't you say?) than some of the new names foisted upon those in the Northwest Pacific basin.

Starting in January 2000, these storm systems were being given Asian names that were contributed by members of "all the nations and territories that are members of the WMO's (World Meteorological Organisation's) Typhoon Committee."

Previously, meteorological departments came up with their lists (neatly organised in alphabetical order, so you knew that Cyclone Neville was a later storm than Cyclone Laurence) and submitted them, but this new system has two "refinements:"

1. The names by and large are not personal names. There are a few men's and women's names, but the majority are names of flowers, animals, birds, trees or even foods, etc, while some are descriptive adjectives.

2. The names will not be allotted in alphabetical order, but are arranged by contributing nation with the countries being alphabetised.

Dearie me ... We've chatted about this before, haven't we? And we all agree that the whole point of language is to facilitate communication ... to make it easy to understand each other. So wouldn't you think that world organisations would be looking to simplify something as important as storm warnings, rather than doing their best to complicate and discombobulate matters?

It means "to confuse or disconcert; upset; frustrate," and we have our 'Murkin cousins to thank for this lovely word. dictionary.com explains that it originated some time between 1825 and 1835, and is a "fanciful alteration of discompose or discomfort."

This week's Little Something Extra has lots of fascinating information about the weather, including lists of all the names of cyclones and hurricanes from each region. (You'll see what I mean about being discombobulated!)

Not only is weather the number one topic of conversation among we carbon-based bipeds, it's also a necessary element in any work of fiction. It sets the mood, creates atmosphere, can affect your characters' actions and can even become a character in itself. Think what Thomas Hardy's novels would be like without those brooding moors and fogs.

If you fancy non-fiction, then the weather provides endless topics to write about, and you'll always be sure to find an audience wanting to find out more about the extremes!

For those of us who thought rain was just rain ... it's time to think again. Here's a handy reference so you can speak with authority about that wet stuff that droppeth from the sky ...

anticyclone, foehn, supercell, isobars, katabatic, advection, geostrophic, cyclone, front, relative humidity

2. atmospheric circulations that rotate clockwise in the southern hemisphere, and anti-clockwise in the northern hemisphere; areas of lower pressure and generally associated with stronger winds, unsettled conditions, cloudiness and rainfall

4. the ratio of the amount of moisture actually in the air to the maximum amount of moisture which the air could hold at the same temperature; is normally expressed as a percentage

5. atmospheric circulations that rotate anti-clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere; these are areas of higher pressure and are generally associated with lighter winds and fine and settled conditions

6. persistent, single, intense updraught and downdraught coexisting in a thunderstorm

8. sideways movement of air in the lower atmosphere due to the differences in air pressure (commonly called wind); process of transfer of air mass properties by the velocity field of the atmosphere

10. downslope wind caused by greater air density on the slope than at some distance, horizontally from it; associated with surface cooling of the slope

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

A man went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but he couldn't find any.

"Doctor, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."

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annual, tuber, mulch, bolting, leaching, offset, perennial, bracts, hybrid, node

1. small, complete plant produced by many bulbous plants; easily removed from the original bulb and planted on to for another plant - OFFSET

2. running to seed' or flowering before you want; often will ruin the vegetable you are trying to grow - BOLTING

3. leaves that develop just below the flowers on some plants - BRACTS

4. swollen part of a plant underground that stores energy - TUBER

5. plant that lives for one year only; includes most vegetables - ANNUAL

6. a plant or variety that has been developed by interbreeding two or more varieties, species or genera - HYBRID

7. the point where leaf growth begins - NODE

8. layer of material placed over the ground, for the purposes of feeding the soil, conserving moisture, stopping weeds germinating, keeping the soil warm or protecting from heavy rain - MULCH

9. plants that live for more than two years; vegetables that are left the same spot for many years - PERENNIAL

10. process whereby a substance, such as fertiliser, dissolves and is carried away by rain water - LEACHING

Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Some great little diagrams that help explain how and why the different weather patterns develop here

And if you've wondered just why the world's weather does what it does ... "El Niño refers to a sequence of changes in circulations across the Pacific Ocean and Indonesian archipelago when warming is particularly strong (on average every three to eight years). Characteristic changes in the atmosphere accompany those in the ocean, resulting in altered weather patterns across the globe" here

Word of the week: Climate (n) the atmospheric conditions for a long period of time, and generally refers to the normal or mean course of the weather; includes the future expectation of long term weather, in the order of weeks, months or years ahead

And a Latin phrase that those of you in the Northern Hemisphere may need to file away for a few more months ...

Did you know that you can have your very own Latin reminders? How about undies proclaiming, Bene est rex esse? (It's good to be king) Or a shopping bag that warns, Emptrix nata sum (Born to shop)? Click here for these and more: http://www.cafepress.com/write101

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