25 September 2009

 Brrrooom! Brroooom!

Greetings,

We were sitting on our front verandah, the Love of My Life and I, watching a couple of boats sailing lazily across the Bay to the marina. It was Saturday afternoon, so the sun was most definitely over the yardarm, and we were indulging in the family ritual of drinkies and just chatting about inconsequential things as people do at this lovely time of the weekend, when we were disturbed by the approaching burble and roar of a car engine.

"Oh no," we thought, "the lads are starting early."

And sure enough, as we turned towards the sound, there roared into view the front end of a hotted-up car. I'm sure you have them around your way (and if you don't, please tell me where you live so we can move there, too).

It had all the requisite features of the species, to wit, more side skirts and rear aprons than you'd find in your Granny's kitchen, front and rear spoilers, a lowered suspension so low the car would have trouble getting over painted double lines on the road, wide (wide, wide) mag wheels that cost more than some cars, and a thwump-thwump sound system that could be heard across the Bay.

This vehicle came to a heart-stopping halt when it almost ran into the rear of another car making a right-hand turn into a side street further down the road, and it was this that gave us our opportunity to examine more closely the second car that had been hot on the heels of the first. It, too, was slung low to the road and decked out in all its wings and aprons and eyebrows and whatever else could be attached, plus what we'd failed to notice on the first car ... a long white ribbon strung across the bonnet from the driver's window to the nose and back to the passenger's window.

The LoML and I looked at each other ... It couldn't be ... could it?

Surely this wasn't a wedding car?

But as the drivers of the initial two cars engaged in a frank and earnest exchange of opinions about the respective merits of each other's driving skills and parental marital state and suggested ingenious uses for various parts of their vehicles, we observed the occupants of the second car, which was poised momentarily in our line of vision as the driver revved the engine and spun the wheels while holding the parking brake in a vice-like grip ... "laying down some rubber," I believe is the expression.

The driver was as described, and in the back seat sat a young woman looking somewhat less than relaxed.

This was obviously her Big Day and to say that the bride wore white would be an understatement, for her dress and veil were white, her face was white, her knuckles were white, and I'm sure we could see the whites of her eyes from where we sat.

I really hope her day improved ...

Have you ever wondered about that expression regarding the whites of the eyes?

It's usually used in association with an admonition not to shoot until you see the whites of the eyes and was first used (so we're told) "at Dettingen, Flanders, on June 27, 1743, (when) Lieutenant-Colonel Sir Andrew Agnew of Lochnaw (5th Baronet) gave to the men or his regiment, the 21st of Foot, an order from which this saying is derived.

"A man of spirit even for the times, he had earlier in the day replied to a brigade order that 'the scoundrels will never have the impudence to attack the Scots Fusiliers,' but they did.

"Formed in square, the Scots Fusiliers held a steady fire rolling along their lines and kept off the advancing French infantry.

"Sir Andrew, a resourceful and experienced officer, had in training practised a novel battle drill with the men in his square, should they be attacked by cavalry. At last, the opportunity to spring this trap appeared when the square was attacked by enemy cuirassiers. Instead of employing the orthodox tactic of seeing them off by standing firm and taking the charge on muskets and pikes, Sir Andrew gave orders that, as the cavalry approached the front line, the two centre companies should divide from the centre and fall back from the outer markers. This novel approach allowed the cavalry to charge through a lane with the Fusiliers facing inwards. At this point Sir Andrew gave the command: 'Dinna fire till ye can see the whites of their e' en . . . if ye dinna kill them they'll kill you.'

"The French, as they rode through this lane of soldiers, were subjected to a withering crossfire and destroyed. Later in the day King George II, who commanded the Army but was a little out of his depth, rode up and said: 'So, Sir Andrew, I hear the cuirassiers rode through your regiment today.'

"'Ou, ay, yer Majestee,'  was the reply, 'but they didna get oot again.'" (Source)

The colour white figures in many of our popular expressions; here are a few for starters (I'm sure you can think of lots more yourself):

A white elephant -- White (albino) elephants were regarded as holy in ancient times in Thailand and other Asian countries. Keeping a white elephant was a very expensive undertaking, since the owner had to provide the elephant with special food and provide access for people who wanted to worship it. If a Thai King became dissatisfied with a subordinate, he would give him a white elephant. The gift would, in most cases, ruin the recipient.

References to Indian and Thai veneration of white elephants dates back to at least the early 17th century. The first reference in English to the idiomatic meaning of the term 'white elephant' comes in 1851 G. E. Jewbury's Letters, 1892: "His services are like so many white elephants, of which nobody can make use, and yet that drain one's gratitude, if indeed one does not feel bankrupt." (Source)

A little white lie -- this has been used since the 1700s, and the OED records a use from 1741, when the contrast between white lies and black lies was examined.

White has always been the colour of innocence, goodness and purity, so calling a lie "white" separates it from the darker lies that are told to cause hurt or damage.

White-shoe brigade -- this one dates from the 70s when the Spivs dressed in white shoes as they sold unsuspecting punters blocks of land that went underwater at high tide etc.

And did you hear about the robber who broke into the bank, pointed a gun to the cashier and said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be geography!"

The cashier laughed and said, "Don't you mean 'history'?"

The robber answered, "Don't change the subject."

This week's quiz:

Since we took a quick look at some hotted-up cars this week, let's see what you know about all their bits ...

aerodynamics, side skirts, deck, rocker panels, wings, spoiler, ram air hood, wiper cowl, roll pan, fender flares

1. smoothes the transition from the hood to the windshield

2. used in place of the rear bumper

3. study of the motion of gasses (in this case air), how this motion effects the movement of an object, and how the shape of the object affects airflow

4. forces cool air into the engine compartment

5. taller than a factory-style spoiler, these can grab a little more of the air passing by the vehicle; wider, angled design also does more to redirect wind resistance and generate down-force

6. extended ground effects look

7. the lowest panel along the side of the vehicle in between the two wheel wells; three or four-inch piece of metal which runs along the bottom of the vehicle’s body underneath the doors

8. portion of a spoiler or wing that's typically angled to catch passing air; usually run parallel to the trunk lid, eliminating drag and down-force

9. add to tyre coverage; give extra protection from road debris

10. changes the aerodynamics of a vehicle, disrupting the airflow over the car; adds more downward pressure to the back end, tightening turns and reducing hazardous lift

"What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man travelling in her compartment.

"I'm a naval surgeon," he replied.

"Goodness!" said the lady, "How you doctors specialise these days."

Last week's quiz:

deer, cat, eagle, rabbit, deer, goat, crow, fish, donkey, snake, cattle, pig, crab, lion, dog, fox, wolf, horse

A Little Something Extra

"The sun is over the yardarm": this is a popular expression in our little corner of the world, and it means (to us) that it's time for a quiet drink or two and something to nibble, but do you know why we use this term?

"This expression is thought to have its origins in an officers' custom aboard ships sailing in the north Atlantic. In those latitudes, the sun would rise above the upper yards - the horizontal spars mounted on the masts, from which square sails were hung - around 11 a.m. Since this coincided with the forenoon 'stand easy,' officers would take advantage of the break to go below for their first tot of spirits for the day. The expression washed ashore where the sun appears over the figurative yardarm a bit later in the day, generally after 5 p.m., and the end of the workday."  (Source)

How to draw a boat (also shows where the yardarm is) here

How to rig a yacht (Well, you never know when you might need this for a novel or article ...) here

Some basic sailing techniques here

The Holden Monaro is a vehicle of choice for many who want to hot-up their cars Down Under here

Or a Nissan Skyline (like my Dad bought new in 1982, and which my daughter is still driving!) here

Word of the week: Redline  Maximum safe revolutions per minute recommended by the manufacturer; usually indicated by a red marking on the tachometer

Oxymoron of the week: safe muscle car

This week's Latin phrase is for the drivers of our hotted-up cars ... I've kept it short ...

Absum!

[AHB-soom]

(I'm outta here!)