28 August 2009

Surfing the Skies

Greetings,

I'm not sure if other places have a show like this, or if Australia All Over is a peculiarly Antipodean phenomenon, but our national radio station broadcasts this program every Sunday morning, and it's only recently become required listening for us, as it has for millions of others over the past 25 years.

Its host during these 25 years, Ian McNamara (Macca), often takes off in what is dubbed the POB-mobile (the Personal Outside Broadcast van) to chat to people in far-flung reaches of our Wide Brown Land. He's currently on the last legs of his Say G'Day Tour for this year, and he's been to some isolated places and met some remarkable people. (Source)

One week, he was in the Gulf town of Karumba, the barramundi capital of the north! This town was once one of those isolated places where only the bushies and drovers went, but it's recently been discovered by the Grey Nomads and now in winter (the Dry season) it's standing room only.

Macca takes the POB-mobile to the people, and word soon filters through and crowds gather to sit around a campfire, boil the billy and share a yarn with him. And that's basically the show. During his broadcast from Karumba, he mentioned how when he was an hour or so out of town, he remarked to his co-driver that they'd find the caravan park and check in for the night.

This was greeted by peals of laughter from his fellow revellers, and when he inquired why they were laughing, he was told that most people there have to book from year to year or miss out. Now, Karumba isn't some dinky little beach a few kilometres from the city, it's a remote settlement of 600 permanent residents that's 2155 km from Brisbane, the nearest capital, but every year around 100,000 tourists make the trek north and stay for the winter. (Have a look on the map and see just how far Karumba is from everything.)

Another time, Macca was talking with a glider pilot who surfs the skies by riding the Morning Glory above the little Outback town of Burketown. The MG is like a giant cloud-wave in the sky that glider pilots can surf in the same way surfers ride the big waves. "The Morning Glory is essentially a gigantic cloud that moves in one direction with the relentless motion of a huge combine harvester that appears to be rotating backwards. In length it can stretch over 1000km from end to end - the distance from Sydney to Melbourne - and travel at speeds up to 60km/hr. The cloud itself can be as tall as one kilometre from bottom to top.

"...for the past decade or so, a handful of brave - some would say crazy - people have come to Burketown to 'surf' or 'soar' these massive cloud-waves. Perched inside tiny fragile motor gliders and hang gliders with their engines turned off, these thrill-seekers willingly expose themselves and their craft to forces which could crush them to fragments in an instant. Some have achieved speeds of up to 150km/hr without the use of the motor, poised at the leading edge of the Glory to catch updraughts which can thrust them 3000 metres up into the sky." (Source)

You can listen to these conversations (and more) here.

There are some fabulous photos of the Morning Glory on the site ... what an experience that would be!

The show revolves around calls from people all over the country phoning in for a chat, as Macca recalls, "One time the trains weren’t getting over the Adelaide Hills because there was a plague of millipedes. They get all over the lines and they squash them and the wheels slip so the train rolls backwards. It’s not earth-shattering, it’s just interesting. That usually happens every year and somebody rings me and an entomologist will ring and say, ‘You know why, it’s the breeding season,’ and a train driver will ring me and you can hear the wheels spinning, ‘We’re stuck here Macca’ or ‘I can’t stop because the millipedes are on the line.’"

Those millipedes will make a train run slow every time!

Oh yes! No millipedes on you. The word 'slow' should be an adverb, because it's modifying the verb 'run,' so the sentence should read: "... will make a train run slowly every time."

It doesn't matter where you are on this little blue planet of ours, you can phone in and chat with Macca: 1300 700 222 or 61 2 8333 1020 (If you do, don't forget to tell him you heard about it here!)

This week's Little Something Extra has some tips for anyone who has to speak in public -- a much more terrifying prospect than simply phoning for a chat!

And some observations ...

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

This week's quiz:

Here are some grand words to drop into the conversation every now and then:

anent, eftsoons, fain, swoopstake, abaft, yoicks, enow, avaunt, usward, froward

1. expression of surprise or excitement

2. toward us

3. in an indiscriminate manner

4. enough

5. turned away; self-willed; unreasonable; perverse; adverse

6. soon after

7. away; hence

8. toward or at the stern of a ship; further aft

9. about; concerning

10.happy; inclined; pleased

And there's no special significance in the subject matter in this next little tale ...

Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What's three times three?"

"274," was his reply.

The doctor worriedly says to the second man, "It's your turn. What's three times three?"

"Tuesday," replies the second man.

The doctor sadly says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"?

"Nine," says the third man."

"That's great!" exclaims the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Jeez, Doc, it's pretty simple," says the third man. "I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

Last week's quiz:

A Little Something Extra

"What's scarier to most Americans (or anyone) than spiders, heights, or even death? There hasn't been a horror movie made about it yet, but more than 75% of Americans surveyed report that they suffer from "glossophobia," a debilitating fear of public speaking. Statistically, far more of us claim that we would prefer death to giving a speech; even comedian Jerry Seinfeld used to joke that at a funeral, most people would rather be lying in the casket than delivering the eulogy."

Here are 4 tips to help overcome this fear of public speaking. 

And while many professional speakers emphasise the importance of the opening, many more feel that it's the last couple of minutes that can make or break you. This is because the majority of people remember most what they hear last, so you have to ensure that you build towards a climactic point that relates to the key topic of your speech.

The best advice is that you should only close once - save some of your best points for the end, then indicate by your body language, your voice intonation, your facial expression and your words, that you've finished. Don't shuffle around; don't thank everyone in sight; don't say good-bye over and over; don't fidget and then start repeating your points. Just do it and go.

For many speakers, this is the hardest part, knowing when to leave. When I was teaching, I always warned my students about the dangers of undoing all the good work they'd done in their essays by continuing to write after they'd written the conclusion. I advised them to put down their pens and sit on their hands if they were tempted to write "just another paragraph."

If you're unsure of how to get yourself off the podium before the audience hauls you down, you can always end with a humorous story. The punch line to a funny story is a dramatic way to end your speech - once you've delivered the line, there's nothing else you need to say. A friendly smile and a nod to your audience and you can leave amid their thunderous applause.

Here are some short closers you can use:

1. Once there was a little baby cabbage who said to his mother, "Mummy, I've been sitting here in this row of cabbages, just growing and growing. But I'm worried that I won't know when to stop."

"The rule to follow," said his mother, "is to quit when you're a head."

2. A small boy was stretching as high as he could to reach a door bell that was still a few inches out of his reach.

A passer-by took pity on him and picked him up so he could ring the bell. "Now what?" he said to the boy.

"I don't know about you, mister," said the little boy, "but I'm going to start running as fast as I can."

3. After listening for over an hour to a guest at a cocktail party do bird imitations, his listeners were fit to scream.

"And now," he said, "I'll imitate any bird you request. Name a bird, any bird."

From the back of the room a guest shouted, "A homing pigeon!"

Word of the week: Heterophemy (n) The unconscious saying, in speech or in writing, of something you didn't intend to say; unfortunately usually the very thing you've been thinking but shouldn't - ever - have uttered!

e.g. The new groom introducing his wife's mother, "And I'd like you to meet my murder-in-law."

A long discussion of heterophemies, Freudian slips, Malapropisms and more here.

What did the psychologist give his wife for their anniversary?

A Freudian slip.

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Oxymoron of the week: isolated holiday destination

And I hope you get to use this Latin phrase ...

Paululum sursum et dextrorsum. Aah ...

[por-LU-loom SER-soom et deks-TROR-soom. AAH]