16 November 2007

Forward Planning

Greetings,

I've just returned from one of my Slow Shopping trips and had to have a nice cup of tea and a lie down when I got home. No, not because I bought too much and had to haul an over-stuffed shopping trolley up the hill, but because of what is happening in our erstwhile quiet suburb.

You see, the Council (local government), in its infinite wisdom and at the urging of local businesses, decided to throw a motza of money at the area to tart it up a bit. So for the past 6 or 7 months, the place has resembled one of those scenes from the nightly news that show the aftermath of some terrible natural disaster or war zone.

Up have come the footpaths, the median strips and the parking spaces outside shops ... Out have come all the trees, gardens and lawn areas ... Down have come all the power poles, street lights and bus shelters.

It's all being replaced, of course, and we're getting spiffy new underground power cables, advanced trees planted on both sides of the streets and in the median strips, arty new street sculptures and ... um ... "things" built. We don't think these "things" can be shelters of any kind (even though they've been built on some of the flash new paved pedestrian areas) because their roofs are angled to ensure the maximum amount of sunlight streams in during the hottest parts of the day and the most rain during a storm.

But whatever they are, we now have two of them on this paved area, which would probably be great for outdoor dining, except it's been constructed outside the local chemist shop. 

All the footpaths were dug up in the early stages of the renovation, and flash new pebbled paving put down to replace it, with artful areas left for the planting of gardens (to replace all those that were dug up ... Remember?) Then the landscapers came along and dumped tonnes and tonnes of beautiful soil into the holes, and can we blame them if much of this spilled over the new paving? It's only dirt ... it'll wash off ...

A couple of weeks ago, we were all agog at the arrival of the mature-age trees. These are big trees, and they came on the back of huge semis. Each was swathed in hessian (that's burlap to our 'Murkin cousins ... we don't wrap our trees in "mercenaries used by England during the American Revolution"). It was fascinating watching as the crane lifted each into its position. Sadly, the workers responsible for planting these don't seem to have any real affinity with the  horticultural gods, because many of the trees were just plonked in the ground and some already are having close encounters with the overhanging awnings of shops. I can see it's all going to end in tears ...

Then along came the Power People. They had to put cables down for the new underground power, and before you shake your head, they did dig holes before the new paving went down and before the trees went in, and we all nodded at the sagacity of our Elected Leaders in being able to plan ahead like this.

But then, before the smug glow of satisfaction had even reached their ears, the Power People returned and ripped up stretches of the aforementioned flash new paving so they could connect their cables to something or other. And in doing so, they also had to dig up much of the soil that had just been dumped and disturb the trees that had just been planted.

However, the PP finally took down the above-ground lines and installed the fancy new street lights, some of which resemble nothing more than black sticks poked into the ground. I imagine this was deliberate, so they could carry through the theme of street sculptures erected next to the mystery structures on the flash paving outside the chemist shop. (Sigh ...) These rather odd objets d'art consist of a series of metal poles stuck in the ground -- they're between 1 to 3 metres high. Some are at angles, some are straight, some have bent tops, some don't.  

Hmmm ... Yes, I can see you looking askance at that comment about the height of our poles.

If something is 'between,' it has to be between a range of something AND something else. However, we could instead say something "covered a range FROM 1 TO 3 metres" and that would be fine and dandy.

This week's quiz:

Since we've spent a bit of time admiring the work going on around town, let's have a bit of a go at landscaping this week ... Match up the terms and their definitions:

champaign, exedra, folly, arboriculture, ha-ha, belvedere, espalier, festoon, hermitage, loggia

1. garden building built primarily for visual effect; a whimsical or extravagant structure built to serve as a conversation piece, lend interest to a view, commemorate a person or event, etc.; popular in England in the 18th century 

2. the art, science, technology and business of tree care 

3. garden building, often complete with a hired "hermit" to live there, calculated to raise an appreciation for contemplation in the context of nature 

4. series of fruit trees trained on a framework of lines and stakes to form a hedge 

5. gallery or arcade that is roofed but open, along the front or side of a building, and often on an upper level 

6. garland of leaves or ribbons suspended in a loop between two points 

7. a gazebo sited to command a fine view 

8. sunk fence; a ditch with one sloping side and one vertical side into which is built a retaining wall; creates a barrier for sheep, cattle and deer while allowing an unbroken view of the landscape 

9. an out-of-door seat in stone, large enough for several persons; especially one of curved form 

10. extensive tract of level open land 

And here's some excellent gardening advice for those inspired to head off to the garden this weekend: "The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes.  And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."

Last week's quiz:

filly, handicap, derby, horse, book, odds-on, hedge, gelding, hand, mare

1. covering of a bet with a second bet - HEDGE

2. a race for three-year-old horses - DERBY

3. a bet where you have to outlay more than you win - ODDS-ON (For example if a horse is two to one Odds-On, you have to outlay two dollars to win one dollar and your total collect if the horse wins is three dollars. That is made up of your two dollars and the one dollar you win.)

4. distance of four inches used to measure a horse's height from the top of the shoulder (withers) to the ground - HAND

5. female horse four-years-old or younger - FILLY

6. each horse is allocated a different weight to carry, the theory being all horses then run on a fair and equal basis - HANDICAP

7. (in racing) an un-gelded male five-years-old or older - HORSE

8. bookmaker's tally of amounts bet on each competitor and odds necessary to assure him of profit - BOOK

9. female horse five-years-old or older - MARE

10. male horse that has been cut off in his prime - GELDING

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Let's finish our stint in the garden with these 10 Laws of Gardening:

1. Nothing ever looks like it does on the seed packet.

2. Your lawn is always slightly bigger than your desire to mow it.

3. Whichever garden tool you want is always at the back of the shed.

4. The only way to ensure rain, is to give the garden a good soaking.

5. Weeds grow at precisely the rate you pull them out.

6. Autumn follows summer, winter follows autumn, drought follows planting.

7. Evergreens go a funny shade of brown in the winter.

8. The only way to guarantee some colour all year round is to buy a garden gnome.

9. However bare the lawn, grass will appear in the cracks between the patio paving stones.

10. "Annuals" mean disappointment once a year.

A Little Something Extra

You may not fancy black sticks in the ground or weird-looking sculptures for your garden, but what about having a garden that does what gardens are meant to do? 

"Creating a wildlife garden allows you take part in your larger surrounding environment. Often gardens are completely shut out from the natural landscape around it and aren't welcoming to birds and other wildlife."

Read how simple it is to add a few touches that will make your garden attractive to your local feathered and furred friends.  

Word of the week: Perfervid (adj) very fervent; extremely ardent; impassioned

What a great word to describe garden lovers! 

It comes from the Latin perfervidus, which is made up of two words: the prefix per- (thoroughly) and fervidus (boiling). 

Oxymoron of the week: quick tidy-up outside

And here's a Latin phrase for those who love to dig their toes into some real grass:

Gramen artificiosum odi!

[GRAH-mayn ahrt-ee-fee-KEE-oh-soom OH-dee]

(I hate Astroturf!)