The Write Way

7 September 2007

Desperately Seeking ...

Greetings,

Life is funny, isn't it?

I mean the way things work out really makes you wonder sometimes if we're actually part of an experiment being carried out by some sadist with a warped sense of humour. Take last week, for instance ...

There I was, happily pottering about in my kitchen when I realised I wouldn't be able to refill the natty little honey container (the one I use when we have weekend visitors) from the kilo jar of honey I'd bought the previous week at the Sunday markets ... at least not without the aid of my trusty funnel. But as I started rummaging through the drawer where I keep such infrequently used items, I remembered I hadn't been able to find the funnel since we moved into our current house back in 1999! 

Suddenly it all came flooding back, and I recalled numerous ingenious experiments conducted in the intervening years that involved sheets of rolled up cardboard and plastic, dexterous feats performed with teensy spoons and a steady hand and the resulting frustration that must have caused me to block those memories, in much the same way as women through the ages have blocked the memory of childbirth. 

(Remember how you vowed "never again!" while that mad woman in the mask was exhorting you to "Push now! Just one more push ..." and then you fell for the same old line from Him and ended up back in the same position a couple of years later? Can't remember, can you? See? I rest my case!)

So, aware at last that I was now deficient in the funnel department to the tune of one, the next day, bright and early, I wheeled out my shopping trolley, slapped on my wide-brimmed hat and sallied forth to the shops to rectify the situation while I was doing one of my regular food top-ups (I mentioned before how I now indulge in slow shopping as well as slow cooking.)

My search of the supermarket proved fruitless (or funnelless) and it was off to the Cheap Shop (one of those Bits and Pieces stores that buy things by the container-load and are a real lucky dip). And what did I find but a whole set of funnels ... all sunshiney yellow and just waiting for a new home. 

When I got back from my morning stroll a couple of hours later (you can't waste a lovely day near the waterfront ... not when you hear the siren song of the coffee calling your name), I unpacked my groceries, unwrapped my new funnels -- all three of them -- washed them in nice hot soapy water, dried them lovingly on the window sill and then opened my baking cupboard (where I'd decided to keep them). As I moved a couple of cake tins to make a spot for them, what did I find, sniggering away in the corner, but my old funnel!

Aargh!

I fulminated long and loud about the vagaries of Fate ... ("Why couldn't I have moved those tins before I bought the new funnels? Hang on ... I have moved them ... lots of times, because I use one of those tins for my banana bread ... So why didn't I see the funnel before?") These and many other such questions ran playfully through my mind as I sat on the kitchen floor surrounded with funnels of varying hues. Then I rallied, picked myself up, reached for a funnel (any funnel will do) and began to decant the honey, hoping this activity would serve to restore some ataraxia to my day ...

Pardon? 

No, I'm not being rude ...

Ataraxia is "a state of freedom from emotional disturbance and anxiety; tranquillity" and it comes from the Greek word atarák(tos) meaning 'calmness, unmoved.'

So let's all strive for more ataraxia!

But I know what you mean, it's one of those words that really doesn't sound like its meaning, isn't it? If a word is going to mean 'tranquillity' you'd expect it to have a certain mellifluous quality to it, not to sound like a few nails banging around in a tin can, which is what ataraxia always reminds me of!

'Enervate' is another word that never sounds like its meaning to me ... Say it a couple of times: "Enervate! Enervate!" It really seems as if you should be jumping out of your skin with vim and vigour, instead of becoming weaker and weaker. And crepuscular is definitely one that creates a wrong impression. It sounds quite horrible, but actually refers to a rather lovely time of day -- twilight, when the light dims and outlines soften.

However, there are other words that really (really) sound just as you'd imagine them to sound ... think of phlegm (the thick mucus secreted in the respiratory passages and discharged through the mouth, especially that occurring in the lungs and throat passages, as during a cold), feculent (full of dregs or fecal matter; foul, turbid, or muddy) and crapulent (sick from gross excess in drinking or eating).

Mmm ... coffee and cake anyone? 

But when it comes to words that really don't sound like their meanings, good old "pulchritudinous" wins every time. If you didn't know what it meant, you'd guess it had something to do with bad smells ... Well, I would ... It reminds me of "putrid," "sulphurous," "pilchards" and that sort of thing. In fact, it means quite the opposite. If a person is pulchritudinous, he or she is beautiful!

The word comes from the Latin pulchritudin meaning "beautiful, fair or handsome in shape and appearance."

This week's quiz:

Some more odd sounding words ... match 'em up:

petrichor, procrustean, bifurcation, persiflage, abderian, rasorial, gubernatorial, resipiscence, pawky, fungible

1. cunning; sly; shrewd and cunning, often in a humorous manner 

2. given to scratching the ground for food, as chickens do 

3. having returned to a saner mind; wisdom derived from severe experience; hence, repentance 

4. the scent of rain on dry earth 

5. a frivolous or flippant style of treating a subject; light, bantering talk or writing 

6. to divide or fork into two branches 

7. given to laughter; inclined to foolish or incessant merriment 

8. of or pertaining to a state governor or the office of state governor 

9. producing conformity by ruthless or arbitrary means 

10. something that is exchangeable or substitutable (often used in the plural); being something (as money or a commodity) one part or quantity of which can be substituted for another of equal value in paying a debt or settling an account 

And here's a little tale about no-one we know ... (thanks to Marvin for this) ...

A church service was in full swing, the pews were packed.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had left the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming
oblivious to the fact that the Devil was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.

"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.

"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.

"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.

"Yep," was the calm reply.

"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.

"Nope," said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."

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Last week's quiz:

If you're planning a spot of home renovation this weekend here are some words you may need:

caulking, batten, casement, aggregate, caisson, mullion, balustrade, truss, cornice, soffit

1. area below the eaves and overhangs - SOFFIT

2. rail, posts and vertical posts along the edge of a stairway or elevated walkway - BALUSTRADE

3. engineered and manufactured roof support member with "zig-zag" framing members; does the same job as a rafter but is designed to have a longer span than a rafter - TRUSS

4. frames of wood or metal enclosing part (or all) of a window sash; may be opened by means of hinges affixed to the vertical edges - CASEMENT

5. a moulding at the corner between the ceiling and the top of a wall; a decorative framework to conceal curtain fixtures at the top of a window casing; overhang of a pitched roof , usually consisting of a fascia board, a soffit and appropriate trim moldings - CORNICE

6. mixture of sand and stone and a major component of concrete AGGREGATE

7. flexible material used to seal a gap between two surfaces - CAULKING

8. 10" or 12" diameter hole drilled into the earth and embedded into bedrock 3 - 4 feet. The structural support for a type of foundation wall, porch, patio or other structure; an ornamental sunken panel in a ceiling or dome - CAISSON

9. vertical divider in the frame between windows, doors or other openings - MULLION

10. narrow strips of wood used to cover joints or as decorative vertical members over plywood or wide boards - BATTEN

And an old groaner ...

A man walked into the doctor's office and said, "I've hurt my arm in several places." 

The doctor said, "Well, just don't go there any more."

A Little Something Extra

"A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty Hi-Yo, Silver! The Lone Ranger!  With his faithful Indian companion, Tonto, the daring and resourceful masked rider of the plains led the fight for law and order in the early West. Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear ...The Lone Ranger rides again!"

Did that ring any bells for you?

Then you'll want to find out how this Hero was created ... 

Word of the week: Quotidian (adj) this rather exotic word means something unexpectedly humdrum, in fact it means 'everyday; usual or customary; commonplace; daily

It comes (surprise surprise) from Latin and is made up of two words: quot (how many, every) and die (day). 

Oxymoron of the week: accurate forecast 

Let's hope your weekend doesn't call for you to utter this week's Latin phrase:

Spero meliora

[SPAY-roh may-LEE-oh-rah]

(I hope for better things.)