The Write Way

23 March 2007

The Long Goodbye

Greetings,

A couple of weeks ago, I told you about a book I'd read that made me take notice of people around me ... and I have to tell you, it's becoming unnerving. When I'm in any social situation these days, I feel that I keep "popping out" of myself for a moment to observe the natives.

And it happened last weekend when we were at a Do with friends. I was enjoying chatting with a group of people we'd known for varying lengths of time - some were old friends, some were friends of friends etc. and then we came to the shank of the evening, when people start to make leaving noises. 

That's when I was suddenly transmogrified from guest to social anthropologist ...

We'd been happily solving the problems of the world (as you do after an evening of good food, good wine and good company) when one of our number glanced at his watch and said, "Is that the time already?"

That reference to Time activated my little grey cells and put them on alert ... Will we all rise as one and leave, I wondered. 

Not bloody likely; at least not if we're anything like human beings at every other social gathering Down Under.

And I was right. I took a quick time-check when the first intention to leave was mentioned; it was 11.35 pm.

Then followed the usual Goodbye Shuffle:

Guest 1 (seated, glancing at watch): Is that the time already?

Guest 2 (seated, following lead and looking at watch): No!? 

Guest 1 (shaking head in dismay): What happened to the night?

Guest 3 (nodding and smiling): Time flies when you're having fun ...

Guest 4 (making move as if to rise from chair): It's been lovely ...

Host 1 (rising in happy anticipation of a reasonably early night): It was lovely to see you ...

Guest 1 (still seated): We'll have to get together more often.

All present (in chorus): Yes ... We must ... Shouldn't leave it so long next time.

Guest 2: Let's make it a night out next time so you don't have to go to all this trouble. I heard about a great new Italian that's opened ...

Host 1 (sighing inwardly and sitting again): Oh good ...

All present: Excellent idea! But I'm on a diet, so Italian's out. Where else can we go? Have you tried the new ...?

(There followed 15 minutes of discussion of possible venues for the next gathering ...)

Guest 3 (standing now and edging towards the front door): Well, thanks again for a wonderful night ...

Host 2 (standing, sighing in relief and opening the door): Thanks for coming ...

Guest 2: Oh ... do you mind if I just use your bathroom? It's a bit of a long drive.

Guest 1: Might as well sit down again, this could take some time ...

Guests (in chorus): (laughter)

Host 1 & 2 (seeing their early night vanish up the hallway towards the loo): Great ...

Time passes ... by the time we'd driven away (and there were still a couple of stragglers making their farewells) it was 12.20. 

That's a long goodbye.

How much more sensible to use the strategy of friends of my parents. When the host reckoned he'd done his bit for society, he'd simply stand up, walk across to his wife, put his arm around her and start walking towards the hallway saying, "Well, dear, we'd better get to bed and let these good people go home."

Worked every time!

I always like to imagine the conversations taking place in cars as people wend their way home from events like these and the conversation between the hosts when they're finally free of their guests. Because that's all part of the fun, isn't it, dissecting the evening on the way home?

I wonder if the hostess makes a beeline for the coffee table as she searches frantically for culacinos, if the host is troubled by a faint sgriob and if they both fervently hope there'll be no instances of giomlaireachd tomorrow so they can sleep in.

Sorry?

You don't know what I'm talking about?

Why, these are all perfectly legitimate words that express the nuances of social interaction and its aftermath ... Allow me to explain then ...

A culacino is that mark that guests (because family members know better) make on your best wooden tables when they put their moist glasses down without a coaster. (It's an Italian word.)

A sgriob is that itchy sensation some people get on their upper lip just before they indulge in a wee whisky, and not surprisingly, this word is from the Gaelic (of Scotland the Brave fame).

And giomlaireachd is another Scottish word (from the Highlands) that refers to those people who have a habit of dropping in at mealtimes.

This week's quiz has some more of these extremely useful words we could all use at certain times in our lives! 

This week's quiz:

Here are some words that deserve to take their place in English right beside such classics as bakwe an Indonesian word for the practice of smoking a cigarette with the lit end in your mouth ( ... don't even ask ...) or tingo, which is a Pascuente word from Easter Island that describes the way some people borrow things from a friend's house, object by object, until there's nothing left in it ... (and don't tell me you've never had neighbours or friends like this!)

Match these up:

razblyuto, pana po'o, gumusservi, mukamuka, jeruhuk, ichigo-ichie, seigneur-terrasse, guree, cigerci, altjiranga mitjina

1. to make room for a person to sit on a loaded camel 

2. a seller of liver and lungs 

3. the feeling for someone once but no longer loved 

4. the practice of treasuring each moment and trying to make it perfect 

5. to scratch your head in order to remember something 

6. a person who spends much time but little money in a cafe 

7. the timeless dimensions of dreams 

8. so angry you feel like throwing up 

9. the act of stumbling into a hole that is concealed by long grass 

10. moonlight shining on water 

Discover more words like these to impress your friends and hit the nail on the head every time with Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words from Around the World. 

And a story I just found that really has nothing at all to do with anything we've been chatting about ...

The doctor looked her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly said: "Well, I can tell you that there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

Last week's quiz:

chines, mummy bag, nimbus, hyperthermia, anorak, cirrus, cumulus, fly, giardia, hypothermia

1. large, puffy white clouds seen high in the sky in good weather; dense individual elements in the form of puffs, mounds or towers, with flat bases and tops that often resemble cauliflower - CUMULUS

2.  life-threatening condition in which body temperature drops to dangerously low levels - HYPOTHERMIA (This situation calls for a mummy bag!)

3. the shape of a sleeping bag when it includes a hood, tubular shaped foot and leg and a zipper down one side of the bag; keep the insulation closer to the body - MUMMY BAG (And no, you can't have a daddy bag)

4. abnormally high fever - HYPERTHERMIA (Something you could suffer from if you spend too much time in your mummy bag!)

5. the long side curves formed by the shape of the bottom of a canoe; the line of intersection between the side and bottom of a flat-bottom or V-bottom boat - CHINES

6. a one-piece outer shell that slips over the head and has no front zipper from which body heat can escape - ANORAK

7. genus of flagellated, usually nonpathogenic protozoa that are parasitic in the intestines of vertebrates including humans and most domestic animals; organism found in untreated water, responsible for causing diarrhoea - GIARDIA

8. a cloud of a class characterised by thin white filaments or narrow bands and a composition of ice crystals: of high altitude 20,000–40,000 ft. (6000–12,000 m); cloud formation that is typified by looking wispy and having arched “tails” - CIRRUS

9. type of dense clouds or cloud mass with ragged edges, that yields rain or snow; a rain cloud - NIMBUS

10. water-resistant “roof” of tents; often secured to the tent's framing members and staked out, away from the tent - FLY (No, this isn't the one that carries germs likely to lead to symptoms similar to giardia, but the bit of material you use to shelter when you see those nimbus clouds)

And here's a useful tip I was sent some time back ... Since we've been discussing using just the right word for each occasion, this seemed strangely apt:

In promulgating your esoteric cogitation or articulating your superficial sentimentalities, and amicable philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity.

Let your conversational communications possess a compacted conciseness, a clarified comprehensibility, a coalescent cogency, and a concatenated consistency.

Eschew obfuscation and all conglomeration of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement, and asinine affectations.

Let your extemporaneous descanting and unpremeditated expatiation have intelligibility and voracious vivacity without rodomontade or thrasonical bombast.

Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolificacy, and vain vapid verbosity.

In short: "Be brief and don't use big words."

A Little Something Extra

Has all this talk of neighbours endlessly borrowing from you and guests dropping in unannounced made you restless to escape it all?

Want to get out there and commune with nature?

Then read on ...

"Camping can be one of the most rewarding recreational activities that a person can embark upon. However, when considering going on a camping trip, there are many items one must consider before jaunting off into the wilderness. If you are new to the camping scene, there are a lot more things to consider than one would think. To begin with, if you are going on any kind of a camping trip at all, camping gear is a necessity and it is often far more than some tent and sleeping bag. There are several things to consider ..."

Click to learn how to have a safe and enjoyable wilderness experience: http://www.write101.com/camping.htm 

Word of the week: Torschlusspanik (German): the fear of diminishing opportunities as one gets older (literally: gate-closing panic)

Oxymoron of the week: short farewell

And this week's Latin phrase is one you may not be using if you live near someone with a penchant for tingo, because you won't have one!

Tetigisti acu. 

[tayt-ee-GEE-stee Ah-koo]

(You have hit the nail on the head.)