Greetings,

If you subscribed to this newsletter, it's because you're interested in writing and because you'd probably like to try writing something a bit more ambitious than a shopping list or memo!

Despite what you might see in the movies, writers NEVER sit down with a pen and notepad and dash off a best seller! It just doesn't work that way. So this week, let's sharpen those pencils and have a bit of a look at what's involved in writing.

Writing requires planning and preparation.

Writing requires discipline.

Begin with a brief synopsis of what you intend to write. We'll work on the premise that you're writing fiction, although many of these points apply equally to non-fiction.

The synopsis should include:

• The beginning
• The end
• At least one scene

This way, you know where you'll be starting and where you're hoping to go. Including one scene in your synopsis helps you to focus on your characters and plot.

If you intend to write, you should carry a small notebook with you - everywhere you go. You just never know when you're likely to:

• See an ideal setting for your book
• Overhear a snippet of dialogue that sparks ideas for a scene
• Witness an exchange between individuals that could become the pivotal scene in your book
• See an interesting face/ hairstyle/ expression that could be used
• Read a notice/ newspaper headline/ piece of graffiti that could be worked into your plot

Inspiration is all around you.

Make a note of surnames that you come across - carry a small, indexed book for this and enter names in alphabetical order for ease of reference later.

As you enter a name in your book, make a note of your ideas at the time (is this a good name for a villain, a hero, a background character etc) and note your reasons.

Keep a file of maps and tourist guides to locations that you can use in your book. Tourist guides give you details about climate, temperatures, places of interest, industries etc.

If you're using real places in your book, they MUST be accurate - nothing will turn off readers more than obvious inaccuracies. A basic example - if your story is set in Australia, the currency is dollars and cents not pounds and pence. Errors such as these indicate sloppiness and carelessness and detract from the impact of your work. The Internet has made it so easy to research these days - there is no excuse.

If you're using imaginary settings for your book, be consistent. Draw a map of your locations, pencil in distances, geographic features etc and then refer to this during your writing. That way you won't have one scene where your heroine strolls between the church and her home in ten minutes and another where it takes the hero ten minutes to drive the same distance while being pursued by villains on motor cycles.

Write biographies for your main characters.

Even if you don't use all the information in the book, it helps you to present your characters as rounded, when you have an idea about their family background, education, likes and dislikes etc.

Include:

• Age
• Appearance
• Occupation
• Income
• Education
• Marital state
• Recent relationships
• Children / siblings
• Likes and dislikes
• Favourite music
• Hobbies / pastimes
• Strengths and weaknesses
• Special characteristics (movement, speech, laugh etc)
• Favourite sayings
• Idiosyncrasies

Get into a routine and begin writing at the same time each day (you'll know whether you're an early morning person, or a late starter - go with what suits you).

Record the number of words you write - aim for a minimum of 350 each session (a session can be one or two hours - experiment with what suits you best). Some days the words will flow rapidly and you'll have your target in a few minutes. Other days will require more effort! Don't get up until you've achieved whatever target you've set for yourself.

If the ideas are flowing, stay put and get them down while you can.

NEVER interrupt the flow of words.

That means that you DON'T edit as you go. If there's a passage you feel isn't quite right, make a note in the margin (or add an asterisk or highlight the words in a different colour if using a PC).

You can start each writing session by reading over the previous session's work and making revisions. This puts you back into the events too, and you can then take up the story where you left off.

How long should your book be? Not as long as it takes to present the story! That could take forever.

The most popular fiction books are between 60,000 and 100,000 words and contain at least 20 chapters.

Every chapter should end with a hook - to entice the readers on to the next chapter, and the book itself should end with a note of finality. You don't want your readers thinking that the last page is missing.

My son sent me these - some may be familiar but I'm sure you'll agree that there's wisdom here:
_______________________________________________
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots
wore helmets.
_______________________________________________

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of
alphabet soup?
_______________________________________________

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets
mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head
out the window?
_______________________________________________

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock
every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there
picking the locks, they are always locking three.
_______________________________________________

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a
pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a
bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
________________________________________________

Choose the word which is most nearly OPPOSITE in meaning to the word in capitals:

How did you go with these? Remember, they had to be OPPOSITE in meaning.

1. diffuse, succinct, laconic, concise

2. pertinent, relevant, apposite, inappropriate

3. perverse, stubborn, tractable, wayward

4. qualm, compunction, scruple, heedlessness

5. garish, tawdry, sober, ostentatious

6. incessant, intermittent, interminable, unremitting

7. encumbrance, hindrance, incentive, impediment

8. facetious, recalcitrant, co-operative, dissident

9. surreptitious, forthright, clandestine, stealthy

10.nullify, quash, annul, validate

Alan recently sent me these wonderful entries in the contest (these should give you the confidence to start writing!)

The Edward Bulwer-Lytton prize is awarded every year to the author of
> the worst possible opening line of a book. This has been so
> successful that Penguin now publishes five books-worth of entries.
> Here are some recent winners.
>
>
 "'Fightin' Joe' Steerforth thought he was tough until the day he met
 Annie ("Big Bucket") McGillicuddy and she left him battered and
 spent like a punch-drunk prizefighter on the ropes of love."

 "Just beyond the Narrows the river widens."

 "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a
 tanned unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown
 hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect
 teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee
 had a beauty that defied description."

 "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept
 along the east wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep...'"

 "The horizon coughed up the morning sun much as if Atlas had lowered
 the world from his mighty shoulders and given it the Heimlich maneuver."

 "'This is almost worth the high blood pressure!' he thought as yet
 another mosquito exploded."

 "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism,
 was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change
 surgeon to become the woman he loved."

 "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her
 from eeking out a living at a local pet store."

 "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind
 in the sound chamber he would never hear the end of it."

 "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins
 often do."

 "Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese,
 the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

 "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning
 of the word "fear," a man who could laugh in the face of danger and
 spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies.

 "Through the gathering gloom of a late October afternoon, along the
 greasy, cracking paving stones slick from the sputum of the
 sky, Stanley Ruddlethorpe wearily trudged up the hill from the
 cemetery where his wife, sister, brother, and three children were all
 buried, and forced open the door of his decaying house, blissfully
 unaware of the catastrophe that was soon to devastate his life."

 "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along
 the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle
 window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown
 asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden
 amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the
 frog's deception, screaming madly, "You lied!"

Inspired???

It may have something to do with "withdrawal symptoms" since leaving teaching, but I've been collecting "good sites" over the past couple of months (in much the same way I used to collect interesting newspaper articles that might "come in handy" for a lesson). I've set up a couple of pages of sites to help students (of all ages) with maths and science. If you know of other appropriate sites, please send me an email and I'll add them to these pages.

I intend to add to these Student Resource pages until all the major subject areas are represented. Keep popping back to see how many I've added :)

I keep resisting the urge to include all the 'politically-incorrect' oxymorons I've collected ... I don't know how much longer I can hold out ... If you see a warning on a future issue, you'll know I gave in.

Two Latin phrases this week (yes, I know ... generous to a fault, that's me). The first may be useful when dealing with your publisher when your book becomes a best seller and you get that lovely advance on your next book, but ... well ... it's nearly finished ...

Amicule, deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi? (Baby, sweetheart, would I lie to you?)

And this because I've always loved that line from Mae West (and it's relevant to the theme of writing - in a way):

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? (Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?)

Regards,

Jennifer

Privacy Policy.