The Write Way

25 August 2006

That Would Be Fun!

Greetings,

One of the great things about this newsletter (apart from all the truly wonderful and interesting people I've met through it) is that it enables me to rant and rave about things that really annoy me about other people's writing. And before you lift that dainty digit to fire off a note that begins, "But what about the time you wrote ..." let me just say I'm the first to admit that despite the fact I have a site devoted to writing, I do still make lots of mistakes (as so many of you have kindly pointed out to me over the years!)

However ... Today's rant, boys and girls, concerns fun.

The Love of My Life and I spent Sunday arvo at an AFL game. AFL, as you may recall, is Aussie Rules Football. We had great seats from where we could see the entire field, and we were looking forward to watching our team (the Lions), even though they were expected to get another drubbing at the Gabba. (The Brisbane Cricket Ground at Woolloongabba has been renovated and expanded and now hosts other sporting events besides cricket, and among these is the AFL .)

So all was well until the arrival of a team of juniors who (as we later learned) had won a competition and were parading around the ground at half-time. We heard them before we saw them, as is the case with a gaggle of pre-teen boys, and then (dare I say it?) we smelled them before we saw them burst up the stairs. What is it about kids this age? They all have that distinctive aroma that's a mix of slightly penicilliny orange peels, sweaty sneakers and something indefinable I'd rather not think about.

We shook our heads and chucked to each other about the poor sods who'd be sitting near them, and then sighed as they honed in on our row. We held our breath as they flowed past us and up the stairs, then swallowed as one bringing up the rear called out, "No! Here they are! We're here!" and they pushed and jostled back down and into the row right behind us ...

I shudder to think what it was that variously hit me on the back, brushed over my hair and dribbled down the seat next to me as they settled (if you can ever use that word in relation to young boys of this age) into their seats.

Trying to be patient and caring instead of a grumpy old woman, I spent the first 15 minutes of their sojourn leaning as far forward in my seat as I could while still maintaining my balance and not tumbling down the steep incline of the stand. Judging after this time that they'd finally passed all the bottles of drinks, packets of potato chips and bags of lollies they'd brought with them up and down the row sufficient times to exhaust their supplies, I finally leant back in my seat just as the hooter sounded, and the game began.

The piercing whistles, robust screams and shouted witticisms we put down to youthful exuberance, and when quarter time finally arrived, we were delighted to see more than half of them stream down the stairs towards the kiosks in search of more junk food. This left the quieter boys to discuss their day so far, and I was struck by the number of variations on the word "fun." 

"I had lots of fun on the ferry ride!" said one, and I smiled indulgently, warming to their innocence and the sheer joy of living they embodied.

"Yeah. But the bus was funner, and when Johnno tripped and nearly missed it I just about ..." and I grimaced at their torture of the language and fortunately didn't catch what it was the speaker just about did, but I have a nasty suspicion it rhymed with "missed."

"I hope we get to meet the players. That'd be very fun!" said the first.

"Yeah," agreed his mate, "that'd be so fun." And at that point in time, my husband had to place a calming hand on my shoulder as I readied myself to swing around and explain to these lads that "fun" is a noun, d'you hear me? A noun! Not an adjective, but a noun. If you want an adjective that goes with the NOUN "fun," we have one. It's "funny." 

Having given this incident a considerable amount of thought (probably way too much thought if it comes right down to it) I feel moved to write a standard letter I can send to commentators, script writers, politicians, advertisers, people I overhear in shops, small boys sitting behind me at football matches etc etc ad nauseum that goes something like this:

"Fun is a noun; very, so, much and such are adverbs. Adverbs modify verbs, adjectives or other adverbs ... NOT nouns. So you just can't have "so fun; very fun; much fun ..." Sorry, end of story.

"Yours sincerely,

"An English lover"

The trouble is, that these days, we hear these abominations so often, we begin to doubt ourselves, so a quick visit to my mate Google seemed to be in order. And what did I find, dear reader? 

Ha! 

Vindication, that's what!

"The use of fun as an attributive adjective, as in a fun time, a fun place, probably originated in a playful reanalysis of the use of the word in sentences such as It is fun to ski, where fun has the syntactic function of adjectives such as amusing or enjoyable. The usage became popular in the 1950s and 1960s, though there is some evidence to suggest that it has 19th-century antecedents, but it can still raise eyebrows among traditionalists. The day may come when this usage is entirely unremarkable, but writers may want to avoid it in more formal contexts.

"Ten-year-olds nowadays are likely to say sentences such as The carnival is funner than the Science Museum, and their parents are likely to have given up trying to correct the sentence to The carnival is more fun than the Science Museum. This use of fun as an inflected adjective (fun, funner, funnest) became popular in the 1950s and 1960s and has persisted, so that a press release today will announce perfectly seriously: The corporation believes that a spelling bee is a fun way to emphasize the critical importance of good basic communication skills in America’s workplace. The day will no doubt come when this use of fun is normal; yet at present the use of fun to modify nouns has a facetious or an informal tone. You should avoid it where a light tone would be inappropriate." 

For a more detailed grammatical explanation and to read what's wrong with expressions such as, "I'm so not there!"  

And to wind up my rant ... Did you know that the word fun is derived from an obsolete verb? It comes from fon "to make a fool of" ... Say no more!

This week's Little Something Extra has an excellent discussion about why grammar is important, and why we should all be taking up arms to protect it from these onslaughts.

And here's one of those scientific breakthroughs we hear about regularly. Dave Wagner came across it some time ago, and I have to tell you that it can also be found Down Under:

We have just uncovered proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named *Governmentium*.

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction, which would normally take less than a second, to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a  portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.  In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Sigh ... 

My recent time away from my office brought home to me again just how important it is to be able to keep in touch with all aspects of my business while travelling. Transferring files from desktop to laptop and back again ... trying to keep track of emails ... all that has whiskers on it!

Click to see what I did wrong and get your no-cost trial membership for not one, but two wonderful programs guaranteed to make your life easier... You'll wonder how you ever managed without them!

This week's quiz:

Here we go again, match each word in the list with its definition below: disabuse, render, apropos, guileless, diffidence, implacable, sophistry, vituperate, raffish,  resigned

1. appropriate to the situation; apt

2. incapable of being placated

3. disreputable; tawdry

4. without deceit, honest

5.unresisting, submissive

6. berate, rail against, attack verbally

7. deliver, provide, represent

8. shyness

9. fallacious reasoning, faulty logic

10.to correct a false impression

And one of those urban myths you really wish were true:

The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Pee-Ka-Boo) is not
just an athlete . . . she is now a nurse currently working at the
Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.  She is not
permitted to answer the hospital telephones any longer.  It was causing
too much confusion whenever she would answer the phone.  When the phone
rang and she answered she would say, "Hello,  Picabo, I.C.U."

Last week's quiz:

OK, how did you go with these? Some were sort of self-explanatory, weren't they? (Sort of!) I found these at the UK Statistical Education through Problem Solving website, and you'll also find examples of calculations to illustrate many of the terms.  

Histogram, Bayes' Theorem, Skewness, Outlier, Least Squares, Quartiles, Exponential Smoothing, Mode, Extrapolation, Ho

1. the most frequently occurring value in a set of discrete data - MODE

2.  when the value of a variable is estimated at times which have not yet been observed. This estimate may be reasonably reliable for short times into the future, but for longer times, the estimate is liable to become less accurate - EXTRAPOLATION

3. represents a theory that has been put forward, either because it is believed to be true or because it is to be used as a basis for argument, but has not been proved - Ho (also known as NULL HYPOTHESIS)

4.  this is a result that allows new information to be used to update the conditional probability of an event - BAYES' THEOREM

5. a criterion for fitting a specified model to observed data. For example, it is the most commonly used method of defining a straight line through a set of points on a scatter plot - LEAST SQUARES

6.  a technique used to reduce irregularities (random fluctuations) in time series data, thus providing a clearer view of the true underlying behaviour of the series. It also provides an effective means of predicting future values of the time series (forecasting) - EXPONENTIAL SMOOTHING

7. values that divide a sample of data into four groups containing (as far as possible) equal numbers of observations - QUARTILES

8. asymmetry in the distribution of the sample data values. Values on one side of the distribution tend to be further from the 'middle' than values on the other side - SKEWNESS

9. a way of summarising data that are measured on an interval scale (either discrete or continuous). It is often used in exploratory data analysis to illustrate the major features of the distribution of the data in a convenient form. It divides up the range of possible values in a data set into classes or groups. For each group, a rectangle is constructed with a base length equal to the range of values in that specific group, and an area proportional to the number of observations falling into that group. This means that the rectangles might be drawn of non-uniform height - HISTOGRAM

10. an observation in a data set which is far removed in value from the others in the data set. It is an unusually large or an unusually small value compared to the others - OUTLIER

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A Little Something Extra

Why do so many of us get so het up about the blatant misuse of grammar? Are we all turning into grumpy old men and women, even those of us who are still in our prime?

Or is there a damn good reason for maintaining the rules of grammar?

Read why it is important to use correct grammar! 

Word of the week: Floccinaucinihilipilification (n) an act or instance of judging something to be worthless or trivial

This word is derived from a number of Latin words: Floccus "a tuft of wool;" Nauci is related to nugae "trifles, trivial things;"  Nihil "nothing;"  Pilus "hair." 

And isn't this a great word? Bet you'll be able to use it some time soon!

Oxymoron of the week: I read that Katie Holmes is giving up acting ...

And here's a Latin phrase you can use this weekend ...

Visne scire quod credam? Credo Elvem ipsum etiam vivere. 

WEES-nay SKEE-ray KWOHD KRAY-dahm? KRAY-doh EL-waym IP-soom AY-tee-ahm wee-WAY-ray.

(You know what I think? I think Elvis is alive.)