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The Write Way 16 June 2006 Resistance Is Futile! Greetings, One of my friends invited me to accompany her for a day out shopping last week ... mostly of the window variety for both of us, but fun nevertheless. We had to drop her husband at the airport on the way because he was off on one of his regular monthly business trips. We both enjoy airports, so against her husband's attempts to dissuade us, we parked the car and accompanied him through the automatic check-in and up to the coffee lounge. (Is it the nearness of all those expensive shops with their even more expensive products that makes grown men quail at the thought of leaving women unsupervised in these surrounds, do you think?) As we turned the corner into the departure lounge, my friend's husband stopped dead in his tracks and started muttering, "Oh please, please ... in the name of all that's good, please ... Don't let it be me!" Disturbed by this sudden onset of fear in someone we both thought was a seasoned traveller, we followed the direction of his woeful stare and saw a sight that could certainly inspire terror into the heart of any person destined to be locked in a tube of aluminium hurtling through the air for the next several hours. No, it wasn't a mother with twins and a toddler, but an extremely large person whose bulk was already spilling across not one, not two but three seats in the waiting area. This terrifying sight reminded my friend of an article she'd seen about obese people who were demanding airlines install over-large seats to accommodate their over-large bodies, and then dragging out the discrimination argument when told they had to pay for this extra space. Now, I'm the first person to express sympathy for people who are born with problems the rest of us are blessed to avoid, and I'm also sympathetic towards those who've suffered injury or illness through unavoidable circumstances. Where my sympathy stops short is for those who have no-one to blame but themselves for their problems. And tell me, dear reader, whose fault is it that these people are obese?
You can't tell me that Baddies break into their homes at night and inject them with Fat Legs and Wobbly Bellies ... nor is it the government's fault, nor the fast food companies' fault, nor anyone else's fault. The fault lies squarely at the feet (lurking somewhere on the floor beneath the rolls of flesh) of the individual who chooses to consume those three hamburgers, hot chips and double chocolate milkshake for lunch, instead of a nice salad sandwich. It's all about choice, isn't it? So as we discussed my friend's chances of getting stuck in the seat next to this mountain of an individual, we did it with a certain amount of righteous indignation and with a determination to extract revenge on the airline if he was put in this unenviable position. Hmmm ... Yes, I appreciate your concern, and of course, you're absolutely correct. We couldn't extract revenge, no matter what we did, since the correct expression is to exact revenge. Exact, (when used as a verb) means:
and it comes from the Latin exigere (to weigh out; demand). To make sure you're not one of those people from whom small children hide, read how closing your eyes before eating can help you lose weight ... No, really. Would I lie to you, Honey? Click here to read how closing your eyes can help lose weight then ... Gee! Talk about a doubting Thomas! You might also be interested to read the short review of some of the latest diets under Top Diets. But, personally, I think that proper nutrition and exercise are the keys, so take a moment to read both those articles when you get to the site. And speaking of weight, you do know why French women don't get fat, don't you? No? Then click to find out! If you're now suddenly overcome by the urge to send this newsletter to all your friends with a glowing endorsement that they subscribe immediately, don't fight it! Give in ... resistance is futile ... Just forward it in its entirety by clicking the Forward button. How simple is that, eh? This week's quiz: Let's see how well you know the enemy ... match up these terms with their meanings: cellulite, cholesterol, diuretic, hypotension, metabolism, bariatrics, adipocytes, catabolism, endorphins, hypertension 1. branch of medicine dealing with the causes, prevention and treatment of obesity, both pharmacological and surgical 2. group of proteins produced naturally by the body with potent analgesic properties (similar to morphine) 3. chemical processes that take place within a living cell or organism that break down substances to provide energy and/or raw materials which are then re-synthesised into new and necessary substances to support life 4. waxy lipid (fat); important for our health, but excess is deposited on the surfaces of blood vessels making them stiff and causing blockage 5. the dimples and bumps in the skin, usually around the thighs and buttocks, caused when the natural structure of the skin is stretched by fat cells growing too large 6. metabolic breakdown of complex molecules into simpler ones, often resulting in a release of energy 7. the scientific term for fat cells 8. drug that increases the discharge of urine, used to move fluid through the body quickly as a form of purging 9. blood pressure above the normal range 10. blood pressure below the normal range And a couple of thoughts to pass along to those people you know who need to shed a few kilos: I am in shape ... Round is a shape. One of life's mysteries is how a 250 gram bar of chocolate can make a woman gain 750 grams of weight. Last week's quiz: albatross, bisque, bogey, apron, eagle, birdie, choke, deuce, double bogey, double eagle 1. three under par on a hole - DOUBLE EAGLE 2. two under par for a hole - EAGLE 3. one under par on a hole - BIRDIE 4. score of two on a given hole - DEUCE 5. British term for three under par on one hole- ALBATROSS 6. play poorly because of self-imposed pressure - CHOKE 7. one stroke over par on a hole - BOGEY 8. two over par on a hole - DOUBLE BOGEY 9. the grass around the edge of a green, longer than the grass on the green but shorter than the grass on the fairway - APRON 10. handicap stroke given by one player to another. Receiver may choose which hole it is applied to - BISQUE And a story to make you think twice ... A friend had joined a Weight Watchers group. At the first meeting the lecturer asked members which food or department at the supermarket was the most tempting to them. One man confessed that Chinese egg rolls were his greatest weakness, and a woman said she found it almost impossible to resist anything chocolate. Finally it was my friend's turn. Taking a deep breath, she announced, "Aisles two, three, four and five." Subscribe Here If you've received this little missive from a friend, you can get your very own issue, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed every Friday morning by clicking here: mailto:WritingTips-subscribe@yahoogrups.com Did you know that every newsletter is archived? So if you've missed anything since 1998 or want to revisit some favourites, you can do so any time! Don't forget to bookmark the page when you get there ... or even make it your Home Page. (For Internet Explorer, just click on Tools ... Internet Options ... General ... fill in www.write101.com/archives/index.htm and click OK. For Netscape, select Edit ... Preferences. Then select Navigator from the left menu, click Home Page and enter the URL above next to Location and click OK. For all the flash new browsers, you'll have to do a search on my mate google to find what to do. There's a search box on the archives page!) An Ape that wants to play Hamlet after being type-cast as King Kong, a talking anvil and that rottweiller ... Dr Morgenes is still caught in the nightmare that is the casting couch. Help him find a plot! Just click on the Comments button at the end of the entry to add your contribution. If you have friends who fancy themselves as writers, invite them to contribute (just forward this newsletter in its entirety to them). I often trawl this for comments to post on my site ... so if you say something about the newsletter or site, be warned, you may end up being read by one of the 2,000+ unique visitors who visit Write101 every day! Make your Mark on the World. Then stop by our Map of the World and read the messages. (Just click List) and add your mark. A Little Something Extra Here's a Little Something Extra to pass along to anyone you may know who needs a bit of a nudge to shed a few kilos ... or to use as material in your next short story ... or to use as the start of your next article ... "Everyone who
ever tried to lose weight has probably tried just about everything they could to
do it at one time or another. With all of the gimmicks, fad diets, useless
pills, and "secret" exercise methods out there it can be frustrating
trying to get rid of unwanted fat. Discover these two simple ways to help burn off those extra kilos here: Word of the week: Fartlek (n) athletic training technique, used especially in running, in which periods of intense effort alternate with periods of less strenuous effort in a continuous workout. This type of loosely structured interval training is ideal for runners, cyclists and in-line skaters. It combines anaerobic segments with aerobic ones. Said to build strength and speed. (Also relieves boredom.) A workout using this technique. This delightfully wonderful word comes from the Swedish word for speed or play which is (I kid you not) fart. This comes from an Old Norse word fara meaning to go or move. The second part of the term is derived from the Swdish lek meaning to play, which in turn comes from the Old Norse leika (to play). Oxymoron of the week: simple diet And this week's Latin phrase is for those who've followed the advice about losing weight. You should be hearing a lot of questions like this from now on: Nonne macescis? [NOH-nay mah-KAY-skees] Have you lost weight? Kind regards, Jennifer P.S. Want to donate to the upkeep of this newsletter? Here's how: 1. Pay by PayPal: OR 2. Click here to subscribe for a full year OR 3. Use your credit card on my secure order form. (You can also access the PayPal subscription link from this page if the link above didn't work for you. With PayPal, you can use your credit card, PayPal account or pay online using your own cheque account.) OR 4. Send a cheque (made payable to Jennifer Stewart) Copyright 2006 Jennifer Stewart Individual articles copyrighted by
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