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The Write Way 19 May 2006 Babelfish, Anyone?
Greetings, One of the really great things about the Internet is that we can communicate with people from all around this lovely old planet of ours ... and even better, is discovering that we're all basically the same. We share the same needs, the same desires ... and the same funny bones! When I first started working with clients who found me via the Internet, I was delighted at the prospect of the world as my oyster, and I naively thought I could use online translation services so I could work with non-English-speaking people as well as native English-speakers. Well, I did say I was naive ... I was reminded of those brief (embarrassing) days when I came across an example of what happens when words are translated a number of times from language to language ... The results are disturbing to say the least. This was an interview with singer, Madonna when she was promoting the movie, Evita: "Madonna had an interview
with the Blikk:
Madonna, Budapest
says hello with arms that are spread-eagled. Did you have a visit here that was
agreeable? Are you in good odor? You are the biggest fan of our young people who
hear your musical productions and like to move their bodies in response.
What can I say? I tried a little experiment with Babelfish ... I translated a short paragraph from my site into French, then pasted that into the window and translated it back into English ... the results? You be the judge: Original ... Since this was the 60s, and we weren't married or even engaged at the time, there was no hanky-panky, so we spent most of our time doing outdoorsy things - swimming (despite the rain ... you get wet anyway so what's the difference, eh?), walking, boat trips on the lake, rowing in little hire boats, and then the LoML suggested ... golf. I think it must be a Boy Thing ... give 'em a ball of any size, shape or composition and a stick, bat, racquet, club, bit of wood or hob-nailed boot to hit it with and they're happy for hours. (Archives) Translation from French translation ... Since it was the 60s, and we were not married or even we are not committed then, there was no trickery, thus we passed the major part of our making time of the things outdoorsy - swimming (in spite of the rain... that you become wet thus in any event what is the difference, hein?), walk, boat starts on the lake, rowing in little of boats of hiring, and then... the golf suggested by LoML.I think that it must be fine of support of an elasticity of thing of boy... ' a ball of any size, forms or the composition and a stick, the bat, the racquet, the club, the piece of wood or initialization mill -- nailed to strike it with and they are happy during hours. (Babelfish) Hmmm ... so it should come as no surprise to read menu translations from the Japanese and Chinese restaurants below. Given that now we're talking about not only different languages, but also different characters to represent the words in those languages! These examples illustrate the perils of poor translation; they're from a Japanese menu that obviously provided as much enjoyment as the food: Item 1315: slippery meat in king's vegetables in pillar 1210: a west bean pays the fish a soup 2003: the carbon roasts the sheep sparerib 2006: carbon burns fatty cow New Zealand 2008: carbon burns black bowel 5001: cowboy leg beautiful pole Yum! Carbon burnt black bowel all around, boys and girls? My shout! Read the whole wonderful menu here and make sure you get to the duck chin! Finally, an extract from the menu of a Polish
hotel: The point of all this, boys and girls? If you're writing in a foreign language, make sure you get a native speaker/writer to proof your work before you let it loose on an unsuspecting world! And if English is your second language, make sure you get your English pages proofread by a native English-speaker, then you'll avoid such clangers as the following classics: In a Belgrade hotel elevator: In a Copenhagen airline ticket
office: In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: You know, it doesn't matter who you are or how much you write, from time to time we all fall prey to the dreaded typos, tangled fingers and plain old mistakes. Not everyone can afford to have every piece of writing edited, but the next best thing is to have your own little digital editor squatting beside you as you work! I've recently found a new editing program that you might like to try. It's called WhiteSmoke and it's very simple to use ... a quick click on the F2 key and the program opens in your word processor. Then you can correct grammar and spelling errors using the suggestions WhiteSmoke provides, and you can enrich your writing by replacing dull words with more appropriate ones (suggested by your digital mate) to suit the particular Style you've selected. (You can choose from Comprehensive, Medical, Legal, Letter-writing or Business-writing.) And the Premium edition even comes in a Literary version! Something that will be of great help to busy writers is the huge store of templates included in the program ... there are literally hundreds of ready-to-go documents that cover every possible need from Business and Financial to Legal and Medical to Resumes and Student. For example, in the Business templates, you'll find Advertising, Agreements, Business Management, Hiring & Firing and Sales & Marketing, among others. Then within each main category, there are other categories. In Business Management, you'll find templates for Business Plans, various types of Correspondence and Staff Notices. In the Staff Notices, there are templates to help you motivate staff, deal with dissension among staff and more ... These templates alone will save you hours and hours of work! Have a look now and save while this introductory price lasts. This week's Little Something Extra has 11 great ideas for writing ... so you can give your nifty new editing program a bit of a workout! I don't know about you, but there are a few words that always get tangled when I type when I'm rushing ... Do these look familiar? teh, soemhting, soem, chanegs, pelase Sigh ... then it is just me? This week's quiz: Some interesting and colourful words so you can impress your mates this weekend (perhaps use them to describe your meals?): celadon, indigo, cochineal, smalt, flavescent, puce, griseous, lateritious, nankeen, sarcoline 1. deep red to dark greyish purple 2. yellow or buff cotton cloth 3. turning yellow; yellowish 4. hue of that portion of the visible spectrum lying between blue and violet, evoked in the human observer by radiant energy with wavelengths of approximately 420 to 450 nanometers; a dark blue to greyish purple blue 5. pale to very pale green 6. like bricks; of the color of red bricks 7. flesh-coloured - 8. red dye made of the dried and pulverized bodies of female insects; used as a biological stain and as an indicator in acid-base titrations 9. deep blue paint and ceramic pigment produced by pulverizing a glass made of silica, potash, and cobalt oxide 10.mottled with grey, especially bluish grey; pearl-grey A retired printer went into the restaurant business. One day one of his customers cried, "This is an outrage--there's a needle in this soup!" "Merely a typographical error, sir," said the printer, "it should have been 'noodle.'" Last week's quiz: abaft, benthic, ebb, ichthyology, lek, detrivore, gyre, pelagic, crepuscular, anadromous 1. an animal (such as a salmon) that spends much of its life at sea and then returns to a freshwater stream or lake to spawn - ANADROMOUS 2. a communal area used by adult males during the breeding season as a stage for the competitive attraction of females - LEK (Not to be confused with a singles bar) 3. an organism that feeds on large bits of dead and decaying organic matter - DETRIVORE (What detrivores leave behind is used by decomposers. Crabs and seabirds are examples of detrivores.) 4. of or relating to or happening on the bottom under a body of water - BENTHIC 5. the outward flow of the tide - EBB 6. relating to or occurring or living in or frequenting the open ocean; the plants and animals that live in the water column or in the open waters of the ocean rather than the ocean floor - PELAGIC 7. at or near or toward the stern of a ship or tail of an aeroplane - ABAFT 8. a round shape formed by a series of concentric circles; the large loop of interconnected surface currents within a single ocean basin, usually spanning 20 to 30° in latitude - GYRE (Fans of W B Yeats will be familiar with this word from The Second Coming: (Source) 9. the branch of zoology that deals with fishes - their classification, structure, habits and life history - ICHTHYLOLOGY 10. appearing or active at twilight - CREPUSCULAR Subscribe Here If you've received this little missive from a friend, you can get your very own issue, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed every Friday morning by clicking here: mailto:WritingTips-subscribe@yahoogrups.com And one more soup story ...An American woman traveling in Southeast Asia was horrified to be served bird's nest soup, especially when the chef explained the bird had built the next using its own saliva as glue. When she refused to eat anything with bird saliva in it, the chef asked what she would prefer instead. "Oh," she answered, just fix me an omelette." Did you know that every newsletter is archived? So if you've missed anything since 1998 or want to revisit some favourites, you can do so any time! Don't forget to bookmark the page when you get there ... or even make it your Home Page. (For Internet Explorer, just click on Tools ... Internet Options ... General ... fill in www.write101.com/archives/index.htm and click OK. For Netscape, select Edit ... Preferences. Then select Navigator from the left menu, click Home Page and enter the URL above next to Location and click OK. For all the flash new browsers, you'll have to do a search on my mate google to find what to do. There's a search box on the archives page!) An Ape that wants to play Hamlet after being type-cast as King Kong, a talking anvil and that rottweiller ... Dr Morgenes is still caught in the nightmare that is the casting couch. Help him find a plot! Just click on the Comments button at the end of the entry to add your contribution. If you have friends who fancy themselves as writers, invite them to contribute (just forward this newsletter in its entirety to them). I often trawl this for comments to post on my site ... so if you say something about the newsletter or site, be warned, you may end up being read by one of the 2,000+ unique visitors who visit Write101 every day! Make your Mark on the World. Then stop by our Map of the World and read the messages. (Just click List) and add your mark. A Little Something Extra As promised, here are 11 great ideas to get you started with your writing. "While I'm sure that sometimes you have dozens of content ideas, I bet other times you find yourself staring at a blank computer screen, grumbling that it's publishing time again. Well, have no fear! Here are 11 quick (and good) content ideas for when you're in a pinch ..." Discover these great ideas to start writing. Word of the week: Smaragdine (adj) having the colour of emeralds (From the Greek smaragdos 'emerald') [smuh-RAG-deen] You wouldn't think such an ugly-sounding word could have such a lovely meaning, would you? Oxymoron of the week: fast waiter And this week's Latin phrase is from our friend Ovid ... Saepe creat molles aspera spina rosas Often the prickly thorn produces tender roses. (Ovid) Kind regards, Jennifer P.S. Want to donate to the upkeep of this newsletter? Here's how: 1. Pay by PayPal: OR 2. Click here to subscribe for a full year OR 3. Use your credit card on my secure order form. (You can also access the PayPal subscription link from this page if the link above didn't work for you. With PayPal, you can use your credit card, PayPal account or pay online using your own cheque account.) OR 4. Send a cheque (made payable to Jennifer Stewart) Copyright 2006 Jennifer Stewart Individual articles copyrighted by
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