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The Write Way 8 October 2004 Nothing Can Go Wroing! Greetings, We've had our daughter up visiting for the past week, so we've spent a lot of time Out and About, catching up with friends she hasn't seen since she moved to Melbourne a year ago. One such visit was to friends on the Gold Coast Hinterland, and on our way home, we called into a couple of those gated communities to have a squiz at all the flash houses and big boats. Do you have them round your way? They seem to be springing up like mushrooms after rain out here. Anywhere that's close to water has canal developments with enormous houses and even bigger boats tied up to the mandatory pontoon. On the Gold Coast, these tend to be built around golf courses, and they use terms like "resort living" to describe the way the residents lock themselves away behind big gates to distance themselves from the sweaty masses. One that we popped in to see, we'll call Secret Cove (not its real name), and it was the most bizarre place I've ever visited. Beautiful ... but bizarre.
Like its mates, this development has a golf course at its centre. It also has the ubiquitous gated residential area, but what sets it apart is the "marine village." Your experience in Secret Cove begins innocuously enough as you drive through wonderful parks dotted with mature trees surrounding the perfectly manicured links. Teams of men in green overalls drift in and out of your peripheral vision until you pass the security gates, then you wind your way through more perfect gardens into the aforementioned marine village. Here, you're confronted with what could be the movie set for a film set in ... well, a marine village, I suppose. There are dinky little shops, charming little themed restaurants and salty seaside benches where you can sit and rest awhile ... there's even a quaint old picture theatre. The developers, obviously in search of a gimmick to make their golf-course-gated-residential-resort stand out from all the others, hit upon the neato idea of golf-carts-as-transport. So all the Ladies-Who-Lunch emerge from behind their secure gates each morning and process down to the village in their colour co-ordinated, enviro-friendly electronic carts, don't you know, Dahling. Once the arduous journey is over, they park their carts in the Buggies Only reserved areas, head for the nearest ducky olde tea shoppe and sip their Earl Grey or double decaff skinny-cinos while marvelling at the riff-raff who are permitted to enter (at no cost, I must add). No doubt they congratulate themselves on their good fortune at having escaped real life and found refuge in Westworld. Mmmm, now I come to think about it, Westworld is what it resembles more than a movie set. Remember that t'riffic 70s film with Yul Brynner? No? Then refresh those little grey cells. Ah ... now you remember. Well, that's exactly what it was like driving around SecretWorld ...er Cove ... As I said earlier ... bizarre, very bizarre. Do you also remember those fateful words from the film, "nothing can go wrong?" Hmmm ... (I thought it was ironic that as I typed the heading for this week's newsletter, my fingers added the extra letter ...Sheesh!) As a public service, I thought I'd do a bit of ... ahem ...research, and I've put together a list of what to do when you've made the dreadful mistake of saying those words out loud and alerting the gods to your presence. 1. When giving a public presentation and a slide or overhead is projected upside down, you can say: * I'll get another one; this one must be defective. * It looks good no matter how you look at it. * For those of you sitting on your heads. (Read these and more here: http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-2583.html 2. When writing a story and it falls flat, it's probably because you're forgotten that: * a satisfying story has three basic elements: conflict, crisis and resolution of the conflict. * good, balanced, healthy people in happy situations are sweet, but boring. You want to be related to them, but you do not want them populating the only novel you've got to keep you busy on an eight hour flight. Read more here: http://www.saralaughs.com/blog/archives/000072.html 3. And a warning to think carefully before speaking: "Where do you think water comes from? The SKY?" -- From an overheard argument about water conservation "How much is that $10 watch?" "It depends. Are you coming from the north or south?" -- A man, when asked if one should turn east or west after getting off the freeway. Read more things people said here: http://rinkworks.com/said/words.shtml I think the last word on this topic belongs to an email I received a few days ago. It contained the comforting note that if things go wrong, the best solution was "to get oters to do tings for you." Anyone got any otters to spare? My apologies for leading you astray last week, and thank you to all those who took the time to track down the correct URL and signed up for my all new, all tap-dancing affiliate program after I mentioned it. I'm looking forward to having you help me spread the word about the importance of writing ... and to sending you some nice cheques! If you didn't have time to look last week, spare a minute or two now: http://www.write101.com/affsignup.htm (And doesn't that just reinforce what I've been saying all along about things going wrong? Sigh ...) This week's quiz: Write one word for each of the following expressions. In each case, the word must use one of the following prefixes: inter (between), sub (under) or bene (well): 1. to ask for a favour for someone 2. one who receives money etc at a person's death 3. lower in rank 4. ceasing and going on again at intervals 5. to scatter or place randomly 6. to put in the place of another 7. words of blessing 8. an order commanding a person's presence at a court 9. under the earth 10.a remark thrown into a conversation We couldn't discuss things going wrong without consulting that Master of the Wrong Turn, the Bad Choice, the Missed Opportunity ... our mate, Murphy: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first. If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway. Read lots more here: http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-laws.html Last week's quiz: Match the word in the list with its meaning below: conurbation, oneiric, nonage, caveat, patina, coruscate, atelier, provenance, execrable, itinerant 1. a pertaining to or suggestive of dreams - ONEIRIC2. detestable; extremely bad - EXECRABLE 3. a superficial layer - PATINA 4. origin; source - PROVENANCE 5. a warning or caution - CAVEAT 6. a period of immaturity; minority - NONAGE 7. a workshop; a studio - ATELIER 8. to sparkle - CORUSCATE 9. going from place to place - ITINERANT 10.an aggregation or continuous network of urban communities - CONURBATION Our Map of the World has some fascinating glimpses into the places our Merry Band call home. Drop by if you haven't been back for some time and don't forget to read the messages. (Just click List) : http://pub37.bravenet.com/guestmap/view.php?usernum=3170114826 A Little Something Extra If this week's ramble has inspired you to write an article about Things That Go Wrong ... or Wroing ... you'll need this article (making a welcome reappearance!) "Most magazine editors prefer authors send them a query letter rather than the entire article. This helps minimize the size of the unsolicited submissions stack towering over their desks, and allows them to quickly judge if an idea is right for their publication. Some editors will buy an article on the strength of the query alone, especially if the author is previously published." Read the rest of this helpful article on Writing a Bulletproof Article Query by Laura Backes here: http://www.write101.com/chquery.htm Word of the week: Ort (n) a small scrap or leaving of food after a meal is completed This wonderfully useful word comes from a Middle English word, orte (food left by animals) and dictionary.com tells us this probably originated from Middle Dutch. "Oh, Reginald. Who left that ort on the table?" Oxymoron of the week: Anarchy rules! Here's a Latin phrase to use when you're shopping: Mellilla, quid sentis? (Honey, what do you think?) Regards, Jennifer P.S. Want to donate to the upkeep of this newsletter? Here's how: 1. Pay by PayPal:
2. Click here to subscribe for a full year OR 3. Use your credit card on my secure order form: http://www.write101.com/fund.htm (You can also access the PayPal subscription link from this page if the link above didn't work for you. With PayPal, you can use your credit card, PayPal account or pay online using your own cheque account.) OR 4. Send a cheque (made payable to Jennifer Stewart): http://www.write101.com/fund.htm To unsubscribe from this list, send a blank email to: mailto:WritingTips-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com or go to the web site, at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WritingTips This menu will also let you change your subscription between digest and normal mode. Copyright 2004 Jennifer Stewart Individual articles copyrighted by
their authors.
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