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The Write Way 18 June 2004 Short Skirts and Brad Pitt Greetings, Well, she did it. Lavinia dragged me along to see Troy, as I predicted some weeks ago. And it certainly lived up to our expectations ... not only did Brad Pitt take his shirt of, he also ... but more of that anon. What's that? You haven't seen it yet? OK, I'll try not to give away too much of the plot, but there are a couple of things I have to tell you about. Now ... where shall I begin? The sets? These were your typical Hollyweird interpretation of Ancient Lands ... lots of imposing walls, imposing statues and imposing stairs. Can't imagine how anyone ever got anything done in those days, since all they ever did was sit around and look ... imposing. Read more about Troy here. The costumes were ... well, let's just say that Lavinia and I were pleased to see that Troy fulfilled our long-felt suspicions that Brad Pitt was born to wear short skirts! The casting? Hmmm ... Seems both ancient Greeks and ancient Trojans had access to an Avon network if the leading ladies were anything to go by. (D' you suppose they were clones? They looked astonishingly alike. Lavinia and I had to keep asking each other in sotto voce if this one was Helen or maybe that one was ... and that first one there was really Andromache and not Helen ... or maybe ...) And the Jennifer Aniston look-alike cast as Patroclus? Maybe that was the only way the producers could get our boy Brad to take the part (especially after he read the script).
Then there was Brad himself as super-hero Achilles. Yes, he was a bit of a show-off at the beginning ... and all that gazing off into the distance as he agonised over whether to take the body count into the tens of thousands or leave it comfortably in the thousands didn't quite gel with previous notions of Greek warriors. The rebellious thought occurred to me that someone who'd fought as long and hard as he appeared to do in all those close-up battle scenes may possibly have looked a lot worse for the experience than he did with those wee dollops of blood and grime arranged so artistically on his bulging biceps ... But hey, he did take his shirt off! Lavinia, poor girl, was distressed at the alarming way Hector's baby transmogrified from new-born babe to cute cuddly toddler and back again to new-born, depending on which character was holding him. But we both feel the need to say a few words in appreciation of Hecuba, Hector's mum. Now there's a woman who brought her son up the right way. When we saw Hector and Achilles preparing to fight to the death, we were pleased to see that Hector, unlike that rash boy, Achilles, did remember to wear his vest under his armour. No chafing for him! Perhaps that explains why Brad ...er Achilles had to take his clothes off so often. But that's all right dear, the women of the world thank you. Then there's the plot. It's no wonder the leaders spent so much time sitting around - they were exhausted from their two or three weeks spent waging war when experts say it lasted 10 years! And we won't go into the way poor old Menelaus got done in instead of hot-footing it back to Greece with his prize or how most of the main characters escaped out the back door ... We'll be generous and put it down to poetic licence! Read the "other" plot here. However, we must take umbrage at the actions of Achilles' mum, Thetis. If only she'd swapped feet when she dunked him in the sacred river Styx, he'd have lived to fight another day with perhaps a noble limp to hint at battles past, instead of expiring attractively on the only patch of green grass left as Troy burned. But as we left the theatre, blinking to accustom our eyes to the afternoon brightness, Lavinia and I agreed that Troy had settled at least one historical question to our satisfaction and that is this (and as a true patriot it pains me to say this but ...) Achilles had better legs then Hector! Oh, all right then ... Achilles had better legs than Hector. Is that better? Then is an adverb and means: at that time; next in time, space, or order; immediately afterward. Achilles gazed into the distance for his close-up then he took off his shirt. Than can be a conjunction and a preposition. As a preposition it's used only in comparisons: Achilles had better legs than Hector. As a conjunction dictionary.com explains it's:
This week's quiz: Match the words with their meanings: foppery, pedantic, benison, wend, garner, lachrymose, utile, chary, paean, eponymous 1. to go forward; to journey 2. tearful; causing tears 3. discreetly cautious; hesitant and vigilant about possible risks 4. relating to, or being one for whom something is named or is believed to be named 5. a blessing 6. a joyous song of praise or thanksgiving 7. to acquire by effort 8. a foolish action 9. useful 10.unimaginative; pedestrian And no, not all of these apply to the movie ... Raymond (from Sydney, Australia) had something to add about tautochrones, "The curve whose name is a cycloid belongs to a family of curves, if any exist other than a cycloid, that have tautochronic properties. An inverted cycloid is a tautochrone but all tautochones are not necessarily inverted cycloids. So I would say an inverted cycloid is tautochronic rather than a inverted cycloid is a tautochrone. "In a simple example when you use the term circle you know the shape of the curve, similarly if you use the term cycloid or inverted cycloid you know the shape of the curve. But because of the possibility that there are other shaped curves that may have tautochronic properties I cannot use the term tautochrone to describe the shape of the curve. However, if the inverted cycloid is indeed unique and is the only tautochrone then it should be called a tautochrone to describe both its shape and properties." Speaking of actors ... here's an interesting little tale Hannah found on her travels in cyberspace and sent me some weeks ago ... I knew it would come in handy if I kept it long enough: An actor comes home one day to find his home ransacked. As he stands in the rubble, stunned, he hears moaning from the upstairs bedroom. He races upstairs to find his wife, who's obviously been terrified by the intruder, hiding in the closet. "Through his tears he asks, "Who did this?" His wife whispers, "Your agent." The man brightens... "My agent? He came to the house? Wow!" Perhaps you have an idea for a screenplay to showcase the talents of our actor friend above, or maybe you'd like to write your autobiography or even family history. You may be in a position at work where you have to submit a report or prepare a proposal for a new venture. You might even be undertaking study of some sort ... Whatever your current position in the Food Chain, odds are that you'll need to write something just about every day, and I know you, you'll want to produce the best effort you can. If you feel that your writing skills are a bit rough around the edges for want of use, now's the time to give them a bit of a polish with my writing course. My husband, dear, patient man that he is, issued a little challenge to me last year... He set me a target for sales of the course. (I think he knows that if I don't have this sort of thing, I'll spend all my time at my desk answering emails and working on newsletter ideas instead of trying to earn my keep!) I've already met my target for the year (financial year, that is) but I'd love to surprise him and surpass his expectations, so I've decided to have one of those end-of-year sales like they do for shoes and washing machines. If you order the full course (in its you-beaut, new snazzy ebook form) before the end of the financial year (30 June) I'll give you both additional tutorials for the price of one. You'll get the full writing course ($127), the Student Tutorial and the Business Tutorial (normally $37 each) for one price of $164. How good is that, eh? You'll be happy because you have a great writing course to help you master the skills you must have to succeed in today's world ... You also get lots of great bonus articles and bits and pieces with each tutorial. When you order the Core tutorials, you'll receive:
When you order the Student Tutorial, you'll also receive:
When you order the Business Tutorial, you'll also receive:
Remember, if you order before 30 June, you'll receive all three parts of the course plus all three sets of bonuses for one low price. How can you resist? And if you order, my husband will be happy that his strategies have worked ... And I'll be happy because I've pleased him and you! Ready? Click here (Scroll down till you see the red Special Offer.) Last week's quiz: Here we go again, match each word in the list with its definition below: disabuse, render, apropos, guileless, diffidence, implacable, sophistry, vituperate, raffish, resigned 1. appropriate to the situation; apt - APROPOS 2. incapable of being placated - IMPLACABLE 3. disreputable; tawdry - RAFFISH 4. without deceit, honest - GUILELESS 5.unresisting, submissive - RESIGNED 6. berate, rail against, attack verbally - VITUPERATE 7. deliver, provide, represent - RENDER 8. shyness - DIFFIDENCE 9. fallacious reasoning, faulty logic - SOPHISTRY 10.to undeceive, correct a false impression - DISABUSE Our Map of the World has some fascinating glimpses into the places our Merry Band call home. Drop by if you haven't been back for some time: http://pub37.bravenet.com/guestmap/view.php?usernum=3170114826 A Little Something Extra If you write for a living, or you'd like to, then you need a website to showcase your skills. Moira Allen's book Writing.com discusses some creative Internet strategies to advance your writing career. She lists the five things every writer's website needs, which include a copyright notice, a hit counter and contact information. Moira gives a sample copyright notice you can adapt for your site and then explains why a hit counter does more than just boost your ego! It gives excellent detailed statistics about visitors to your site, and the best part is it's free. I've been using it for the past month and it was very easy to set up (although you do have to enter the code on every page you want to track). Perhaps just as important as things you should include are the three things Moira says your site can definitely do without ... and you may be surprised at what she recommends. Once you've followed the advice on how to design and promote your site, you'll be ready to tackle publishing your own newsletter and again, Moira explains how to do this. She even gives some sample contracts you can use if you pay for content and letters to help solicit paying customers. Then there's the chapter on creating your own e-book that covers everything from designing it to distributing it. This is a great resource for writers who want to control their own writing business. Click here to get your copy now. If you are thinking of selling your work as an ebook, I've been using an excellent program called eBookPro. You just write your book using your word processor, such as Word, then with a mere flick of the wrist (or click of a couple of buttons), you can convert it to a secure ebook. This is what I've used for my all new revised writing course ... and if I can do it, anyone can! Get your copy now! Word of the week: Polemic (n) a controversial argument, especially one refuting or attacking a specific opinion or doctrine. This word can also be used as an adjective when it means, "of or relating to a controversy, argument, or refutation." It comes from the Greek word polemos, meaning 'war,' so now you know why I chose it! If you received this newsletter from a friend and you'd like to have your very own copy delivered to you on Friday, just click here: mailto:WritingTips-subscribe@yahoogroups.com and why not spread the word? Send your friends a copy and invite
them to join our merry band - we number over 9,000 now. Please forward the
newsletter in its entirety and note that no portion of this is to be circulated
for profit. And a Latin phrase for Achilles when Legolas ... sorry Paris ... shot him with his little bow and arrow: Subito minime valeo. (All of a sudden I'm not feeling so good.) Regards, Jennifer P.S. Want to donate to the upkeep of this newsletter? Here's how: 1. Pay by PayPal:
2. Click here to subscribe for a full year OR 3. Use your credit card on my secure order form: http://www.write101.com/fund.htm (You can also access the PayPal subscription link from this page if the link above didn't work for you. With PayPal, you can use your credit card, PayPal account or pay online using your own cheque account.) OR 4. Send a cheque (made payable to Jennifer Stewart): http://www.write101.com/fund.htm To unsubscribe from this list, send a blank email to: mailto:WritingTips-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com or go to the web site, at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WritingTips This menu will also let you change your subscription between digest and normal mode. Copyright 2004 Jennifer Stewart Individual articles copyrighted by
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