Having enjoyed reading your
biographical, They
can't take that away from me... I
would love to post your article (for my) course for
seniors entitled Autobiography and Journaling ... and
let them read your article as a good example of what
I call the reader's writer, clearly expressed and easy
to read. (Howell)
The French language has
always appealed to me ... so I enjoyed Lavinia's
experiences en
France! (Di Sullivan, Perth, Australia)
I am an American and an
expat here since 1990. I have been a subscriber to Writing
Tip for a few years now and look forward to the Friday
editions. I archive by creating topics of the tips
relevant to me and often refer. (Mary, Lagos, Nigeria)
WRITERS!
Write
Your Own Best Seller!
This
year, don't just read a best-seller ... Write
your own using the software program that works
in the same way J K Rowling writes her Harry
Potter novels!
Who said Aussies would
bet on two flies crawling up a wall? Now I know
better! (Bill Denham, Chicago, USA)
I enjoy reading your page
every week, Jennifer, it's never boring and there's always
something to bring a smile to my face! (Kenny Dima,
Tenerife, Spain)
Great newsletter -
originally found this site after searching for
clarification on a contentious
point amongst work colleagues. Just had to look at old
issues and now look forward to Fridays (Juliet Wallace,
Manchester, ENGLAND)
First, some housekeeping matters to do with those dratted spoofers. I apologise
for the messages that have been arriving in your email, apparently from my
address. I hope you understand that they don't come from me. Any email I send
you will always have the date as the subject (as is the case with the
newsletter) and I very rarely send a message apart from the Friday newsletter.
Because the WritingTips email address is widely publicised on the Net, it's easy
for spoofers to find it and use it for their Evil Purposes ... I don't pretend
to understand how spoofing works, but I do understand your frustration when you
get these messages and think they're from me. Just delete them. You shouldn't
get any file attachments with any of these because I've turned off that facility
for the group. No-one else can post to the group either, so none of us are to
blame - we're all in the same boat, I'm afraid.
Sigh ... I wonder if we'll ever get back to those wonderful days when email was
used to communicate!
Umm ... I now have a very embarrassing confession to make ... I watch B. &
B. No, it's not some kinky activity that involves chains and leather
and copious amounts of wine ... it's
much worse. It's a soapie!
There. I've said it and I feel better for it.
What's that? You're not familiar with the tangled web that binds the folks who
inhabit the rarified world of the Bold and the Beautiful? But you'd love to find
out? Then I'm just the person you need.
Now I have to tell you at the outset that I just sort of fell into the habit of
watching; it wasn't a conscious choice on my part. Out here, the show comes on
at 4.30 each weekday afternoon and that's about the same time I'm in the
kitchen, pottering around deciding what to cook for dinner. So what could be
more natural than to switch on the telly for a bit of company? And what
magnificent companions there are in B. & B.
The scriptwriters (and I use the term loosely) must be the world's only living
brain donors because they come up with some doosies in the plot. Allow me to
illustrate ...
Among the central characters are square-jawed Ridge and his on-again, off-again
wife Brooke. A few short weeks ago, Ridge and Brooke married (for the second or
third time ... I've lost count ... there's nothing this show loves more than a
wedding). Ridge was deficient in the wife department to the tune of one
following the death of his former wife, Taylor. We know she died because we saw
her expire in his arms and collapse in an attractive heap on the hospital floor
after she'd been shot by Mad Sheila. (However, that doesn't necessarily mean
that she's really dead ... we may well see Taylor back in the full bloom of
health sometime soon. Stay tuned.)
So there they were on their honeymoon on an exotic island, having left their
assorted children back home with those obliging nannies. It's important that you
know a little about the children for what happens later, so let me introduce you
to them.
Brooke has two adult children, Bridget and Eric, from her marriage to Ridge's
father. Did I forget to mention that as well as having been married a couple of
times to Ridge, she's also been married to his father (or at least to the man
who thought he was Ridge's father ... more on that another time) and to his
brother? I did? Well, now you know. She also has a baby girl, the daughter she
had with Deacon, her daughter's husband. (What can I say? Brooke is just one of
those gals who likes to keep it all in the family!)
Then there are Ridge's three kids that he had with dead wife Taylor. There's a
young son, who seems to occasionally complain about homework so we know he's
school-age, but he's still very much of the age where he jumps up and down and
claps his hands with glee when his Aunt Bridget offers to read him and his
younger, twin sisters, a bedtime story. And there are the twins.
So, all the above were at home when the lovebirds celebrated their nuptials, and
all went well until Ridge was kidnapped by Mad Sheila. (Remember her? She'd been
caught and put in prison after shooting Taylor but had managed to escape with
the help of her prison warden. And here she is wreaking havoc - again.)
Ridge's recently discovered half-brother, Nick (I didn't tell you about him, did
I? Oh well, you'll just have to trust me on this ... we'll talk about him
another day), had come to rescue him, but had been captured, too. In the scuffle
that ensued during their rescue, Ridge fell into a fiery furnace.
Aah!
And we
saw him fall, as did Brooke, who was devastated. So devastated that the next
night she was back at the aforementioned fiery furnace (which, by the way, was
still burning brightly). Nick also happened by at the same time and prevented
her (just in the nick of time, you could say) from throwing herself into the furnace
after her husband.
What is a girl to do? After some heavy sighing and close-ups, she chose to throw
herself into Nick's arms instead, since he was there and he had all the
qualities Brooke admires and needs in a man (viz. he was there). They consoled
each other in the only way the good folks at B. & B. know, and before you
could say "there's a baby growing inside her," there was a baby
growing inside her. But whose was it?
Poor Brooke! She's just witnessed the rather grisly death of the love of her
life ... or has she? No, dear reader, she hasn't - because Ridge survived!
Hooray! He was rescued by a sultry damsel who just happened to be passing by and
to know that there was, in fact, a back door to the fiery furnace. Phew! What a
lucky break!
Not only did he survive, but so, too, did his jet black locks ... There was not
so much as a seared eyebrow to show for his brush with death. Phew again!
OK, are you still with me? Good, because we're getting close to the reason I
started all this (fool that I am!)
The story so far: Ridge is back, Brooke has a bun in the oven and the kids are
as we left them - little kids.
Then, Brooke confesses to Ridge; they opt for a DNA test to determine paternity
and discover that the sprog is Nick's; Ridge is distraught and takes it out on
Nick; Brooke decides to do the honourable thing (that's your cue to fall about
laughing) and leaves. We see nothing more of her for several episodes, but know
that Ridge is concerned because he still loves her and he really, really wanted her to stay
despite the fact that the baby-growing-inside-her wasn't his.
Now, and this is the important part, we hear that Brooke hasn't yet had the
baby, so we'd be forgiven for assuming that only a few months at most have
passed, but what's this? We're back at Ridge's house. (Remember his little kids -
knee-high to grasshoppers all three?) Well, hang on to your socks, boys and
girls, have I got a surprise for you!
Scene 1: Ridge calls up the stairs to Thomas (his little boy) and a voice over
announces that the part of Thomas is now being played by another actor. The door
to the bedroom opens and out onto the landing steps a teenager who's as tall as
Ridge!
Hello? Casting?
The Kid then attempts to seduce Dad's old childhood chum who was attempting to
seduce him because his mother had ... Oh, you don't really want to know all
that, do you?
Sheesh!
Golly, do they think we're a few sandwiches short of a picnic?
Maybe, but I'll still be dashing out from the kitchen again next week, just to
see if the writers can top this one!
Words such as "umm, sheesh, golly, aargh, oh," and "phew" go
by the rather flash name of interjections.
An interjection can stand on its own but often appears at the beginning of a
sentence. It's usually followed by an exclamation point or a comma and it
expresses a strong emotion, excitement or surprise. While they're great fun to
use in informal writing, they don't really have a place in any sort of formal
work - bit of a pity really.
"Interjection" comes from the Latin words for "throw" (iacere)
and "among" (inter). So an interjection is a word or construction that
is "thrown among" the words in a sentence. Here's all you could
possibly need or want to know about interjections: http://grammar.englishclub.com/interjections.htm
A few weeks ago, I used the interjection O! and a number of people wondered
about the difference between Oh and O.
Most dictionaries list the two as interchangeable; I've always used Oh! for
everyday exclamations and saved O! for when I want to wax lyrical about
something.
When you get a ladder in your stockings as you get out of the car, "Oh!
Ruddy thing!"
When you write home about your travels to parts exotic, "O! The joy of
breakfast on the Orient Express!"
Hey! It works for me!
Read any good books lately? Here are some you'd probably enjoy - if they'd been
written. These are two-in-one books:
"Gone with the Wind in the Willows"
Thrills, romance, voles.
"Go Ask Alice in Wonderland"
Teen girl becomes drug addict, takes the trip of her life.
"From Russia with Love Story"
James Bond discovers that the love of his life has a terminal illness. Mind your
sides!
Match each word with its meaning: facile, enervate, abstruse, flaunt,
capricious, flout, catharsis, banal, exacerbate, derogatory
1.. release
2.. to disregard with contempt
3.. show off
4.. glib
5.. to weaken
6.. monotonous
7.. done on a whim
8.. to make worse
9.. insulting
10.. hard to understand
Since we've been pondering the
ponderous doings of fictional families, I thought it would be interesting to
broaden our vision and see what some people have thought about TV's big brother,
the movie. Here are some reviews I found after entering a search for "worst
films."
Can't Stop the Music
"By 1980 disco was gasping on life support. Unfortunately, nobody told the
Village People it was time to pull the plug. So moviegoers were subjected to
this last ode to mirror balls, disguised as an inspirational biopic of how the
group's construction worker, cop, Indian, GI, cowboy, and biker joined forces
and learned to spell YMCA."
Battle for the Planet of the Apes
"By this fifth installment in the simian saga, the story wasn't just about
monkeys, but apparently being directed, written, and produced by them, too.
Battle was slapped together for a third of the original's budget (the costumes
are moth-eaten) and the climactic showdown pits ape against humans in slow
school buses."
Phone Booth
"When killer Kiefer Sutherland tells Colin Farrell that "your sins
have finally caught up to you," he may have been talking directly to the
audience. Because suffering through this movie is as close to doing penance as
it gets. Farrell is a corrupt publicist who can't leave a phone booth, or else
sniper Sutherland will shoot him from a nearby building. This could have worked
as a half-hour "Twilight Zone," but director Joel Schumacher (of the
critically drubbed last two Batman flicks) pads it to try and build tension. Oh
no! Hookers want to use the phone! As the (mostly) off-screen voice, Sutherland
turns in one of the worst performances of the year. His ov-er-ly-de-lib-er-ate,
gravelly delivery and faux-spooky laugh (at one point, he actually gives a
"mooo-ha-ha-ha!") keeps the audience grinning throughout this silly
and ultimately pointless thriller."
Gigli
"Surprise! Despite a palpable lack of chemistry between its stars, "Gigli"
is not the year's worst movie. It is, however, as bad as you've heard: the
poorly accented Ben Affleck, as a wholly unconvincing tough guy, and Jennifer
Lopez, as an equally unconvincing lesbian, abduct a developmentally disabled
kid. For two agonizing hours. Trust us, "Rain Man," it ain't. "Gigli"
is crammed full of memorable moments, and not in a good way. See J-Lo's
girlfriend slit her wrists! Watch as Affleck cuts off a corpse's thumb with a
plastic knife! Marvel at a fish eating a chunk of brain! But the
gross-for-grossness-sake scenes are hardly the worst moments of the film: J-Lo's
remarkably unbelievable, nearly three-minute monologue describing how she's
going to gouge out a bully's eye is as excruciating as anything on screen in
2003. "Gigli" is terrible. Really."
Invincible
"This film starred Billy Zane, who I usually like a lot and it was produced
by Mel Gibson, so I expected it to be at least competent. After about three
minutes, I gave up the will to live."
Pearl Harbor
"I'd rather have chewed my own arm off than sit through something as putrid
as Pearl Harbor."
Anaconda
"In this hokey film, a documentary film crew traveling the Amazon River is
attacked by giant snakes. But the scariest moments in "Anaconda" don't
come from the phony looking snakes, they come from the scene-munching Jon Voight,
who is the group's guide down the river. For reasons still unexplained, Voight
acquired a ridiculous drunken Spanish pimp accent for the role. "Mr. Cranky
Rates The Movies" said, "Among other pathetic things, 'Anaconda'
contains a performance by Jon Voight that is so awful and full of clichés that
thirty years from now, 10-year-old bullies who happen to rent the film will be
beating the crap out of Voight's great-grandchildren just for being related to
him."
1. the superscript sign used to indicate the omission of a letter or
letters from a word, the possessive case, or the plurals of numbers, letters,
and abbreviations - APOSTROPHE
2. very brief, close-fitting two-piece bathing suit worn by women - BIKINI
3. variety of hard calcite, translucent and sometimes banded - ALABASTER
4. a military officer acting as secretary and confidential assistant to a
superior officer of general or flag rank - AIDE-DE-CAMP
5. strikingly unconventional and far-fetched in style or appearance; odd -
BIZARRE
6. a person who engages in an art, science, study, or athletic activity as a
pastime rather than as a profession - AMATEUR
7. the middle class - BOURGEOISIE
8. listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest; boredom -
ENNUI
9. having a pattern of brightly colored diamond shapes - HARLEQUIN
10.to make a copy of, usually with the intent to defraud; forge - COUNTERFEIT
This week, a first-hand account by writer, Stan Popovich, of what it takes to
get your first book published.
"Wondering how to get your writing ideas published? I am a first time
author who recently got his self help book on managing fear published and I was
able to do this even though I didn't have any experience in the publishing
field. Let me explain.
"Over the years, I collected much information on how to manage fear and
anxiety. Although I didn't have a background in the religious or psychology
fields, I did a lot of research including discussions with various professionals
in both fields on how to manage fear and anxiety. One day I was wondering if I
could develop a small book from these notes. I went to the bookstores to read
various books on how to submit a book idea to some of the publishing companies.
I learned that a writer must first develop a query letter to send to the various
publishers and then submit a manuscript. For the next few months, I organized my
notes into a small manuscript and did much editing to get my manuscript ready to
send to the various publishers. I then wrote up a query letter and explained the
benefits of how my book was unique to what was on the market. I mentioned that
my book would be complete and cover all the ways to manage fear unlike a lot of
other books in the market today. My book would also be easy to read and results
oriented, and it would be non technical. I tried to explain that my book
provided an important need to people who manage fear and anxiety.
"I then went to some of the writing sites on the Internet that contained a
listing of various publishers who would be interested in my self help book. I
then submitted my query letter to these publishers and eventually was asked to
submit my manuscript. I followed this process for a little less than a year.
"During this time, I still talked to various writers on the Internet and
asked them how I could increase my chances of getting published. A writer told
me that if I focused on the small niche publishing companies, that I would
increase my chances of getting my book published. He was right. It took a lot of
work and persistence; however I found it much easier to market my book idea to
the small Print On Demand Publishing companies. I eventually found a small
publishing company who really liked my book idea. I then briefly worked with my
publisher to turn my manuscript into a small easy to read book.
"I eventually was able to get my book published by explaining the need and
the importance of my book in my query letter, developing a well written
manuscript, and focusing on small publishing companies. It is not easy to get
your work published, however with a lot of research, persistence and a
willingness to continuously improve it is possible."
About the Author
Stanley Popovich endured his share of fear and anxiety over the years. Unable to
find the help he needed, the author decided to undertake his own research. Mr.
Popovich doesn't have a background in the religious or psychology fields,
however, the author has done much research including discussions with various
professionals in both fields on how to manage fear and anxiety. The author
developed this book based on his personal experiences. The result is this easy
to read book on how to manage fear and anxiety that is located at http://www.trebleheartbooks.com/mvStanPopovich.html
If, like Stanley, you have knowledge or experience in any area that would
interest others, why not write a book about it? If you think you can't write a
whole book, read this: http://www.write101.com/letters/writeabook.htm
Word of the week: Boeotian (adj) Boeotia is a region of Ancient Greece
noted for its moist, thick atmosphere and the dullness and stupidity of its
inhabitants, so it's used to describe anyone who's stupid; dull; obtuse. Just
the sort of word the B. & B. scriptwriters might use about their viewers ...
If you received this newsletter from a friend and you'd like to have your very
own copy delivered to you on Friday, just click here: mailto:WritingTips-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
and why not spread the word? Send your friends a copy and invite them to join
our merry band - we number over 9,000 now.
Oxymoron of the week: realistic soapie
And this week's Latin phrase ... well, you'll know why I chose it when you read:
How's that for a string of meaningful interjections?
Regards,
Jennifer
P.S. Want to donate to the upkeep of this newsletter? Here's how:
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