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The Write Way 30 January 2004 As Hamlet Said to Polonius ... Greetings, Our second wet weekend (that's two consecutive weekends in a row!) resulted in a rash urge to have a bit of a Tidy Up in my office. I've always had a reputation for being organised, and when I was teaching, my desk was the first stop for other staff who'd misplaced memo sheets from Admin, lost copies of exam papers or needed master sheets to run off exercises for their classes. What can I say? I'm one of those people who resents wasting time in frantic searches for bits of paper. I just like to be able to find things easily, which is why my bookshelves are organised by subject and chronology ... my Ancient History bookcase has all the Prehistory books on the top shelf, then Sumerian and Egyptian, then Greek and Roman and so on down to floor level. Then I have another bookcase for Mediaeval and Modern History (this time organised by country as well as chronology).
My English bookcase has separate shelves for poetry, novel, drama (organised chronologically again) and language. OK, I'll pause now while you make your comments about obsessively organised people ... Good - glad we've got that out of the way! What I started to tell you was that as so often happens, my Tidy Up got sidetracked as I unearthed long-lost favourites, and I just had to pass on some of the gems that had me giggling to myself as I sat on the floor, surrounded by piles of books (in neat, tidy piles - of course). One dog-eared classic is a paperback called Odd Spots - a compilation of one of those newspaper columns where people send in, well, Odd Spots ... such as the story about the government-funded survey that came up with the startling revelation that the most common reasons given for entering hospital in Australia are sickness, ill-health and injury. Who'd have known, eh? Then there's the Melbourne van driver who was defending a charge of failing to stop at a red light ... he declared that his Commer (the van) had come to a full stop. Over in London, red-faced shop owners had trouble explaining why they'd accepted forged pound notes ... they weren't especially close forgeries since one side showed the Queen naked, while the other had Britannia in the same state of undress. And one large department store's book department had a sign proclaiming "Bibles and Dictionery." Another book I found hiding behind a more sombre tome is called Your Walrus Hurt the One You Love, and it has a collection of alarming medical mishaps ... including the swimmer who was revived by artificial insemination; the over-40 man who was suffering from a midwife crisis; the woman, fearful of another pregnancy, who insisted her husband wear a condominium and the unfortunate soul who severed his juggler vein. This same little book records that Eugene O'Neill's greatest achievement was winning the Pullet Surprise; that the Holy Land is a Mecca for tourists and that a popular Italian dish is camel only. Food Oddments Speaking of food ... how about wrapping your laughing gear around some of these delectable dishes: * Smoked solomon * Boiled god in parsley * Steamed dick with vegetables * Battered soul * Or hard boiled eggs filled with a delicate curried mouse? Yum! So the topic of today's newsletter? As Hamlet said to Polonius, "Words, words, words." Trev Quinn (from Saskatchewan) provided the inspiration for this topic with the note he sent me last week: "I must say that I admire your spunk in maintaining your publication schedule in spite of the viral invasion. (Partly because of your influence and partly in order to assure myself that I wasn't saying something nasty, I took time out to look up "spunk" in the dictionary. Please consider the "courage" connotation rather than the "fiery temper" or the "kind of tinder made from a species of fungus" ones.)" Now I have to confess that I've never come across that latter usage, have you? But spunk really does mean "wood that readily takes fire; touchwood; a kind of tinder made from a species of fungus; punk; amadou." It comes from a Gaelic word spong, meaning tinder; and that word comes originally from the Latin spongia, a sponge. And before you ask about amadou ... dictionary.com explains that this is "a spongy, combustible substance, prepared from fungus which grows on old trees; German tinder; punk. It has been employed as a styptic by surgeons, but its common use is as tinder, for which purpose it is prepared by soaking it in a strong solution of niter." Amadou comes from a French word amadouer: to allure, caress and also includes the meaning of lure, bait. See? Well, I can see the connection ... you lure the fire with soft, dry fungus ... Obvious really. And then that brings us to punk ... this is yet another word for tinder, but is also used to describe "any of various substances that smolder when ignited, used to light fireworks; Chinese incense." dictionary.com tells us that it may be of eastern Algonquian origin. (And Algonquian refers to "a family of North American Indian languages spoken from Labrador to South Carolina and west to the Great Plains.") When used as an adjective and a slang term, punk means "of poor quality; worthless; weak in spirits or health." OneLook dictionary has more to add: "The noun punk refers to a miscreant. In prison slang, punk refers to someone who is treated as a sexual submissive." Knowing that, why would any kids want to call themselves punks? Fascinating stuff, isn't it? One word just leads to another and another until half the day has flashed by and you still haven't got any real work done. No - that's it for this week. Sorry, if you want to look up styptic you'll just have to do it yourself ... Oh, all right then; styptic is an adjective that refers to a substance that "produces contractions; stops bleeding; has the quality of restraining haemorrhage when applied to the bleeding part; astringent" and it comes from the Latin stypticus (to contract). Sigh ... may as well finish the job now, but this is the last one. Niter is potassium nitrate (saltpetre) and is used as a fertiliser and an explosive. dictionary.com traces an interesting history for this little word, from the Egyptian ntr, to Greek nitron, to Latin nitrum, to Old French and Middle English nitre. Phew! That's along way round! And that, Girls and Boys, is what happens when someone sends you an interesting word. This week's quiz: A couple of these just don't sound like their meaning: caveat, encomium, animadversion, proselytise, corpulent, apocryphal, coruscate, doyen, germane, flaneur 1. to induce someone to convert to one's religious faith, political party, cause 2. appropriate or fitting; relevant 3. one who strolls about aimlessly; a lounger; a loafer 4. an often formal expression of warm or high praise 5. a warning or caution; a cautionary qualification or explanation to prevent misunderstanding 6. fat, stout; obese 7. the senior member of a body or group; one who is knowledgeable or uniquely skilled as a result of long experience in some field of endeavour 8. harsh criticism or disapproval 9. to give off or reflect bright beams or flashes of light; to sparkle 10.of doubtful authority or authenticity; equivocal; fictitious; spurious; false A couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and the husband was asked to say a few words. He began, "From the first day we met, I knew she was going to be my cell mate." And some points to ponder: Dawn is nature's way of telling you to go to bed. Don't be sexist. Sheilas hate that. You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.Last week's quiz: centripetal force, anabatic, doldrums, aphelion, katabatic, syzygy, perihelion, centrifugal force, corona, solstice 1. the point on the earth's orbit that is farthest from the sun - APHELION 2. the force required to keep an object moving in a curved or circular path. It is directed inwards toward the centre of the curved path - CENTRIPETAL FORCE 3. a wind that is created by air flowing uphill - ANABATIC 4. either of the two times of the year when the sun is at its greatest distance from the celestial equator - SOLSTICE 5. the point of the earth's orbit that is nearest to the sun - PERIHELION 6. a pastel halo around the moon or sun created by the diffraction of water droplets - CORONA 7. the apparent force in a rotating system that deflects masses radially outward from the axis of rotation - CENTRIFUGAL FORCE 8. a wind that is created by air flowing downhill - KATABATIC 9. belt of calms and light winds between the northern and southern trade winds of the Atlantic and Pacific - DOLDRUMS 10.the points in the moon's orbit about the earth at which the moon is new or full - SYZYGY After my musings about the weather last week, I received this from Laura: "While you're on the weather theme, I thought you might be interested in a link to the people who are on the weather front-line: the State Emergency Service. The NSW SES in particular has a very informative web site: www.ses.nsw.gov.au." Laura E. Goodin (NSW) And while pleading the stress of my close encounter with the dread email virus/spoofing affair, I still have to thank Jack Zhang for finding the typos in last week's newsletter. Having problems with your 'puter? Try this: Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng. Ed Micca from New York suggests we try to " pair up the pearls of wisdom in A with the pearls of wisdom in B: A: 1. All that glitters is not gold. 2. A fool and his money are soon parted. B: 1. An addled-pated beetlehead and his specie divaricate with startling prematurity. 2. All that coruscates with effulgence is not, ipso facto, aurous." Clever! Make your mark on the Map of the World: http://pub37.bravenet.com/guestmap/view.php?usernum=3170114826 A Little Something Extra Many of us fantasise about writing for major magazines and newspapers, but face it, Kidlets, writing is like everything else that we carbon-based bipeds aspire to - success comes as the result of hard work, persistence and knowledge, not wishful thinking. And one sure way to acquire that knowledge is to learn from people who've not only been there and done that, but also have the T-shirt to prove it! One such person is David Taylor, who spent nine years as executive editor at Rodale Press - let's just say he knows what editors and publishers want. David writes, "Editors are always in need of fresh ideas and writing." Submit a story idea that suits a particular section of the magazine, is written in the publication's distinctive voice, follows the House Style Rules and is in some way controversial, and you're on your way to acceptance. David continues, "Controversy sells, and editors know it. If you can handle a controversial subject delicately and effectively, it may be the kind of story that an editor is looking for to gain an edge over the competition. ... Finding a story that piques the media's interest can create buzz for the magazine and paychecks for you." Sound advice. David offers 300 pages of similar insider secrets for selling your writing in his book, The Freelance Success Book. His step-by-step guide on how to break into the hidden freelance market offered by newspaper weeklies and dailies started bells ringing for me and has had me poring over my local publications and making lists of suitable non-local topics to write about. This was one of those why-didn't-I-think-of-that moments for me ... it's so obvious when you consider the number of papers that are published every day in every country. (And while I'd love to tell you what these steps are, that wouldn't be fair to David. Besides, you can get your very own copy of the book, then do as I've done and decorate what seems like very second page with coloured stickems on all the good bits!) Throughout the book there are a number of Writer's Toolboxes that contain both online and print resources. Resources such as newspaper directories (so you can search for suitable publications to approach with your ideas), manuscript submission services, places to check what your e-rights are, legal advice regarding copyright laws and contracts, how to self-publish and more. Then there are sample freelance contracts, agreements, release forms and invoices that David has kindly given permission for the rest of us to copy. Read more about The Freelance Success Book by going to my home page and scrolling down till you see the name of the book, conveniently located on the right-hand side so you don't need to move your mouse too far! Get your copy now: http://www.write101.com Word of the week: Bricolage (n) Construction or something constructed by using whatever materials happen to be available. What a useful word! It comes from the French bricole, meaning a trifle; small job. If you received this newsletter from
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copy and invite them to join our merry band - we number over 8,500 now. This week's Latin phrase is guaranteed to silence even the most annoying armchair philosophers: Si minor plus est, ergo nihil sunt omnia. (If less is more, then nothing is everything.) Regards, Jennifer P.S. Want to donate to the upkeep of this newsletter? Here's how: 1. Pay by PayPal:
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