The Write Way

21 November 2003

Vroom ... Vroom ...

Greetings,

Our car went in for its regular service last week and while I was waiting for it, I pondered (as you do), how automobiles have changed over the years. (And before you even think about making any cheeky comments that include the terms "horseless carriage," "man waving red flag" or the like, may I just warn you to consider carefully ... That's all I'm saying.)

This car is not a "new" car; it's around 4 years old, but it has all the newish computerised gizmos, and there's no way my husband would ever attempt to touch anything under its bonnet. This is a far cry from the Olden Days when he'd be out there every weekend, happy as a lark with a spanner in one hand and an oily rag in the other, tinkering. You know, time was, when normal human beings really could have a go at maintaining their cars and fixing basic mechanical problems.

I remember my dad could disappear under a recalcitrant car and work wonders with a jam tin and a bit of wire. We had one car when I was a girl (Ahem! I thought I warned you earlier about those comments ...) that had a dodgy gearbox - it kept jumping out of gear at the most inopportune moments. Dad had rigged an ingenious system to keep it in gear using one of mum's knitting needles, some fishing line and the ubiquitous wire. It worked like a charm when he was driving, because he knew how to slip the knitting needle out of the sling attached to the steering wheel column and slot it neatly into the required hole that held each gear in place.

The unfortunate salesman who took the car for a test drive when we were trading up to a newer model wasn't quite so deft. Dad dined out for years after on the story of the man trudging up the road to where we were all waiting, opening his hand to reveal assorted pieces of knitting needle, wire and gear teeth and muttering in an apologetic sort of way, "I've had a little problem with the gears ..." 

We stood looking at the man, watching him for signs that this was one of those wacky, madcap pranks you saw on Candid Camera ...

Gee! You're quick today! 

I see you spotted the redundancy before the ink was dry on the page. If we were looking at him, we had to be watching him, didn't we? So there's no need to waste an extra word. Save it up for a special occasion and you'll be glad you did.

Here are some commonly used redundancies that you're sure to hear (but never utter, of course):

And here are some redundant expressions:

"It's déjà vu all over again."

"I never make predictions, especially about the future."

"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined."

"Sometimes you can observe a lot just by watching."

"The answer's an affirmative 'yes'."

"I don't normally do requests, unless I'm asked to."

If you'd like to send a gift - free or otherwise - to someone Near and Dear, what about a book? Nothing says, "I had no idea what else to buy for you" quite like a book does. You'll find dozens and dozens of great books here. 

This week's quiz: 

Match up the adjectives with their meaning:

We've all done it, haven't we? Tried to sound all important and then come out with a clanger ... like "Wave the sails!" when we're at a Green Peace rally or "Go help me sod," at the end of a prayer.

Then you'll definitely empathise with the poor unfortunates who uttered the following during a game of cards:

And these:

Dan found those wonderful examples of Spoonerisms on his travels and the following are from the originator, the Rev William Archibald Spooner:

Last week's quiz:

Match up the words and their definitions:

varlet, perfidious, bogus, Götterdämmerung, nefarious, viper, velocipede, pawky, malfeasance, defalcation, saurian

1. cunning and sly - PAWKY

2. commission of an act that is unlawful; an evil deed - MALFEASANCE

3. villainous; wicked - VIPER

4. a rascal; a knave - VARLET

5. old-fashioned bicycle with pedals on the front wheel - VELOCIPEDE (Yes, that was a trick one ... although it does sound as if it should fit with all these, doesn't it? "Never darken my door again, you, you, velocipede, you!")

6. violating good faith or vows; treacherous; faithless - PERFIDIOUS

7. the fraudulent appropriation of funds entrusted to your care - DEFALCATION

8. fake, false, not genuine - BOGUS

9. lizard-like; pertaining to lizards - SAURIAN

10. twilight of the gods; turbulent ending of a regime or an institution - GÖTTERDÄMMERUNG

For those of you with a mathematical bent, here's a snippet that Lonnie found: "USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."

Hmmm. And numbers don't lie ...

Thank you to everyone who's made a comment on the Map of the World - it's never to late to make your mark: http://pub37.bravenet.com/guestmap/view.php?usernum=3170114826    

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A Little Something Extra

If you're undecided about whether to write in the first person or to let your ego take charge and become the omniscient and omnipotent third person narrator, here's a short article that outlines the advantages of each: http://www.knowledge-download.com/ebook-article-apr56.html

It's easy with this 200+ page manual that takes you step by step through the process of writing. Everything you could ever want to help you write and publish your book in the shortest possible time is in it. You also get an extensive collection of audiotapes so you can learn while you drive or while you relax if you're one of those people who learns better by listening to information. 

And there's a “QuickStart” audiotape that will help you over that most difficult part - getting started. This tape gives you all the incentive and help you need to overcome the first big hurdle on the path to writing your book. So, where do you get it? Here: http://www.write101.com/letters/writeabook.htm 

Word of the week: Picaresque (adj) involving clever rogues or adventurers especially as in a type of fiction. "Of or relating to a genre of usually satiric prose fiction originating in Spain and depicting in realistic, often humorous detail the adventures of a roguish hero of low social degree living by his or her wits in a corrupt society." (dictionary.com) 

Onelook.com explains, "The first picaresque novel was Lazarillo de Tormes, which was published anonymously in Spain in 1554. The title character Lazarillo is a picaro (Spanish for "rogue" or "rascal") who must live by his wits in an impoverished country full of villains and fools."

It's got nothing to do with the scenery!

Oxymoron of the week: Summer is advancing on us out here, which means that wardrobes across the nation are being turned upside down as residents search for less constricting clothing and discover ... (drum roll please, Mr Music) ... designer shorts.

A nifty Latin phrase that we could have used when confronted with the remains of our gear box:

Hodie adsit, cras absit. (Here today, gone tomorrow.)

[HOH-dee-ay AD-seet, KRAHS AB-seet.]

Regards,

Jennifer

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