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The Write Way 14 November 2003 The Third Golden Rule Greetings, Remember a couple of months back, I discussed the three Golden Rules of Real Estate and lamented the fact that I didn't have an example to illustrate the third rule? But I told you I was confident it wouldn't be too long before one presented itself? It wasn't. It did. As often happens in families, once one member has up and moved, it's not long before everyone else gets itchy feet as well, and so it came as no real surprise to us when our twenty-something daughter announced she was thinking of moving to Melbourne. For those of you not au fait with Aussie geography, Melbourne is on the southernmost coast of the country, and we presently reside on the north-east coast ... around 2,000 kilometres away.
Our daughter is one of those people who, when she announces she's "thinking of moving," really means that she's already applied for jobs, had interviews, been put on the short list and is just waiting confirmation that she has the position and has to start next week. And so it was this time. She had two weeks to find a place to live in Melbourne, pack up her unit, arrange for a removalist company to transport all her worldly possessions to her new abode, find a tenant for her current place and get herself, her belongings and the cat down there. All went well until the eleventh hour. She'd learnt from her brother's experiences and had followed the first and second Golden Rules of Real Estate i.e. she had everything in writing - everything! The spanner in the works came in the form of a horse race, not just any old horse race, but THE horse race - the Melbourne Cup. The race-that-stops-the-nation quite literally stops business in Melbourne, which has a public holiday to celebrate. And what day had our darling arranged to move? Yep. Melbourne Cup day. But undaunted, she rearranged her flight so she could leave the day before she'd originally planned (and she got it in writing); she contacted the removalists, told them to come a day early (and got a written reply from them, acknowledging the change); she rang the real estate agent who was handling her rental down there, told them about the change and that she'd send her friend to pick up the key a day early. They said she'd have to put it in writing. (See? I told you it was the Golden Rule of Real Estate.) So she faxed them details about the change and an authorisation for her friend to collect the key the following Monday, and they faxed back a reply that all would be well. Now, travel with me, dear reader, as we sit on a fluffy white cloud above the scene that sunny Monday morn ... See our beautiful daughter, the hope of a smooth move into her new home writ large across her beaming face as she emerges from her car. See two burly removalists jump down from the van which is double parked in the street as they await instructions about where to unload. See the cat, still in its carry-case, a mite restless after its two-hour flight and 40-minute car trip from the airport. But where is our key-collecting friend? See our daughter call her friend on the mobile phone ... Watch her face when she hears that her friend is caught in a traffic jam caused by a parade through the city of all the horses in the Melbourne Cup. Listen as she explains the delay to the removalists. Wait as she takes the cat across to a park, attaches its harness and lets it out for a short walk. Share the joy as her phone rings and her friend announces she's arrived at the Estate Agent's office. Gnash your teeth, beat your breast and let your wails of woe mingle with hers when you hear the office is shut! They've decided to take a long weekend because it's Melbourne Cup and they haven't bothered to notify clients who may be in the throes of moving interstate. Wave bye-bye to the truck as it takes our daughter's furniture to an expensive two-night stay in a storage depot. Sigh. So what, then, is the third Golden Rule of Real Estate? "Any encounter between a mere mortal and a real estate agent is sure to end in lachrymation!" OK - it's sure to end in tears, then. Lachrymation (sometimes 'lachrimation' or even 'lacrimation') comes from the Latin word lacrima (tear) and is one of the many thousands of words we've borrowed from the Romans. AskOxford says that a computerized survey of roughly 80,000 words in the old Shorter Oxford Dictionary (3rd edition) found that the English language was composed of the following:
Now you know why I love giving Latin phrases every week! And if you love Latin too, you can have daily reminders in the form of coffee mugs, shirts, undies, tote bags, caps, mousepads and even a clock. "How?" I hear you ask. With this cache of artefacts unearthed from a recent excavation in ancient Rome ... Don't believe me? OK, would you believe I have a range of natty bits and pieces like a tote bag for the shopper in you that proudly proclaims "Emptrix nata sum!" which you and I both know translates as, "Born to shop!" Or what about a range of items bearing the warning, "Noli me tangere!" (Don't touch me!), or "Bene est rex esse" (It's good to be king)? Or a clock with the wise inscription, "Tempis fugit!" (Time flies)? These make great gifts for the person who is difficult to buy for every year. Drop by and have a look: http://www.cafeshops.com/write101 To finish the story of The Move ... While I was advising contacting TV stations, newspapers, consumer watchdogs and the like, my daughter pointed out that the agency was not going to pay for the extra trip the removalists had to make nor for the additional storage; she didn't expect the removalists to wear the costs since they'd turned up in good faith, so there was really no point in getting all het up about it, was there? And she was right, of course. In the Grand Scheme of Things, what does it matter that she had to spend a couple of nights staying with her best friend instead of in her own place? Then she reminded me of our family motto, "It's only money," and we both felt better - especially when we realised what a great tale she has to add to her repertoire when dinner conversation turns to swapping horror stories about moving! Our family mottoes are described more fully here: http://www.write101.com/W.Tips159.htm and here: http://www.write101.com/W.Tips232.htm This week's quiz: Match up the words and their definitions: varlet, perfidious, bogus, Götterdämmerung, nefarious, viper, velocipede, pawky, malfeasance, defalcation, saurian 1. cunning and sly 2. commission of an act that is unlawful; an evil deed 3. villainous; wicked 4. a rascal; a knave 5. old-fashioned bicycle with pedals on the front wheel 6. violating good faith or vows; treacherous; faithless 7. the fraudulent appropriation of funds entrusted to your care 8. fake, false, not genuine 9. lizard-like; pertaining to lizards 10. twilight of the gods; turbulent ending of a regime or an institution Well, yes, I suppose there may be just a teensy theme running through some of these words ... Can't think why I'd have done that ... Here are some t'riffic puns that Tom found and thought we'd get a giggle from. He assures me these really are known as "Tom Swifties"... Hmmm I need a pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly."Oops! There goes my hat!" said Tom off the top of his head. "I can no longer hear anything," said Tom deftly. "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank. "This must be an aerobics class," Tom worked out. "I only have diamonds, clubs and spades," said Tom heartlessly. Clever. Last week's quiz: Match up these often confused words and their meanings: perspicuity, perspicacity, complaisant, complacent, transcendently, transcendentally, euphemism, euphuism, depreciate, deprecate 1. affectedly elegant literary style full of antithesis, alliteration and simile - EUPHUISM 2. over polite, flattering, subservient - COMPLAISANT 3. concerned with intuitive basis of knowledge rather than that based on experience - TRANSCENDENTALLY 4. glossing over badness by giving it a good name - EUPHEMISM 5. to express disapproval of or deplore - DEPRECATE 6. insight; acuteness of perception, discernment or understanding - PERSPICACITY 7. to lessen the price or value of something or someone - DEPRECIATE 8. contented, satisfied - COMPLACENT 9. clearness or transparency - PERSPICUITY 10.in a superlative degree; surpassing others; pre-eminent or supreme - TRANSCENDENTLY I have to confess that nobody sent me the following story; I conducted a search on google to find one that summed up my sentiments this week ... The
Devil tells a Real Estate Agent, "Look, I can make you richer, more famous,
and more successful than any Real Estate Agent Say no more! If you received this newsletter from a friend and you'd like to have your very own copy delivered to you on Friday, just click here: mailto:WritingTips-subscribe@yahoogroups.com and why not spread the word? Send your friends a copy and invite them to join our merry band - we number nearly 8,000 now. A Little Something Extra If you've finally written a book, or you're planning to write one, you'll need to know what to do with it next. In other words, you'll want a Crash Course in Submitting a Manuscript! This week's LSE is an article written by children's author, by Laura Backes that shows you how to organise your submission and where to send it. Read on: http://www.write101.com/chcrash.htm What's that? You haven't written your book yet but you really, really want to? Then how would you feel if in exactly 28 days from now, you were holding the finished version of your own book? Pretty good, I imagine. This new CD course from best selling author Nick Daws shows how to do just this. Take a quick peek to see what it's all about. Nick Daws, by the way, is an English author who has been a full-time writer for the past 12 years - and he's written 30 best selling books in the past 3 years, using the techniques described here. Word of the week: Yare (adj) agile, lively; responding easily; ready What a great little word! It comes from an Old English word, gearo (ready). Oxymoron of the week: honest agent Got a question about grammar, punctuation or any other language matter? Here's the place to go: http://pub37.bravenet.com/forum/show.php?usernum=3170114826 This week's Latin phrase should be prominently displayed on the windows of all Real Estate agencies: Ad nocendum potentes sumus. (We have the power to harm.) Regards, Jennifer P.S. Want to donate to the upkeep of this newsletter? Here's how: 1. Pay by PayPal:
2. Click here to subscribe for a full year OR 3. Use your credit card on my secure order form: http://www.write101.com/fund.htm (You can also access the PayPal subscription link from this page if the link above didn't work for you. With PayPal, you can use your credit card, PayPal account or pay online using your own cheque account.) OR 4. Send a cheque (made payable to Jennifer Stewart): http://www.write101.com/fund.htm To unsubscribe from this list, send a blank email to: mailto:WritingTips-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com or go to the web site, at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WritingTips This menu will also let you change your subscription between digest and normal mode.
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