The Write Way

25 April 2003

Rain, Hail or Shine ...

Greetings,

I have a question for you: "What's happened to all the long-range weather forecasters?"

Up until a few years ago, you could rely on these blokes to pretty accurately predict the weather months in advance. So when planning a wedding, the first thing mums and daughters would do would be to tune in to hear what Inigo Jones, Lennox Walker (or one of their like) had to say about what the weather would be on each of the weekends on the wedding short-list. If you were planning to invite hordes of hungry rellies to stay, you'd make very sure that the weather was going to be fine before you contacted them so you could take them on lots of picnics, have plenty of barbeques and didn't have to entertain them inside.

But not any more. 

These days you're lucky if you can get a similar forecast for the following day from more than two TV or radio stations ... I blame the satellites.

No, not because they're interfering with the weather, but because they interfere with the workings of the weather bureau. All the data now comes from central weather satellites hurtling overhead at a squillion kilometres an hour ... and I ask you, how can they possibly see what the ants are doing from way up there?

I've mentioned before that we rely on the ants to predict the approach of rain because they're 100% accurate little wet-weather forecasters, and if you don't believe me just stop and think for a moment ... When was the last time you saw ants with umbrellas? Hmmm?

I rest my case.

Now before you put this ant-watching down to another quaint little Antipodean custom from the crazy Aussies, let me explain ...

European settlers set up camp here less than 300 years ago; Aboriginal settlers have been here between 50,000 and 60,000 years (depending on who you talk to). When the Europeans landed, they brought with them not just complaints about the flies, heat and terrain, but also their ingrained and ethnocentric concept of weather. So even though many parts of Australia have only two seasons (the Wet and the Dry) and others have up to six subtle changes in weather patterns, the Fist Settlers insisted on divviing up the years, as they'd done back in the Old Country, into four seasons. 

They also ignored any help proffered by the local people, preferring to live off weevil-infested dry rations and then starve rather than eat any of the Bush Tucker that had sustained Aborigines for thousands of years or even (and this amazes me every time I think about it) any of the zillions of fish, crabs, lobsters or oysters that were so abundant in Sydney Harbour and rivers then. Fools!

But back to the weather ...

Fifty thousand years without the distraction of television provides ample time to observe how plants and animals react to the weather at various times of the year and so the Aborigines built up a vast (and accurate) pool of information about their environment. And finally (who said we were slow learners?) our current weather bureau has recognised the value of this and is trying to record it before it's all lost forever.

Apart from watching how ants build high walls around their nests to prepare for heavy rain, the Aborigines also observed that meat ants cover their nests with tiny bits of quartz when a bushfire is coming - the quartz reflects the heat and protects the nest. You can read more fascinating observations here: http://www.bom.gov.au/iwk/climate_culture/index.shtml

And we all know that dogs and cats sense the approach of storms long before we even notice that the air has gone very still or the birds have headed home early. Don't you think it would be a great idea if we could pressurise our pollies to introduce a study of the environmental signals of weather in our schools?

Umm ... Yes, I'd like to pressurise a few of ours out here, too, but actually it would probably be better if we just pressured them ... A lot less messy and less chance of us being had up for physical abuse since  "to pressure" means to place under pressure or to force, by using overpowering influence or persuasion. So you can place a person under pressure to do (or not to do) something. 

But, as dictionary.com explains, the verb "to pressurise" means: 

• To maintain normal air pressure in (an enclosure, as an aircraft or submarine).
• To put (gas or liquid) under a greater than normal pressure.

So if you pressurise people, are you contemplating popping them in a pressure cooker with the vegetables so they can be heated to a temperature higher than the usual boiling point of water (and thus can be cooked more quickly)? Maybe yes, maybe no ...

This week's quiz:

OK - here are some weather words to match up:

rime, nadir, aphelion, diurnal, anabatic, syzygy, katabatic, hydrosphere, anemometer, troposphere

1. wind that's created by air flowing uphill

2. wind that's created by air flowing downhill

3. instrument for measuring the force of wind

4. the point of the earth's orbit that's furthest from the sun

5. the rapid freezing of really cold water droplets as they touch an exposed object, forming a white opaque skin of ice

6. the lowest layer of the earth's atmosphere

7. the points in the moon's orbit about the earth at which the moon is new or full

8. the water part of the earth's surface

9. a point on the celestial sphere directly below the observer, diametrically opposite the zenith

10. relating to or occurring in a 24-hour period; daily

Here are some things you may not have known about the weather - courtesy of Kids' Exam answers:

"Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers."

"In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O."

"Rain is saved up in cloud banks."

"Thunder is a rich source of loudness."

"Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound."

"We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on."

"Clouds are highflying fogs."

Last week's discourse about all things medical contained two "deliberate" errors ... Marcus Pailing found this one:

But I have to confess that I had no idea about it - See? You learn something new every day.

The second was when I mentioned three things I don't want to hear about, "... your bowel habits, your hiatus hernia and your reflex" which, of course, should have been "reflux." 

Last week's quiz:

Match up the specialist with the job:

nephrologist, pulmonologist, gastroenterologist, toxicologist, otolaryngologist, immunologist, cytopathologist, ophthalmologist, cardiologist,  neurophysiologist

1. treats diseases of the ear, nose, and throat and some diseases of the head and neck, including facial plastic surgery - OTOLARYNGOLOGIST

2. treats eye defects, injuries, and diseases - OPHTHAMOLOGIST

3. treats stomach disorders - GASTROENEROLOGIST

4. conducts the diagnosis and treatment of allergic conditions - IMMUNOLOGIST

5. treats heart disease - CARDIOLOGIST

6. treats kidney disease - NEPHROLOGIST

7. treats disorders of the nervous system and muscles - NEUROPHYSIOLOGIST

8. diagnoses disease by studying cells obtained from body secretions, scrapings, or aspiration - CYTOPATHOLOGIST

9. treats diseases of the lungs - PULMONOLOGIST

10.treat people who have been poisoned by household or industrial toxins, environmental toxins, and prescription and nonprescription drugs - TOXICOLOGIST

Did you know that there's a technical term for a sunny, warm day that follows two rainy days. 

It's called Monday.

And I can't resist this one - dedicated to all of you out there at the chalk face:

One day in heaven, the Lord decided He would visit the earth and take a stroll. Walking down the road, He encountered a man who was crying. The Lord asked the man, "Why are you crying, my son?" 

The man said that he was blind and had never seen a sunset. The Lord touched the man who could then see and was happy.

As the Lord walked further, He met another man crying and asked, "Why are you crying, my son?" 

The man was born a cripple and was never able to walk. The Lord touched him and he could walk and he was happy.

Farther down the road, the Lord met another man who was crying and asked, "Why are you crying, my son?" 

The man said, "Lord, I work for the school system." 

And the Lord sat down and cried with him.

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A Little Something Extra

Nothing adds realism more than being able to create an accurate setting for your characters and plot - complete with appropriate weather, so here are some great places to start when you're searching for the proper temperatures so you know whether to deck your characters out in sunhats or thermal underwear:

If your tale is set Down Under, go here: http://www.bom.gov.au/

Information on weather in Oceania: http://www.weatherhub.com/global/oceania.htm

For Asia: http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/worldweather/asia/index.shtml

For the UK: http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/ukweather/

You can get weather for any place in the US from here, then scroll down to find similar information for South America, Latin America and Europe: http://www.weather.com/

FREE Report: How to Write a Book ...  Click for your copy: http://www.write101.com/letters/writeabook.htm 

Word of the week: Corposant (n) a flash word for "a luminous, sporadic, and often audible, electric discharge. It occurs from objects, especially pointed ones, when the electrical field strength near their surfaces attains a value near 1000 volts per centimeter. It often occurs during stormy weather and might be seen on a ship's mast or yardarm, aircraft, lightning rods, and steeples" ... better known as St Elmo's Fire.

Oxymoron of the week: Couldn't resist this one ... weather forecast

A useful Latin phrase for those of you in the Northern Hemisphere:

Satine caloris tibi est? (Hot enough for you?)

[SAT-ee-nay KAL-oh-rees TEE-bee EST?]

Regards,

Jennifer

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