The Write Way

20 September 2002

Do You Take This ...?

Greetings,

Weddings! Don't you just love them? 

Our son was best man for his best mate's wedding last Saturday. The two of them have been like brothers from the day they met at school, and since we lived on a couple of acres while Matt lived right in town, they spent a lot of time at our place.

They and their other friends kicked footballs around the bottom paddock and climbed the trees when they were still little boys at heart. They set up drum kits and guitars in our garage for their first band when they hit their mid-teens. They had pool parties in summer, and gathered fallen timber and built fires to sit around in winter while they strummed their guitars and watched the stars, when they discovered that girls made pretty good company.

Once they all started to drive (and drink), our place was the natural gathering point - we had the space, no neighbours to complain about the music, and plenty of room to bunk down at the end of the night. We became used to manouevring around bodies curled up on lounges, chairs and rugs all over the house. 

When they hit their late teens, we started referring to them as Rent-a-Crowd, because of the way the whole group would turn up to support any one member who was doing something special. Whether it was taking part in a sporting, musical or dramatic performance, Rent-a-Crowd would be there. If someone had girlfriend/boyfriend problems, Rent-a-Crowd provided a collective shoulder to cry on. As each one headed off on the Big Trip overseas, Rent-a-Crowd took over the departure lounge at the airport, waved the lucky traveller goodbye and then handed out tissues to the weeping mothers seeing their babies fly the nest. A tragic car crash that claimed the life of one of those mothers saw Rent-a-Crowd at their best ... 

So we've been delighted to become a part of Rent-a-Crowd and to be invited to various engagements and weddings. 

It's a sign of the times that the bride chose not to have "bridesmaids" but "attendants," so she could include her young, male flat-mate in the bridal party. The wedding was lovely ... I cried ... What else is new?

My husband can never understand why I cry when other parents' kids get married - especially when they've all usually been living together for some time and nothing is really changing. 

Men ... they just don't understand these things!

Judging from the number of weddings we've attended in the past couple of years, the twenty-somethings these days are far from ante marriage.

Chuckle ... actually, most of them are very ante- marriage in the way they do things ... but few are anti-marriage.

The prefix ante- means "before, in space or time" and is used in words such as antenatal ('antenatal care' is what all sensible women should receive before the birth of their babies); anteroom (the smaller room you go through before entering a main room) and anteater ... no just joking about that one. The prefix has been pinched complete from the Latin ante- which means .... wait for it ... "before."

The prefix anti- means "opposing" or "against" and is used in terms such as anti-aircraft, antibiotic and antidisestablishmentarianism! And no, it doesn't come from the Latin, but from the Greek anti-, which means "opposite."

This week's quiz:

OK - you did well last week... Now try these ...

Same thing ... choose the word from the list that's closest in meaning to the word in capitals:

1. The witness was MALIGNED: sworn-in, slandered, cross-examined, called, released

2. NECESSITOUS peasants: insistent, noisy, needed, underfed, poverty-stricken

3. The child was TACITURN: indifferent, habitually silent, discreet, honest, devout

4. A PALPABLE error: excusable, obvious, unpardonable, disastrous, frequent

5. A SABLE cloak: light, formal, threadbare, black, unbecoming

6. A VACUOUS look: intelligent, stupid, aristocratic, fascinating, flushed

7. A FECKLESS piece of ore: unusual, inimitable, faultless, worthless, priceless

8. The QUONDAM king: enraged, former, peace-loving, exiled, gracious

9. RUGOSE skin: smooth, sunburned, oily, wrinkled, healthy

10. SALUBRIOUS climate: damp, variable, insufferable, weakening, wholesome

The celebrant noticed that the bride was in great distress so asked her what was wrong. She replied that she was nervous and afraid she wouldn't remember what to do. 

The celebrant told her that she only needed to remember 3 things,
"First the aisle, because that's what you'll be walking down.
Secondly, the altar, because that's where you'll arrive.
Finally, remember hymn, because that's a type of song we'll sing during the service."

While the bride was walking to the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these three words, " Aisle, altar hymn."

No, this didn't happen on Saturday!

Last week's quiz:

Choose the word from the list that's closest in meaning to the word in capitals:

1. The quotation was APPOSITE: contradictory, brief, PERTINENT, poetic, well-known

2. Characterised by BATHOS: anticlimax, pity, EMOTION, adventure, grief

3. A CALLOW youth: insincere, IMMATURE, malicious, obstinate, unmanageable

4. Exposed to CALUMNY: hatred, dishonesty, SLANDER, praise, danger

5. ENERVATING climate: ENFEEBLING, invigorating, humid, healthy, variable

6. A MORDANT comment: gloomy, SARCASTIC, pertinent, foolish, humorous

7. POSTPRANDIAL speeches: political, soap-box, AFTER-DINNER, introductory, complimentary

8. A TORPID mind: diseased, active, keen, inquiring, DULL

9. A LIMPID stream: sluggish, shallow, winding, CLEAR, peaceful

10.INEFFABLE joys: supreme, deserved, unbearable, unforgettable, INDESCRIBABLE

I found these and thought they'd be appropriate for our Wedding Issue:

Why It's Good to Be a Girl

Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - they look complete fools in ours.

It's cool to be a daddy's girl.  It's sad to be a mommy's boy.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

The thrill of surprising people by being good at darts ... and pool ... and football.

Taxis stop for us.

We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

We can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a 'short woman's complex.'

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

We never recognise ourselves in aspects of Mr Bean. Ever.

And finally ... We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

OK ... time for the lads:

Why It's Good to Be a Bloke:

A week's holiday requires only one suitcase.

You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.

When channel surfing, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere you go.

When your work is criticised, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

You don't have to clean your flat if the metre reader is coming by.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Wedding Dress $1000; Morning suit hire $50.

You can rationalise any behaviour with the handy phrase, "Bugger it!"

A Little Something Extra

If you're planning to write that Great Novel, here's an interesting discussion about the character-based novel. This " ... is the sort of novel that takes a well-drawn individual (or group of individuals for that matter) on a journey of some sort, so that by the end of the book you feel that the character has got somewhere - either emotionally, spiritually or intellectually. The events of the story are there to make that person change..."

Read the rest of this article by writer, Harriet Smith here. 

Word of the week: Morganatic (adj) Relating to a form of marriage where a man of high rank marries a woman of lower rank. Any children of this marriage are automatically cut out of the will - as is she. 

Now this doesn't, in any way, shape or form, relate to the wedding we attended last week ... but it's such a great word, don't you think?

Oxymoron of the week: cat proof. Anyone who shares a home with a feline will appreciate this one.

Here's a good Latin phrase ... since we've been looking at love, romance and weddings this week:

Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt. (You know, the Romans invented the art of love.)

And a second one for those weddings that ... well ... read on:

Non serus matrimonium fugias! (It's not too late to back out!)

Regards,

Jennifer

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