The Write Way

9 August 2002

"I" Before "E" Except ...

Greetings,

I thought I'd help you out this week - since I know what you're like, lying awake at nights ... tossing and turning as you anguish over whether it's "changeable" or "changable" ...

You'll be pleased to know that there is a sort of a rule ... sort of. You've probably got a vague feeling that when the "E" is silent, it's dropped before adding the suffix "-able."

And you're right about that silent E ... trouble is, the E is silent in both "adorable" and "changeable" ... next rule ...

If there's a long vowel preceding the suffix, you leave the E; if it's short, whip it out.

"Change" (the A is a long A, as in "bay") + able = changeable

"Adore" (the O is short, not long as in "Oh") + able = adorable.

In my little corner of the world, when we talk about "Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near," we refer to it as "ageing," not "aging." You see, there's another Rule that says that an E after a consonant after a vowel, makes it a long vowel. The A in "age" is long (as in "hay," not short as in "hat.") And yet another that says that an E that follows a consonant, changes the hard consonant to a soft one. So it's G as in "giraffe" not G as in "gone." 

And yes, I know what you're going to say ... "Hang on ... Didn't you say that an E makes a short vowel long? What about "gone" then, Hey? Smarty Pants!"

Well, yes ... the O in "gone" IS short (as in "cough" ... just joking ... as in "hot"), not long as in "groan."

Confused?

Don't be, because there's another Special Rule that states:

"If it feels good, do it."

Scroll down for the links to Rules.  This is what the Webster's site has to say about our little conundrum:

" ...to avoid confusion and mispronunciation, the final e is kept in words such as mileage and words where the final e is preceded by a soft g or c: changeable, courageous, manageable, management, noticeable. (The word management, for example, without that e after the g, would be pronounced with a hard g sound.)"

You've probably seen variations of this before - this one has been attributed to M J Shields.

A Plan for the Reform of English Spelling

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Hey ... that works for me!

When challenged to make up a sentence using the word "horticulture", Dorothy Parker said: "You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think."

Isn't that a hoot? I found it a few weeks ago and have been itching to use it ever since.

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That line, "Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near," comes from a poem by C17th English poet, Andrew Marvell. The poem is called, "To His Coy Mistress" and it's one bloke's attempt to get his girl to go to bed with him ... but done with such class!

He had style, you have to give him that ... just look at how he begins,

Nothing like this as an opener to lull her into a false sense of security, eh? He carries on in a similar way, telling her how he he'd like to have all the time in the world to love all her bits and pieces ... and then he hits her with the BUT:

And just to make sure she gets the point, he uses the old fear tactics:

Then, with a deft turn of phrase, he's back, painting a more appealing picture:

What's a girl to do?

You can read the whole poem. 

This week's quiz:

Something a little different this week - everyone's favourite ... a spelling test! Have a go ... C'mon. See if you'd still win that school Spelling Bee:

Dr. Yule's 16 Word Spelling Test
While you may be able to spell potatoe, chances are you will not be able to correctly spell over 60% of the words on this list:
acomodate
exessiv
remembrd
unparaleld
miniture
professr
gardian
disapoint
mischivus
psycollajy
sovren
disiplin
inocuus
recomend
ocasion
tecnicly

I thought this story (sent in by Rhonda) was apt:

Three people arrive at the gates of heaven and St. Peter greeted them. "Welcome to Heaven. We have simplified the process of admission, and all you need to do to get into Heaven is pass a simple test. Are you ready?"

The first person said, "I've prepared for this moment for 73 years."

"Okay, " said St. Peter, "spell 'God'."

"G-O-D."

"Very good, enter your eternal reward."

"That was easier than I thought it would be, " the second person said, "I'll take my test now."

"Okay, " said St. Peter, "spell 'love'."

"L-O-V-E."

"Excellent, enter your eternal reward."

The third person, a lawyer, said, "Boy, is this is gonna be a snap. Give me my test."

"Okay, " said St. Peter, "spell 'prorhipidoglossomorpha'."

Last week's quiz:

Match 'em up:

Thanks to everyone who's left a message and stuck a pin on the map - it's never too late ... 

A special request if you live in Africa, South America, the Russian States, Alaska or anywhere else where not many have posted ... please post a message ... I know you're out there ...

http://pub37.bravenet.com/guestmap/view.php?usernum=3170114826

Now this next tale is a tad long - but very droll:

Q: How many internet newsgroup subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 1,331
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers
156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb
203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** relevant to this mail list.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.
3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.
33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."
12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup.

47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here.
143 votes for alt.lite.bulb

There's a whole series of Light Bulb jokes here. 

As an old fan of Dr Who, I love this one:

Q: How many Daleks does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 2.5 million ("Look, you can go around shouting EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE here and there as much as you like, and you can sound as loud and angry as a project manager who has missed a major deadline, but 2.5 million daleks is our final answer. That's because it'll take 2.5 million daleks to conquer a race that can climb ladders.")

What do you mean, "What's a dalek?"

These are daleks. 

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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
(Erma Bombeck)

A Little Something Extra ...

If you're a poet and you don't know it ... you'll love this site! It finds rhymes for words ... 

But that's not all - it also finds synonyms, antonyms, homophones ... gives definitions, related words and even finds pictures to accompany your rhyme! Then it has extracts from Shakespeare; it has word quizzes, quotations, famous documents ... and it goes on! Talk about a one-stop stop ...

Oxymoron: a triple whammy this week ... Government Intelligence Organisation 

Word of the week: I'm sure you already know someone who has this ... but you just never had the word to describe it ... until now: Diastema (n) - space between teeth. 

In a dazzling display of derring-do and disregard for the finer points of tautology, dictionary.com defines the word thusly: "A vacant space, or gap, esp. between teeth in a jaw."

A Latin phrase this week that was sent in by Tellern ... I think most of us, if pressed, would have to admit to knowing what this was like at some time in our lives: 

Remedium amoris --- The cure for love is still in most cases that ancient radical medicine: love in return

Regards,

Jennifer

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