The Write Way

26 July 2002

How Many Players in Your Quartet, Mr Brubeck?

Greetings,

I've had numerous messages asking me what Lavinia's been up to recently ... Well, all right ... one person sent me an email asking what had happened to that snooty tart, Lavinia. But I really must protest - there is nothing "snooty" about our girl. In fact, in her capacity as President-elect of LIONS (Ladies In Or Near Society) Northern Region, she mixes with people from all walks of life.

She and her chums had occasion to attend a function just last weekend, held to raise funds for one of those groups that spends enormous amounts of taxpayers' money looking through microscopes at very tiny things with very big names.

Abandoning her trademark duck-egg blue tulle and gold lamé, Lavinia opted instead for a floor-length, milky-white silk frock, adorned with black faux fur patches that left her fellow guests gob-smacked and reaching for their cameras. Malheureusement, the effect was not so much of the hoped-for prowling white tiger, but more that of something interesting growing on a Petri dish in a high-school lab.

In deference to the Country and Western theme, Lavinia had added a pair of tiny silver spurs to the back of her 6-inch stilettos, which may go some way to explain her unfortunate accident as she clicked her heels together while posing for effect at the top of the curving staircase that led down to the ball-room.

Helping her to her feet, the professor in charge of spending the aforementioned huge sums of money, exchanged a couple of words with Lavinia; she didn't understand either of them.

The reason why Lavinia attended was because she was asked. It's as simple as that ...

But that expression isn't simple - it's a waste of words. A "reason" is 'an explanation or justification for an act;' "why" is an adverb that means 'for what reason, cause or purpose' and "because" is a conjunction that means 'for the reason or cause that' ... 

Notice a bit of a theme here? Yep - all saying the same thing. It's better form to simply say, "The reason Lavinia attended was that she was asked" or "Lavinia attended because she was asked."

You'll hear plenty of similarly redundant expressions everywhere you go - here are some of my favourites:

"Return back from whence you came" ... this is almost a triple play! Where else can you return to except "back?" The prefix re- means 'back.'

"Whence" is another of those words that has a built-in direction - it means 'from where; from which; from what source." Try "return whence you came" instead.

"Future plans" - as opposed to ...? This goes well with the advice to always "plan ahead."

"Look back in retrospect" - just try looking back any other way or looking forward in retrospect for that matter!

"Recapitulate what happened previously" ... I think you get the point by now ...

Last week, I joyously mentioned that Harv Craven thought this newsletter was well worth not just 30 cents, but a whopping 31 cents a week, which led him to respond:

"Thanks for the plug to my site, dearie... however, you've misspelled my domain name! There's no 's' on the end of design! www.harvcravendesign.com

"Starting to reconsider that extra penny..."

Oh dear ... a thousand apologies to Harv ... But please don't let that dissuade you from contributing a mere 30 cents each week to my Running Away Fund ... if you do have a site, send me the URL ... maybe you'd better put it in BIG letters so I can see it ...

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This week's quiz:

Match each word with its meaning:

Given recent events in the financial world, Tom thought we might enjoy this:

"A very nervous man became an investments broker. Whenever there was bad news about a company he held shares in, his nervousness would make his feet begin to sweat profusely.

"It's apparently a common trait in investment circles, though - bad news makes your socks stink."

Yes, you can groan now ... if you're partial to the odd pun, drop by the FOTA board and post your favourite:
http://pub37.bravenet.com/forum/show.php?usernum=3170114826

Last week's quiz:

Here's a story that Dave sent in from down California way ...

One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island
for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the
horizon. "It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.

As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule
out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop
dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and
scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and
says to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years," replies the stunned man.

With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof
pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of
cigarettes. 

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag
and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?"
she asks him.

Trembling the castaway replies, "Ten years."

She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a
flask and hands it to him.

He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says,
"WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!"

At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long
zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit,
looks at the man seductively and asks,
"And how long has it been since you've played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs,

"Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs
in there too?"

Chuckle ... do you think it's sign of age that we all find that funny?

Thanks to everyone who's dropped by to leave a message and stick a pin on the map - it's never too late: 

http://pub37.bravenet.com/guestmap/view.php?usernum=3170114826

Please encourage your friends and rellies to subscribe - just send them this link:  mailto:WritingTips-subscribe@yahoogroups.com   It's much easier than you having to forward the newsletter to them every week.

A Little Something Extra ...

Children's writer, Laura Backes says,

"When writing for children, it's very tempting to use fiction as a vehicle for teaching important life lessons. And while there's nothing wrong with this, the author's desire to impart wisdom earned from years of experience can easily become heavy-handed."

Read how to avoid preaching when you write: http://www.write101.com/chteach.htm 

Oxymoron: 70s fashion 

Word of the week: Sabbulonarium (n) gravel pit ... sounds a lot more impressive to say you work at the sabbulonarium, doesn't it?

Here's a nifty Latin phrase that could have been coined for our Lavinia:

De gustibus non est disputandum. (There's no disputing about taste.)

Regards,

Jennifer

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