The Write Way

2 November 2001

The Melbourne Cup

Greetings,

It's getting light very early out here, with summer less than a month away. The Girls give one little bark every morning at about 4.30 - that's just to let us know that it's nearly time to go for a walk. By 5 am, it's fully light and they know it's time to at least go outside (they sleep with Betty Boop, the budgie, in "The Girls' Room" - the landing at the top of our back stairs).

Once they're outside, it's the cat's turn to jump up for her morning session of Adoration (we're the ones who do the adoring, she's on the receiving end). It's one of our silly little family things that we say good morning to her and she answers us with a croaky miaow. In a fine example of the early morning, rapier-like pun, our response to this is, "You're not a cat this morning ... you're a little horse." (OK ... so it's one of those times when you have to be there ... it definitely seems to have lost something in the telling!)

Speaking of horses ...

Go on ... marvel anew at how smoothly I segue into the topic ... I'll wait ...

Next Tuesday is a Big Day for us - it's Melbourne Cup Day!

This horse race has been held every year since 1861 and its first winner was a horse called Archer, who is supposed to have walked 850 km (560 miles) from Nowra to Flemington to run. No doubt about it, in the Olden Days, even the horses were tougher. No woosy air-conditioned jets for those babies!

Many years later (in 1978), another horse from Nowra won the Cup - its name was Arwon. (I mention this only for the scintillating wit involved in the name ... Clue: look at it backwards ... No, don't look over you shoulder ... spell it ... yes, that's right ... Aah, we're a nation of bright sparks, all right.)

You might (or might not) recognise another winner ... the-mighty-Phar-Lap, winner of the 1930 Cup (he never seems to be plain old Phar Lap, but always "the mighty"). He's patron saint of football commentators, who frequently assert that some player or other, "has the heart of Phar Lap!" A tad disconcerting really  ... I didn't know we were quite that advanced medically and so into cross-species transplants.

But I digress ... The first prize in 1861 didn't even consist of a trophy - although in the intervening years, the Cup itself has become more and more elaborate and expensive, and the prize money has become ver-r-r-ry attractive to the High Flyers. This year, "Total prize money ... is $4.075 million, with first prize worth $2 million, plus trophies valued at $75,000. The Melbourne Cup owner's trophy is a 3-handled "Loving Cup" in 9-carat gold, valued at $60,000. The winning trainer and jockey receive miniature replicas of the Cup, each valued at $6500. The strapper of the winning horse is awarded the Tommy Woodcock (Phar Lap's strapper) trophy, valued at $2000. The winning rider is also presented with the traditional gold-mounted Wirth's Whip." 

Ok, not bad for 3 minutes' work - fancy a run around a paddock piggy-backing a jockey?

For some reason, this race has worked its way into the Australian psyche - people who don't know the pointy end of a horse from the blunt end, go out and have a bet on the Melbourne Cup - much to the delight of the bookies and the government-run Totalisator Agencies - who always make a squillion. You can read more about the history of the Melbourne Cup here.

Which brings us, gasping for breath and stone motherless last, to the finishing post and just in time to look at all the other ways the horse makes its presence felt in our idioms:

• To eat like a horse. To work like a horse (To eat a great deal. To work very hard.)

• Straight from the horse's mouth (From a person closely concerned with the subject discussed)

• Hold your horses (Stop, wait)

• To flog a dead horse (To keep trying to get satisfaction from something that cannot or can no longer give it)

• A dead horse matter (No longer of concern)

• Get on one's high horse (To become offended in an angry and proud way)

• Horse sense (Common sense)

• A dark horse (A person or thing whose true character and worth is unknown but may be better than is thought)

• A horse of another colour (Quite a different matter)

• Lock the stable door after the horse has bolted (Take action too late)

• A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse (Indirect suggestion is all that is necessary, no need to spell it out)

• Put the cart before the horse (To do things in the wrong order)

• A willing horse (A keen worker)

• You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink (You can make it easy for a person to do what you want, but you cannot force them to do it if they do not want to)

• Change horses midstream (Change one's opinions in the middle of something)

• Horses for courses (Each person or thing being employed for the purpose for which it is best suited)

• If wishes were horses, beggars would ride (If things could be obtained by wishing, poor people would not be poor)

• Wild horses couldn't keep me away (Nothing could keep me away)

• Horse feathers! (An exclamation of disbelief)

• Horse Opera (A cowboy movie)

• Horse player (A gambler)

• Horse trading (Making business deals after hard and skilful bargaining)

• A one horse town (A very small, insignificant place)

• Red horse (Corned beef)

• The iron horse (The railway)

• As scarce as rocking horse 'manure' (Very rare indeed) 
• A war horse (A seasoned and reliable veteran)

• Horse around (To fool around)

Phew - that's a lot of horses! (These come from the Dictionary of English Idiom, 1979, Longman Group Ltd., Great Britain) and when I started this, I didn't realise just how many there were.

Another horse of a different persuasion (OK, it's a donkey) leads us to our list of Essential Reading matter. (Thank you for your suggestions - feel free to pass along any others as you think of them.)

I believe Crime and Punishment should be required reading, obviously for higher grade levels. I did not read in until my mid thirties and I can confidently say that the struggle between confession of guilt to cleanse the soul and the desire for self-preservation by avoiding the consequences of actions is something that we all face daily, and had I had a better understanding of this concept many of my earlier choices would have been different. Also, the thought process explored by which the end of a particular line of thinking or plan justifying the means necessary to get there, no matter how violent or morally wrong and the folly of this rationale, is something that all developing minds can benefit from.
Thank you,

Jeff

N.B. There's a harrowing scene in this book concerning a donkey - if you've read the book, you'll remember it; if you haven't read it yet, I don't want to spoil it for you.

Other suggestions:

     Essential reading... Hmm...

1. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
     Who could have claimed to have grown up without
reading this book? I read it only when I was 25 and
found that Salinger very rightly put into words what I
was feeling in my earlier years.

2. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
     The only book (so far) which I can't put down!

3. Animal Farm - George Orwell
     Easy to read and short (only 98 pages) but the
allegories go beyond simple fairy tale. Good for all
ages, could be introduced into a classroom to
stimulate thinking.

From Yeo.

I could write pages and pages of "Essential Books" recommendations, but
there are other things that I need to do. So here are the books I think are
essential to a well-lived life:

1.    Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass
because:

(a) It's delightful and fanciful, and engages the creative imagination in a
way that television and movies simply can't;
(b) It doesn't suffer from the stuffiness and stilted, archaic
structure/language that some classic do;
(c) The frequent allusions to of Alice in Wonderland  in modern literature,
movies, music and conversation cry out for a context to give them meaning;
(d) It's quite funny in places and so ludicrous throughout that you can't
help enjoying it;
(e) It's as fun to read in adulthood as it is in childhood;
(f) Everyone needs to read the full text of The Jabberwocky and The Walrus
and the Carpenter at least once in their lives;
(g) It was the very first book I read on my own as a child. It took me a
month of reading every day, sitting in my dad's armchair, but I so loved the
story that I couldn't put it down, and the impression it made on me has
lasted a lifetime.


2.   The Wind in the Willows because of the same reasons I listed in (a)
through (e) above. Additionally, its characters are so
delightfully quirky and well-developed that the reader can't help liking
them and becoming invested in their well-being.

 3.   The Doctor Dolittle books, especially "Doctor Dolittle's Circus",
"Doctor Dolittle's Caravan", "Doctor Dolittle's Zoo", "The Voyages of Doctor
Dolittle" ... all for the same reasons I gave for "The Wind in the Willows".

4. The Jungle Book, for similar reasons, but also as a backdrop to
understanding the attitude in Kipling's time toward people of color, their
societies and cultures.

5. Anything by Roald Dahl, for the same reasons as given above for "Alice in
Wonderland", "The Wind in the Willows" and the "Doctor Dolittle" books.
Additionally, Roald Dahl's frequent theme of mistreated/unfortunate children
surviving and overcoming    unpleasant  circumstances makes the stories
particularly delicious. Of all the Roald Dahl books,  The BFG is my
favorite because of its naughty focus on body functions - a subject that
make kids giggle and adults squirm.

The bottom line for me is that these are all books I loved as a kid and
loved just as much when I had kids of my own with whom to share them.
Nothing in life is as warm and wonderful as curling up with a child on my
lap and one of these marvelous books in hand to read aloud.

From Pam Slick, San Diego, California.

'I recommend 11 Year Old Refugee, by Bogdan Tiganov,
because the poems in this book are wonderfully
heartfelt.  Also, Paul Escu's books Tarnish, and its
sequel Fakery, are essential because of the
extraordinary power of these books - classics in the
field of cult reads.'

Sincerely,

Bogdan Tiganov http://www.authorsden.com/bogdantiganov

Were I recommending books to either students or family
members, I would strive for variety above all. Variety
in both subject matter and age of the work.

Now, having said that, I'm naturally going to go right
ahead and do a little recommending anyway, but only
for purposes of clarification. ;) For late pre-teens
and older, I would suggest Heinlein, Shakespeare,
Spillane, Jung, Hemingway, Ayn Rand (philosophy books,
as well as her fiction), Stephen King, Carlos
Castaneda, Fred Alan Wolf, Homer, Samuel Taylor
Coleridge, Immanuel Kant...well, you get the idea.
These are merely examples off the top of my head.
Specific subject matter is not as important as it's
variability.

Variety is not only the spice of life, it dictates
it's quality. Without variety, choices are fewer.
Fewer choices leads inevitably to a narrow, stagnant
life.

Michael Courson
San Antonio, Texas

Here's something Sarah found - guaranteed to add a little more stress to your lives:

When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., how many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a two-way mirror?? Just conduct this simple test: Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror. However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, for it is a two-way mirror.

Gee, thanks, Sarah - just what we needed!

And here are some more Things We Learn from the Movies:

Honest and hard-working policemen are usually gunned down a day or two before retirement.

It doesn't matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one... dancing around in a threatening manner until you have dispatched their predecessors

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies using complex machinery involving fuses, deadly gasses, lasers, buzz saws and hungry sharks, all of which will give their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

During all crime investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one French bread and one bunch of carrots with leafy tops.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

See? All those hours you spend watching telly and at the movies are educational!

This week's quiz:

We've been looking at idioms this week, and here are some of their distant relatives - metaphors -  that could do with a quick half-hour with their analyst!

MIXED UP METAPHORS

I can see through you like a book.

He came through the experience smelling like a knight in shining armour.

He fell for it like a ton of books.

Your honor, when I vacated that apartment it was as clean as the nose on my face.

I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.

Don't put all your chickens in one basket.

Every silver lining has a cloud around it.

From now on I'm watching your every move with a fine-toothed comb.

Let sleeping ducks lie.

Let's get down to brass roots.

Never let a gift horse in the house.

Now the shoe is on the other horse!

Rome wasn't burned in a day.

She grabbed the bull by the tail and faced the problem squarely.

Thanks LaVonne, these are a hoot. Notice the horse reared its head again.

Last week's quiz:

Write one word for each of the following. N.B. The first letter is given ... to stop arguments ;)

1. an unfortunate happening - CALAMITY

2. of the sky or the heavens - CELESTIAL

3. a remarkable occurrence or thing - PHENOMENON

4. adding beauty to something - ORNAMENTATION

5. strong healthy and vigorous - ROBUST

6. the forerunner of an event  - HARBINGER

7. stolen or pilfered - PILFERED

8. the cause of ruin or trouble - BANE

9. a region of the atmosphere - STRATOSPHERE

10.a person who does menial tasks for no pay - (no not a wife!) SLAVE

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