The Write Way

19 October 2001

The Three Bears

Greetings,

Let's have a little look at this fairy tale ...

"Whose been sleeping in my bed?" asked Baby Bear, peeping around from behind Mumma Bear, who's job it was to answer the same inane question every morning.

"Don't be such a baby, Baby," said Big Sister Bear. "The little bear whom lives here has been sleeping in it .... duh!"

"But, but ..." Baby stammered, "the big, bad wolf who I saw leaving here said he'd huff and he'd puff and .."

Oh dear. We'll put this to rights anon, but leaving our confused little bear for the moment, perhaps we can spare a moment to review some of the problems he's created here ...

Who, whom and whose also create problems for many other little bears out there, but there's an easy test you can use to check which belongs where - and it's quite safe - so even the kiddies can try this.

Step 1. Look at the table below ... go on, it won't hurt just to look.

Step 2. Think about what you've seen (ah-ha - the hard part!)

Step 3. Now, whenever you come across a sentence containing any of the Troublesome Three, just substitute another pronoun.

So, to choose the correct form of the pronoun who, re-phrase the sentence so you choose between he and him. If him fits, write whom; if he sounds right, use who.

Whom should we call? (Should we call him?)

The table below has made several appearances in past newsletters, but it never hurts to re-run the classics:

Notice, please, that the expression who's is conspicuous by its absence - because it's a contraction of two words: who and is (or sometimes has). Use the same procedure here as you do when you find yourself on the horns of that other dilemma: its and it's.  Substitute the words who is (or has) in the sentence and if it makes sense, then use who's. If not, whose is your man!

... Mumma Bear, who's apron partly hid him. (... Mumma Bear, who's [who is] apron partly hid him ... I don't think so ...)

... Mumma Bear, whose apron partly hid him. (She owns the apron ... look at the table and you'll see whose is a possessive pronoun.)

Let's revisit our confused bear and set him straight:

"Who's been sleeping in my bed?" asked Baby Bear, peeping around from behind Mumma Bear, whose job it was to answer the same inane question every morning.

"Don't be such a baby, Baby," said Big Sister Bear. "The little bear who lives here has been sleeping in it .... duh!"

This week's quiz:

Righto - do what must you do with these ... desultory, supercilious, propitiate, foment, mercurial, splenetic, contentious, mitigate, expatiate, slake

Mi'Chaela Mills sent this follow-up the recent mention of the scam letter: 

I'm replying to your October 5th newsletter on scams.

The telephone number you listed in the email is really a long distance scam.
  The 873 areas code is a number in the Bahamas.  If anyone calls this
number, their calling information gets forwarded to a Bahaman's long distance
company that tracks the number like a calling card access number.  The the
receiving person gets your phone number, he then has access and
authorization to charge long distance calls to your number via long distance
calling card access.

After you've made that phone call, you will then start getting long distance
bills that could amount up to $20,000 per month.

The bad thing about this is that the FCC does not have jurisdiction over
international long distance companies, so the caller is stuck with a bill he
did not truly authorize the company to bill him.  Then you are also stuck
with disputing this bill with a long distance company, which again will cost
you long distance charges, because the 800 # are only domestic.

Please inform your members of this expensive scam.

Check out this site from the www.fraud.com  regarding this particular scam.

http://www.fraud.org/scamsagainstbusinesses/

Also, from ScamBusters (http://www.scambusters.org/NigerianFee.html):   "The U.S. Secret Service has instructed anyone in the US who has lost funds because of this scam to forward appropriate written documentation to:

U.S. Secret Service
Financial Crimes Division
950 H Street, NW,
Washington, DC 20001.
(202) 406-5850
Or send email using the Secret Service form or
direct to 419.fcd@usss.treas.gov

If you have received a letter, but have not lost any monies to this scheme, please fax a copy of that letter to (202) 406-5031."

Good advice!

On a lighter note ... ahem. Here's a story I received from Brad ... sound like anyone you know?

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I  are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."  

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each  other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm  sick of talking about this, so you  call your sister in Chicago and tell  her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.  "They're not getting divorced if I have anything to do about it," she shouts, "I'll  take care of this."

She calls  Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting  divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there.  I'm calling my  brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a
thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.  "Okay," he says, "they're coming for  Thanksgiving and paying their own fares...Now what do we tell them for  Christmas?

Oh dear ... they wouldn't ... would they?

Last week's quiz:

Mondegreen of the week: When I was a kid we went to Mass every Sunday.  During the Eucharistic Prayer I was convinced the priest was saying "On Wisconsin intersections we rely for help" (this is the state I'm from).

It was actually, I learned some years later "on whose constant intercession we rely for help." Still have to
laugh at that! (Rebecca Toenness)

Word of the week: I hope you've had your dinner ...here's one for the parents: Rhinotillexomania (n) Habitual or obsessive nose-picking.

This word featured at the recent IgNobel Awards for research that should never have taken place and you can read the actual (really and truly) research that coined this term here. ... I kid you not. Other awards went to research into Injuries Due to Falling Coconuts and the question of  why shower curtains billow inwards.

This week's Latin phrase will also come in handy for parents everywhere:

fah-WAY-tay LIN-gwis.

Regards,

Jennifer

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