Having enjoyed reading your
biographical, They
can't take that away from me... I
would love to post your article (for my) course for
seniors entitled Autobiography and Journaling ... and
let them read your article as a good example of what
I call the reader's writer, clearly expressed and easy
to read. (Howell)
The French language has
always appealed to me ... so I enjoyed Lavinia's
experiences en
France! (Di Sullivan, Perth, Australia)
I am an American and an
expat here since 1990. I have been a subscriber to Writing
Tip for a few years now and look forward to the Friday
editions. I archive by creating topics of the tips
relevant to me and often refer. (Mary, Lagos, Nigeria)
WRITERS!
Write
Your Own Best Seller!
This
year, don't just read a best-seller ... Write
your own using the software program that works
in the same way J K Rowling writes her Harry
Potter novels!
Who said Aussies would
bet on two flies crawling up a wall? Now I know
better! (Bill Denham, Chicago, USA)
I enjoy reading your page
every week, Jennifer, it's never boring and there's always
something to bring a smile to my face! (Kenny Dima,
Tenerife, Spain)
Great newsletter -
originally found this site after searching for
clarification on a contentious
point amongst work colleagues. Just had to look at old
issues and now look forward to Fridays (Juliet Wallace,
Manchester, ENGLAND)
Control Your Emotions and Reach
the Top! by Carole Nicolaides
Greetings,
No doubt about it, everyone in
business wants to be successful - but what are the special traits that make some
people successful while others seem to just dither on the sidelines? This week,
Carole Nicolaides explains how important it is to control your emotions and the
Quick Tip reveals three traits that successful people have ... Read on to see if
you have them.
Jennifer
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Socrates knew it all along. If you want to succeed in life you
must “know thyself.” This is the first step for everything and
for anybody who wants to make a difference in his or her life.
The ability to listen to our own emotions, wants, desires and
needs is as important as listening to others. In addition,
putting the understanding of your emotions (and those of others)
into practice is equally important. There are times all of us
want to lash out at our superiors or peers for violating our
boundaries, not “getting it”, interfering with our projects,
crossing the line, stepping behind our backs, taking advantage of
our absence and simply playing the old and cold business game.
Those are only natural feelings. Everyone has had them from time
to time. However, what you DO with those feelings and emotions is
what counts. Controlling your anger and frustration and learning
to perform more productively under stressful circumstances is the
defining factor.
Unfortunately, changing your emotional response to others is
considered a “lifestyle change”. And, as we all know, those are
the most difficult to implement and maintain. If changing
unproductive habits were as simple as being aware of them, we'd
all be living ideal lives. Changing habits and behaviors takes
more than awareness and self-knowledge. This is why traditional
training (such as books, audio tapes, video training and
workshops) often falls short in creating long-term change. They
don’t offer a consistent support system… the one thing that is
vital to maintaining new behaviors.
I recommend that you find a mentor or coach to assist with this
process. After all, there is an elegant beauty apparent in
people that can remain calm when no one else can. Aristotle said,
“Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the
right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the
right purpose, in the right way - this is not easy.”
The insights below will help you lay down a solid foundation for
managing your emotions and progressing forward in your career.
1. Learn rather than defend. Instead of going into a defensive
mode and trying to protect or force your views, learn from the
situation. Ask yourself what is really going on with that upset
employee or coworker. The old saying is true, “When you change
someone’s point-of-view against their will, you’ve never truly
changed them.” From the moment you lose control and retaliate
(even if you are right) you’ve lost the battle. However, by
controlling your emotions and investigating the other’s
viewpoint, you open yourself to a calm and enlightening
discussion.
2. Acknowledge rather than agree. It is possible to acknowledge
that someone has a different point-of-view than you have without
agreeing with their point-of-view. What happens, more often than
not, is that the more strongly someone disagrees with us, the
more adamant we becoming about convincing them we are right.
Before the situation gets out of control, ask yourself, “How
important is it that they agree with me?” If the answer comes
down to a matter of personal pride – let it go. Acknowledge and
respect other’s views, the fact that you have a conflicting
opinion and allow the conversation to drift to another topic.
3. Express your emotions. Expressing empathy and being
emotionally honest is one of the things that will make you a true
leader. Everyone you work with already knows you are human.
When you share your strengths, weaknesses, triumphs and trials
honestly with those around you, you make a more personal
connection. Let us never forget, people follow those they like.
While your primary concern at the office may not be to make
friends; opening yourself up to your team will help develop a
sense of trust and loyalty towards you.
4. Stay in integrity with your values. Emotional control does
not equate to silence. Just the opposite. When a difficult
subject needs to be addressed, you will be fully able to do so…
with a level head. When the truth needs to be told, you will be
a person other’s look to. By showing others you are filled with
integrity and you stand by your values will help to define your
reputation. Respect always follow those whose “yes” means “yes”
and whose “no” means “no”.
5. Tactfully handle the negative. It seems, regardless of the size
of organization you work for, that negative people will always be
present. These are the ones that continually complain, create
confrontations and lack control of their emotions. If their
contribution to your team does not outweigh the damaging
attitude, you may want to consider having them transferred to a
position where they would be more suited. Be aware of these
personality types. Also be prepared to handle the challenges
they will bring to you as you prepare to develop your new
emotional steadiness.
Progressive leaders are emotionally stable leaders. They are the
ones others turn to during a crisis. They are the ones that
become the beacon of true leadership. They are the ones that
make it to the top!
-----------------------------------
Carole is President and Executive Coach of Progressive
Leadership, offering executive coaching, organizational
development consulting and leadership development training.
Improve your business relationships, communication, team
performance and bottom line starting now. Visit http://www.progressiveleadership.com
for more info & subscribe to
Carole’s FREE Ezine.
These are from a book called
Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for
word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of
staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place:
LAWYER: She
had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
LAWYER: Were there any girls?
*******
LAWYER: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
LAWYER: And by whose death was it terminated?
A Classic! (Please don't tell
me I'm picking on lawyers again ... Deb's a lawyer and she sent me this!)
This is a true story and was the first place winner in the
recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest. (Something like the Darwin Awards
for professional conduct of criminal lawyers.)
A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars and
then insured them against fire, among other things.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and
without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer
filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small
fires". The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason:
that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer
sued.... and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the
claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a
policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were
insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without
defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was
obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company
accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare
cigars lost in the "fires".
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24
counts of ARSON!
With his own
insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the
lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and he was
sentenced to 24 months in jail and ordered to
pay a $24,000 fine.
Aah - the perfect irony of it all :)
Quick Tip
What Makes Successful People
Successful?
Success Trait #1:
First of all, one of the
reason's why they're so successful now is because they didn't let their lack of
knowledge stop them. Despite the fact that many of them had no computer
experience, never mind experience using the Internet -- and despite the fact
that many had never owned a business before -- they just plain got started and
didn't worry about making everything "perfect"the first time.
Remember, I'm not talking
about rocket-scientists here. These are regular people, like you and me, who
started running their web sites out of their own homes and are now making
$100,000 to $600,000 a year with their sites.
And believe it or not,
almost all of them were making a profit from day-one!Sure, they weren't
all making buckets of cash right away; but their profits increased quickly as
they continued to improve on what they started with.
Success Trait #2:
I've already mentioned
that these successful web site owners didn't worry about making everything
"perfect" right away. And this is important, because rather than
overload themselves by trying to become Internet marketing gurus BEFORE they got
started, they just dove in and focused on one marketing strategy at a time,working
extremely hard to maximize their profits with one strategy before moving onto
the next.
This is a trait that
really amazed me because even though these successful web site owners are
earning substantial incomes from their web sites, they ALL talk about how they
plan to snowball their profits and sales even more by strategically adding
another strategy... and another strategy... and another strategy... to their web
sites, one at a time.
Success Trait #3:
Interestingly, the one
point that kept coming up again and again, sometimes two or three times in a
single interview, was that all of these successful site owners confess they
could have been earning a MUCH bigger income MUCH faster had they only
avoided the costly mistakes started educating themselves sooner.
And that's probably the
most critical trait these success stories share -- they've all committed to
educating themselves about the most profitable marketing strategies and
techniques.
In fact, I could literally
go on for pages and pages reeling off the hundreds of invaluable marketing
strategies, techniques, tools, and software recommendations that these people
share in their interviews, based on their own real-life experiencesand
commitment to educating themselves.
If
you want to automatically skip the failing promotions, and start learning
the tested, proven strategies that real businesses have already proven to be
enormously successful, then visit
now to
take a private tour of "Mom & Pop" web sites that earn
$100,000 to $600,000 a year and discover the exact step-by-step strategies they
have personally used to generate these massive profits!
Success Stories
Ellen Cagnassol is a
work-at-home mom who produces homemade, personalized glycerin soaps. Discover
the strategies she used to expand her offline business onto the Web, and how she
gets big companies (like Johnson and Johnson) to distribute and sell her soaps
for her... earning a hefty online income at the same time!
Kelly Monaghan has quite
literally built a $200,000+ Web business around his lifestyle. While he's
bumping across Tibet in a jeep or white water rafting in Nepal, his four
successful sites continue to bank his sales and profits....
Andy Bryant's
site is generating an impressive $50,000 in sales per month...and even
Andy's a bit surprised to discover that his $600,000 a year online income
is the result of his own self-proclaimed vain quest to reverse his own hair
loss!
Anthony Ellis
"used to" work on Wall Street and dreaded going to work... Now he runs
a successful Internet business that brings in over $1,000 per day selling just
one product... that's over $250,000 per year!
Ken Calhoun grossed over
$98,000 in sales with his Internet business in 2000 (his first full year online)
and then tripled his sales to earn over $300,000 last year— almost
all of it profit, all from his beachfront condo in Hawaii.
Don't waste
time re-inventing the wheel - follow in the steps of these highly successful
entrepreneurs. Click to learn
more:
NB All programs and products
I recommend as an affiliate are owned by people whose integrity and judgement
I've found to be worthy of respect during my years on the Internet. I do not
associate myself (or you) with programs that have dubious worth.
